Well, this is awkward...!

[MrsNaomiC]

I've been packing my husband's clothes and the furniture that's his away to the shed today. He hasn't shown much interest in picking it all up - he's got what he needs. But I just can't keep it all in our - my - room any more.
Ignoring all the calls he's made to my phone this weekend also. He's been calling frequently just to chat. It feels like he knows how weak I am, and how charming he is, and thinks that this separation is merely living in different places. I made the huge mistake of inviting him over last time he wanted to "chat". We ended up having sex, then arguing. It made me feel stupid and pathetic. Even after then I kept picking up the phone.
I'm not really one for melodrama, and never thought it'd be like this, but packing his stuff away is so hard. My hands are shaking, a headache is forming and I'm working hard to fight off tears. It's not like he's died. It's not like we're divorcing.
There's so much to get rid of... the first thing was his computer. I couldn't stand having it around. It was where he'd looked up all that ####. Then I threw out the blood spattered clothes from when he and my dad beat each other up, the last night he ever slept here.
My mates are all busy, so I'm at it alone, trying to be "strong".
So here I am, this is my introduction to the Divorced or Separated thread...
Thank God it's here. God Bless you all... I feel better already, getting it all off my chest.

Naomi

 

[Gimpy]

Welcome, Naomi. I wish I had some thoughts of wisdom to give to you, but I am glad you are able to lighten your load here. I only pray all comes out Gods way and you are healed.

 

[psalms66]

Naomi,

Dear heart, You don't have to "be strong". Sit down and cry when you're finished. This sucks. No 2 ways about it. It's the hardest thing I ever went through, and packing up x's things was a very hard day, even though I wanted them/him gone.

I survived the first month by having a glass of wine and 3 chocolate Lindor Truffles after the kids were in bed every night. DO what you need to. "Be gracious with yourself" to quote Flandidly.

We love you here - vent anytime. It really does help.

Hugs to you sweety...

 

[tryingtobeagain]

Hey Naomi,
I know it's tough. I threw all my husband's stuff in the storage closet until I was ready to deal with it. When I was ready it was because I needed the space in the storage closet and I had just thrown everything in. There are alot of memories associated with those things and so it's very emotional. Let it out, call a friend or family member and you'll feel a bit better when it's all over. Pray and stay strong. We're all here if you need.

Joi

 

[overit]

Naomi, I just read your post about your H and your Dad. My goodness! All I can say is that I'll pray for you, and I hope you stay away for good, maybe not what you want to hear, but having been to close to this world, and knowing what I do, I rather dissapoint you by saying this then you end up dead down the line. And believe me, the way he acts you will.

Any man that put a finger on my father would be out of my life so quick he wouldn't know what hit him.

It sounds to me you are suffering from stockholm syndrome and trauma bonding. Get some help from Domestic Violence advocates right away. Your dad was being TOO nice to you to not have him charged, but IMO it was the wrong decision. The best thing would have been to charge the guy even if you didn't want this. He would have been doing the best thing for you.
My heart goes out to you. Please stay away from this guy, get a protection order, he is extremely unstable and dangerous.

 

[VioletLady]

Hi Naomi, and welcome.

I think I know how you feel - my husband left me in July, I finally cleared out the rest of his junk - and I mean junk - out of my cupboard to put mine and my daughter's bikes in there. I guess I have been holding on for him to come back, he asked if he could come back at Christmas, but I found out later that he had just had an argument with his landlord. Since then he has moved into another new flat, so I figured the time was right to get rid of his garbage. Even after that amount of time, the process of moving his stuff out made me feel sad, and sick.

It's gonna take time sweetie. Hang in there, and I'm sure you'll get plenty of support here -

Praying for you, God bless.

 

[Prodical]

Naomi, what you're experiencing is completely normal.
It is okay to show emotion and release tnesion from within. You just make sure youre praying diligently and studying Gods word...he work it out for you

 

[MrsNaomiC]

Thank you, everyone, so much for your replies. This is the first time this week that I've had time to come back and check in - had to take on more shifts to cover rent, sigh.
I've definitely maxed out on chocolate, and had a drink every night to cope. Successfuly managed not to become an alcoholic, but I think I'm a certified chocoholic now. I miss my husband terribly. If you're right, overit, I'll find out - seeing a psychologist through uni. It's been hardest advising my lecturers. I don't want any special attention but at the same time I know that things ARE harder for me at the moment than most students, and I don't want to be penalised any more than I am being.
Thank you so much for all of your prayers. And thank God for this part of CF.

Love,

Naomi.