Weird question.. help?

[ChristinaMarie7788]

So I work at a church, and I love the church itself (the people, the priests, etc.). I’ve met so many people through my work in their music ministry. However, throughout my 3 years there I am starting to have some serious concerns with the organist. I find that he is incredibly hard on me and not so much on anyone else.

I am someone who has pretty bad anxiety, so whenever I make a mistake I am really hard on myself. To make matters worse, this person will purposefully shame me publically in front of the rest of the choir and make me feel stupid and more of a failure than I already do. I am just constantly waiting in fear for what he could say and that causes me to have panic attacks before church. It’s caused me to avoid confrontation with him unnecessarily, and I’ve even had so much panic to where I’ll run to the bathroom in the middle of the service and throw up because I’m so petrified.

The thought of talking to him about it terrifies me. I don’t want to leave the Church per se because I love everything but this person. I’ve talked to the priest about this but not in detail. Should I talk to him? I don’t want to sound like a complainer but at the same time I can’t physically handle this anymore and it’s to the point where I want to leave the church (where I am a member and was baptized, on top of being employed!). I’m at a loss. I simply don’t know what to do.

So I guess my question is what would you guys do? The thought of talking to this person gives me so much anxiety that I don’t think I could do it though I know i should. Should I talk to my priest about it? We have a good relationship so he might understand but I’m just not sure.

Thanks everyone!

 

[Gregory Thompson]

Talk to the Priest so an appointment can be set up so the two of you (you and organist) can sort this out is what comes to mind.

 

[redleghunter]

I would talk to the priest or the organist superior.

 

[St_Worm2]

So I work at a church, and I love the church itself (the people, the priests, etc.). I’ve met so many people through my work in their music ministry. However, throughout my 3 years there I am starting to have some serious concerns with the organist. I find that he is incredibly hard on me and not so much on anyone else.

I am someone who has pretty bad anxiety, so whenever I make a mistake I am really hard on myself. To make matters worse, this person will purposefully shame me publically in front of the rest of the choir and make me feel stupid and more of a failure than I already do. I am just constantly waiting in fear for what he could say and that causes me to have panic attacks before church. It’s caused me to avoid confrontation with him unnecessarily, and I’ve even had so much panic to where I’ll run to the bathroom in the middle of the service and throw up because I’m so petrified.

The thought of talking to him about it terrifies me. I don’t want to leave the Church per se because I love everything but this person. I’ve talked to the priest about this but not in detail. Should I talk to him? I don’t want to sound like a complainer but at the same time I can’t physically handle this anymore and it’s to the point where I want to leave the church (where I am a member and was baptized, on top of being employed!). I’m at a loss. I simply don’t know what to do.

So I guess my question is what would you guys do? The thought of talking to this person gives me so much anxiety that I don’t think I could do it though I know i should. Should I talk to my priest about it? We have a good relationship so he might understand but I’m just not sure.

Thanks everyone!

Hi ChristinaMarie, first off, WELCOME TO CF ..

That said, I agree with Michael. Also, where another brother's or sister's sin is the issue, Biblically, we are called to approach them directly at first. But this situation of yours is not so clear-cut (and it may or may not be one that involves "sin"), so your priest is the one you need to go talk to and let him guide you about what to do next. I suspect, again along with Michael, that he will set up a meeting so that the two of you, along with your priest, can work through the problems you're having with him. Hopefully, it will be resolved quickly and easily.

Quite frankly, the organist may not realize how he is affecting you, or at least to what extent, but considering all that you just said, you need to do something about this immediately.

The Lord will see you through this, so keep praying and keep your focus on Him .. Proverbs 3:5-6; Isaiah 40:31, 41:10; Philippians 4:6-7.

God bless you! (Numbers 6:24-26)

--David
p.s. - Praying for you!

 

[disciple1]

So I work at a church, and I love the church itself (the people, the priests, etc.). I’ve met so many people through my work in their music ministry. However, throughout my 3 years there I am starting to have some serious concerns with the organist. I find that he is incredibly hard on me and not so much on anyone else.

I am someone who has pretty bad anxiety, so whenever I make a mistake I am really hard on myself. To make matters worse, this person will purposefully shame me publically in front of the rest of the choir and make me feel stupid and more of a failure than I already do. I am just constantly waiting in fear for what he could say and that causes me to have panic attacks before church. It’s caused me to avoid confrontation with him unnecessarily, and I’ve even had so much panic to where I’ll run to the bathroom in the middle of the service and throw up because I’m so petrified.

The thought of talking to him about it terrifies me. I don’t want to leave the Church per se because I love everything but this person. I’ve talked to the priest about this but not in detail. Should I talk to him? I don’t want to sound like a complainer but at the same time I can’t physically handle this anymore and it’s to the point where I want to leave the church (where I am a member and was baptized, on top of being employed!). I’m at a loss. I simply don’t know what to do.

So I guess my question is what would you guys do? The thought of talking to this person gives me so much anxiety that I don’t think I could do it though I know i should. Should I talk to my priest about it? We have a good relationship so he might understand but I’m just not sure.

Thanks everyone!

I would pray that the right words be given to you, for whoever you talk to.
Luke chapter 18 verse 1
Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.

 

[Roseonathorn]

Very hard on You...is the organist an older man and You a younger woman and He should be afraid that You take His place some day and is trying to be hard to keep distance so He does not get emotionally involved or in love because that would be improper and now He has gone to an extreeme behavior with His harshness.

 

[LostMarbels]

So I guess my question is what would you guys do?

I am an 'it is written' person more so than chapter and verse. So I apologize beforehand if I do not label a verse.

In my own walk, it took me awhile to figure out the anxiety isn't necessary. It's a lie and not reality. I have major panic attacks. Where in the past, I have actually gone to the hospital thinking I was literary dying. I have been so freaked out that once they gave me a drug screening from my blood sample to see if I was high.

For me, I begin with confessing Jesus. Confessing Jesus opens up communication with God for me despite the anxiety. Then I ask for help: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. I confess my sins and ask for the holy spirit's presence. Then I beg, scream, and cry out (in prayer/the spirit) like a drowning man screaming at a passing ship. God will not fail you. He is already in your midst as you go through your anxiety. He will always catch your outstretched hand when you reach for him. God will never fail you.

I refuse to look at the waves. Just step out there on the water and trust that God has a hold of you. I give God praise because praise manifests God’s presence: Whoso offereth praise glorifieth me: and to him that ordereth his conversation aright will I show the salvation of God.

Now that I am in the presence of God I remind myself I am his child: Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ

That's right, I am an adopted child of the creator of all heaven and earth and a co-inherentant of the kingdom of God in Christ Jesus. Now a few bad feelings aren't looking so bad to me anymore; so I give God praise and thanks. And I just keep building upon this. Before long I am having a conversation with God and forgot all about the panic.

As for the individual themselves. They are not the issue. The situation is the issue. Forgive the man, condem the situation. There is the power of life and death in the tongue. Speak against the situation. Speak forgiveness over the individual. Honestly, seek to forgive this man. Forbear his transgressions and pray for strength. You can not overcome evil with evil, but love conquers all.

 

[Roseonathorn]

"In my own walk, it took me awhile to figure out the anxiety isn't necessary. It's a lie and not reality. I have major panic attacks. Where in the past, I have actually gone to the hospital thinking I was literary dying." Quote

I once a long time ago took a medicine in my life and experienced more out of the blue for no reason times with difficulties to breath, and like a weight on my chest and feelings of dizziness, I would panic a bit internally out of that, it stopped when I stopped that medication, so I think some medicines can cause something that is similar to panic or distress, although it was not a panic attack in itself only a sideeffect of some sort. Still one should never ignore a medical explanation to the way one feel. I never feel any dizziness or shortness of breath now or unexplained panic or distress that comes out of the blue for no reason at all so I blame that one on medicinal sideeffect. Every person is different. It might also be a fact that the organist and You are both perfectionists but He has less social manners than You have and displays any faults he finds because He was lucky to find one. Really I am not You but I might have gotten so fed up with Him that I might have purposefully played more "wrongs", nice chords but not correct out of the notes that only He and a trained organist or musician could hear and then the church would get tired of hearing Him rant and silenced Him in turn for example chord c might be turned into C7 or C4 or C2 or whatever suitable and that could sound just fine with the occation but if one is a perfectionist it is of course wrong because the notes said C.

 

[miamited]

So I work at a church, and I love the church itself (the people, the priests, etc.). I’ve met so many people through my work in their music ministry. However, throughout my 3 years there I am starting to have some serious concerns with the organist. I find that he is incredibly hard on me and not so much on anyone else.

I am someone who has pretty bad anxiety, so whenever I make a mistake I am really hard on myself. To make matters worse, this person will purposefully shame me publically in front of the rest of the choir and make me feel stupid and more of a failure than I already do. I am just constantly waiting in fear for what he could say and that causes me to have panic attacks before church. It’s caused me to avoid confrontation with him unnecessarily, and I’ve even had so much panic to where I’ll run to the bathroom in the middle of the service and throw up because I’m so petrified.

The thought of talking to him about it terrifies me. I don’t want to leave the Church per se because I love everything but this person. I’ve talked to the priest about this but not in detail. Should I talk to him? I don’t want to sound like a complainer but at the same time I can’t physically handle this anymore and it’s to the point where I want to leave the church (where I am a member and was baptized, on top of being employed!). I’m at a loss. I simply don’t know what to do.

So I guess my question is what would you guys do? The thought of talking to this person gives me so much anxiety that I don’t think I could do it though I know i should. Should I talk to my priest about it? We have a good relationship so he might understand but I’m just not sure.

Thanks everyone!

Hi CM,

Honestly, for me to be able to give advice that might prove useful, I think I'd need to know a bit more about the situation. You say that you work for the church. In what capacity? Why does your work put you in confrontation with the organist? Are you the music director or do you just file the music or do you play the piano?

What is it that you do (or that he/she thinks you do) that brings up any conversation where he/she might put you down? You wrote: "I find that he is incredibly hard on me and not so much on anyone else". What is your position within the music ministry that he would be hard on you?

God bless you,
In Christ, ted