weird looks?

[Linnis]

This may come off as a vent and I'm sorry but I'm a little upset.

My MIL wants to get a big house so we can all live together(her, us & baby) which I don't want. I do not want to live with other people ever again, let alone my MIL. So then she suggests we get a bigger home out of our price range so that the baby can have his or her own room.

Why do I want to send my kid far away? I mean growing up I lived with my mum, dad, brother, cat and dog in a 3 bedrooom apartment. We ate our meals together, watched TV in the same room or we'd all be doing our own tasks within the same room. DH and I move in together, we normally are in the same room together. We may be doing different things but in the same room.

We've discussed it and we plan on pushing the crib up against the bed for the first while(around six months give or take) then moving it to the other side with about a 4 foot gap in between our bed and baby's bed. Neither of us like the idea of our baby being far away, we'd probably totally co-sleep if I wasn't in so much pain(some days the sheets touching me puts me in tears let alone a person). When our nephew's here, he's playing, I'm reading and Ron's reading or something...if one of us leaves normally it isn't too long before you hear "Whatcha doin' ?" Or how we'll watch whole movies with 3 people squished(very cuddly)on a loveseat.

We fully expect that by age 2 or 3 of this baby, we'll need more space, need a two bedroom for married people privacy issues, the addes space of the kids stuff etc.

So I know this life isn't for everyone. More times than I can count I've heard comments about spending so much time with my DH...sure rooming-in isn't for everyone...but why are we being treated like quacks? Apparently we don't have enough room with our stuff...so I think then maybe we have too much stuff...

I could so see it even if we could afford a big house we'd all be in the same room.

 

[jgonz]

There are 10 of us living in a 1700 sq ft house. I love everyone being together.

 

[katelyn]

If you are happy with your living situation, that's all that matters. I agree that when they are a baby you don't really need a room for them unless you feel the need for one. Natalie has her own room, but mostly it's just a place to store her stuff rather than a place where she spends a significant amount of time.

 

[oliveplants]

DH and I are always together. DOn't see why you shouldn't be able to get along how you are comfortable.

 

[Leanna]

Yeah I understand. We figure next time our baby will share our room with a crib in there, and then when he/she gets old enough to need a room then we will put them with David.... I think sharing rooms can be a nice bonding experience. I wouldn't move in with your MIL, it may just be that she wants to "control" stuff with your baby, or something of that sort.... (based off of former MIL conversations)

 

[JulySheMustFly]

Until we bought our house we had 5 people in a 700sf apartment, the bedrooms in that apartment and the apartment prior were adjoining. Everyone has a different method that works for them. With out first she slept in our bedroom in a basket for 5 months. I found it alot easier for middle night feedings to have her right there next to me. I didn't even have to get out of bed.

 

[Linnis]

Yeah I understand. We figure next time our baby will share our room with a crib in there, and then when he/she gets old enough to need a room then we will put them with David.... I think sharing rooms can be a nice bonding experience. I wouldn't move in with your MIL, it may just be that she wants to "control" stuff with your baby, or something of that sort.... (based off of former MIL conversations)

Growing up the only reason I didn't share a room past age 5 is I had a brother.

I too was thinking my MIL wants to have too many opinons about the baby, our living situation etc. Besides when we lived with her before, she never kept up her half of the deal as far as bills etc and I never want to have to deal with that again. Also, we love the privacy of living alone and wouldn't want to trade that for anything.

 

[Athene]

I'm glad Leanna said something first, from what you have said in the past it does not sound like a good idea to move in with your MIL. Remember a thread a week or so ago on 'helpful advice' well the worst offenders on giving out 'helpful' advice are mothers and MILs, and because your family they feel they have the right to make you do things their way . . . . living with your MIL would mean there is no escape.
I speak from experience in this, I lived with my mum when my babies were small and she was constantly trying to make me do things her way . . . very irritating.

I'm struggling to understand why it would be weird to spend alot of time with your own husband, surely one goes into marriage with the expectation of spending great amounts of time with ones spouse? What do these people do? Sit in seperate rooms all day? Weird, crazy I tell you.

 

[Linnis]

I'm struggling to understand why it would be weird to spend alot of time with your own husband, surely one goes into marriage with the expectation of spending great amounts of time with ones spouse? What do these people do? Sit in seperate rooms all day? Weird, crazy I tell you.

Most couples our age work opposite shifts, go out seperatly more often than together etc. I too wonder why one would get married unless they like spending lots of time with their SO. Ohwell there are worst things to be known for than spending too much time with my own husband.

 

[Leanna]

Blah to them Linnis.... everyone I know hangs out extensively with their significant other, myself included.

 

[~Mrs. A2J~]

You can't have two hens in the same hen house. If you moved in with your MIL she would no doubt want to take position of the top "hen" which will only cause grief. Unless your MIL is one not to give her opinions unless asked I would steer clear.

I love spending time with hubby and daughter. I know my ILs can't understand why we like to be together so much and MIL acts like I should be happy that hubby works away from home cos I'm having a break from him. Why would I want to have a break from the man I love??? Same with my daughter. I hear that I should want to spend time away from her and I really don't. I love being around her.

I guess different strokes for different folks...