Weird for a Christian girl to behave this way?

[Jonathan95]

Hi,

I met a Christian girl recently at a revival conference with about 30 000 people, who I had met at conferences three times before, but we have barely spoken. I had just sat down, came straight from work, and saw her down at the floor, she came up to my chair and hugged me, telling me she had been walking around (as she had been looking for me or something like that), we started talking a bit, then she said she had to go, smiled and went.

Before that I met her at another conference, and I met her with 2 friends, she knows these guys as well, and she only talked to me, telling me she has seen what I'm doing on Facebook, travelling to England for Bible college and stuff, and encouraged me.

Then about 1 week later I met her at a youth conference, and she asked me for a hug, and I gave her a normal friendly one hand hug, and she took hold of me with both arms, and gave me a bit prolonged hug. Then we started talking, encouraging each other and we had some prophetic words for each other. Then we just looked into each others eyes for some time, and she brushed up with her head against my chest, and started embracing me again.
Then she had to go, she smiled and waved at me.

I don't know her so well, yet she hugged me as if we know each other, I didn't expect this from her, or from a Christian girl, and not sure if it's good for both of us, if we get too attached with feelings (if that's what it was for her) for each other when we barely know each other.

Would you say it was appropriate for her to hug me this way, or wrong by me not to respond to her in the same way?

I have asked her if she wants to come to my church, but she didn't give any clear answer, and I asked if she was going to a youth meeting with a guest preacher in her church, and she said she wanted to. Then she told me she was really tired and will stay home, yet I think I saw her on the screen in her church, and the next Sunday I saw her going to another church alone with another guy that already has a girlfriend.

 

[Huguenot]

She sounds like a seductress. Run the other way. !

Sent from my 5027B using Tapatalk

 

[Galatea]

She might just be a hugger. A lot of women and girls are. They don't mean anything by it. I would say, it doesn't sound like she is interested in you since she didn't want to go to church with you. I wouldn't put much store in her hugging you.

 

[Huguenot]

Some women go to churches to man shop.

Sent from my 5027B using Tapatalk

 

[com7fy8]

we had some prophetic words for each other

Well . . . did either of you have words for each other, about this?

I guess if you know the guy, you can ask him about it, let him speak for himself.

I would say we don't know, only from what you have told us.

In general, if I was you, I would let her hug me and I would not push to make her answer to me. If she gets to where she trusts me, she can tell me things. If she doesn't trust me enough to share about important things, this is all I need to know. If I have not gotten to know her well enough to know what is going on, I'd say I don't know her well enough to date her and/or get in love with her, certainly not marry her

I find it can be difficult to predict and keep track of a person who is socially loose without a compass; but it can be impossible to keep track of a spiritual person who cares for various people

 

[Jonathan95]

She sounds like a seductress. Run the other way. !

Sent from my 5027B using Tapatalk

I just found it weird because I had been praying to God about her, because I saw a lot in her, she's seems to be shining with God in her face, been to mission trips like me, reaches out to people in the street, has a gift of prophecy and writes songs.

And I prayed to God to meet her, and then I met her at the revival conference after not having met her for a while.

But this guy she went to church with and seems to be into, it's weird since he already has a girlfriend.
She doesn't seem to be as honest and godly as I thought maybe. I don't know her so well, and I want to get to know someone before I get into a relation.

Not sure if I should see this as a confirmation that she's not right for me then.
It's just hard to overcome my feelings for her, since I got attached to her when she embraced me the way she did.
I've found it hard before to overcome feelings, which has led me to depression, lack of sleep etc because I tend to think a lot. This is also why I was afraid of getting too attached to her, I don't want to be hurt by girls like before.

 

[Huguenot]

Wait, prophetic words?! Are you guys saying you're Prophets?!

Sent from my 5027B using Tapatalk

 

[Huguenot]

Be careful, the devil disguises himself as a hot chic.

Sent from my 5027B using Tapatalk

 

[Jonathan95]

Well . . . did either of you have words for each other, about this?

I guess if you know the guy, you can ask him about it, let him speak for himself.

I would say we don't know, only from what you have told us.

In general, if I was you, I would let her hug me and I would not push to make her answer to me.

No the prophetic words weren't about relations, if that's what you meant? It was encouragement for each other, or rather words of knowledge maybe.

I don't know the guy she went to church with, I've never even met him.

I did let her hug me, but I didn't embrace her the way she did, since she seemed to do it with so much attachment, and I wasn't ready to respond that way to someone I don't know.
In some other Christian circles I'm in, it's common for boys and girls to hug each other with both arms, so doesn't add any meaning to it, but since this only gave me conventional hugs and then started embracing me with both arms, it adds meaning to it.

 

[Jonathan95]

Be careful, the devil disguises himself as a hot chic.

Sent from my 5027B using Tapatalk

You start to sound like a troll, you have 12 posts and already try to give relational advice as well?

 

[Galatea]

No the prophetic words weren't about relations, if that's what you meant? It was encouragement for each other, or rather words of knowledge maybe.

I don't know the guy she went to church with, I've never even met him.

I did let her hug me, but I didn't embrace her the way she did, since she seemed to do it with so much attachment, and I wasn't ready to respond that way to someone I don't know.
In some other Christian circles I'm in, it's common for boys and girls to hug each other with both arms, so doesn't add any meaning to it, but since this only gave me conventional hugs and then started embracing me with both arms, it adds meaning to it.

I don't think she's into you. I think she's just a hugger. But, to put your mind at ease, why don't you contact her on facebook and tell her you are into her and ask if she's interested. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

[Jonathan95]

I don't know if it's a matter of insecurity in her as well, when I met her the latest time, when she embraced me, she didn't seem to want to talk first, said she was going, but I told her to wait.

 

[Imperiuz]

Hugging is nothing to be afraid of. I even hug other guys on occasion. And I'm not... eh...

But I can understand the connection you draw. One time I hugged a lady friend goodbye who I *ahem* guess I consider attractive with her boyfriend standing nearby. In a moment of weirdness, I hugged him as well just to show I meant nothing by doing so. Lol.

It's touching to read people as innocent as you seem to be - but when I read your story - hugging and looking in each others eyes - I kinda more get the feeling that this is kinda cute and more like what romance is supposed to be like for civilized people as opposed to making out with chicks one really doesn't know at parties and that kind of stuff.

The biblical standard for things like this (Matthew 5:27-28) is that lusting for someone sexually or attempting to seduce her/him is as bad as doing *it*. To me what you describe doesn't even seem to come close to that though.

 

[OcifferPls]

Never trust a front-hugger. The lack of mobility will leave you at a tactical disadvantage.

 

[Huguenot]

A Christian 'side hug' is the only safe bet. Anything else, well...

Sent from my 5027B using Tapatalk

 

[Jonathan95]

I don't think she's into you. I think she's just a hugger. But, to put your mind at ease, why don't you contact her on facebook and tell her you are into her and ask if she's interested. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Okay, I haven't talked to girls so much, I haven't really been so good friends with girls until now, so I don't know how to interpret them so well and their signals you know.

But I live in Sweden, would you say it would be normal for a girl to embrace a man that way in USA, if she's not into you?

I don't dare to ask her if she's into me, I don't want to face rejection or break my friendship with her, I will meet her at a Christian conference sooner or later, the Christian world is quite small in my country.

 

[paul becke]

She sounds like a 24 carat teaser ; as if she wants to play around with your affections ; if so, she will probably be doing the same with the other lads. It often happens that such girls are actually perfectly chaste, physically.

 

[Jonathan95]

The biblical standard for things like this (Matthew 5:27-28) is that lusting for someone sexually or attempting to seduce her/him is as bad as doing *it*. To me what you describe doesn't even seem to come close to that though.

Yes, I didn't see any lust in this, from my part, and her approach didn't seem anywhere near seductive, or directly lustful to me. Just I found it weird she seemed to get attached to me this way when I barely know her.

 

[EyesOfKohl]

Hi,

I met a Christian girl recently at a revival conference with about 30 000 people, who I had met at conferences three times before, but we have barely spoken. I had just sat down, came straight from work, and saw her down at the floor, she came up to my chair and hugged me, telling me she had been walking around (as she had been looking for me or something like that), we started talking a bit, then she said she had to go, smiled and went.

Before that I met her at another conference, and I met her with 2 friends, she knows these guys as well, and she only talked to me, telling me she has seen what I'm doing on Facebook, travelling to England for Bible college and stuff, and encouraged me.

Then about 1 week later I met her at a youth conference, and she asked me for a hug, and I gave her a normal friendly one hand hug, and she took hold of me with both arms, and gave me a bit prolonged hug. Then we started talking, encouraging each other and we had some prophetic words for each other. Then we just looked into each others eyes for some time, and she brushed up with her head against my chest, and started embracing me again.
Then she had to go, she smiled and waved at me.

I don't know her so well, yet she hugged me as if we know each other, I didn't expect this from her, or from a Christian girl, and not sure if it's good for both of us, if we get too attached with feelings (if that's what it was for her) for each other when we barely know each other.

Would you say it was appropriate for her to hug me this way, or wrong by me not to respond to her in the same way?

I have asked her if she wants to come to my church, but she didn't give any clear answer, and I asked if she was going to a youth meeting with a guest preacher in her church, and she said she wanted to. Then she told me she was really tired and will stay home, yet I think I saw her on the screen in her church, and the next Sunday I saw her going to another church alone with another guy that already has a girlfriend.

I guess you must ask yourself, do you like her and want to pursue her?

If not, don't respond to her hugs in a way you deem inappropriate

 

[Galatea]

Okay, I haven't talked to girls so much, I haven't really been so good friends with girls until now, so I don't know how to interpret them so well and their signals you know.

But I live in Sweden, would you say it would be normal for a girl to embrace a man that way in USA, if she's not into you?

I don't dare to ask her if she's into me, I don't want to face rejection or break my friendship with her, I will meet her at a Christian conference sooner or later, the Christian world is quite small in my country.

In the US, many girls will hug and think nothing of it. Especially if they are younger- they don't realize that a warm embrace could be interpreted as interest.

Do you talk to her online or on facebook?