Weird Feelings & Confidence

[JesusRox]

I kind of have this weird feeling of no emotion. I'm not happy but not sad and it's kind of a uncomfortable feeling. It also leads me to no have no motivation in doing anything. Like I can't get my school work done or concentrate on doing things. I can have an awesome day or be extremely happy and something bring me to this feeling but as I said it's not really a sad feeling either but it isn't good.

Another issue I have is with self confidence. I have absolutely no confidence in anything I do anymore. I just got a job and I really hope this doesn't lead to failure. Also, when I do things wrong sometimes it really tears me down. If I mess up on something I just immediately wish that I was dead and wish something would kill me at that moment and I think and think and think about it for a long time no matter if it's just a little stupid thing and what I should have done. :o

 

[HumbleBee]

JesusRox,

Could be spiritual warfare that coming against you The devil is the accuser of the brethren, he heaping false guilt on you trying to smother your light for Jesus! So combat that scheme with praising our Lord! Submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you! Draw near to God and He will draw near to you! (James 4:7-8) Plus, there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus! (Romans 8:1)

Renew your mind by reading your Bible...being filled with the Truth...will give you spiritual fortitude to stand against the lies of the enemy, then you won't be so easily tossed to and fro emotionally!

 

[Highland Watchman]

I remember when I was 13, with my second (and last) botched suicide attempt, I was put into counselling with the same guidance counsellor that I landed on... (Just so you know the context, I jumped off the roof of the school just as she was coming out the door and... you guessed it... she broke my fall...) In the counselling, there was one exercise that we did where she took a pile of poker chips and slid them over to me. She then told me to make a pile of poker chips that resembles the confidence that I have. I did... of the 100 or so on the table, I took two to represent how I felt about myself at the time.

She then told me to make small risks... because life is like a game sometimes, and confidence can be kind of like poker chips that we put onto the table. She let me keep one of the poker chips as a reminder, which later also became a reminder of faith when I later became a Christian. I have since given the poker chip away, but I discovered a while back that the chip that I chose to keep was the one that was worth the most of all of the ones on the table (as far as poker values go), though I did not know this at the time. Regarding confidence, that is the same advice that I pass onto you: take small risks, and trust in God to lead you. The chips that you have may seem like they are few, but because God is with you, and because HE has declared your worth, the ones that you have are worth so much more than the others on the table.

Regarding everything else... it could be a spiritual attack, as Humblebee has said. But it sounds to me a lot like burnout, which is a result of being overtired, overworked, and lacking in focus. I think this might even be connected to the other issue. I would be thinking that it would be wise to spend some time alone with God and try to figure out where you are at: spiritually, emotionally, professionally, etc. and ask the questions of what direction you see yourself moving in.

 

[JesusRox]

Thanks to you both.

I have been spending a lot more time reading the Bible and praying a lot more too. I'm trying to really bring up my life and trying to be the best I can but I'm just not suceeding.

I know this problem really happened two years ago. I have always been the top in my classes and looked at as a smart person. School and my grades meant a lot to me. When I went to high school the top in my classes changed. I failed miserably at Latin. My first semester I got a C and then the second semester I got an F. It brought me to really not care about my grades at all anymore. I just started not caring about a lot in life and am still that way sadly. It's the reason I chose to be homeschooled but I still can't focus on my work now. My older sister had straight A's in all 3 years she took Latin. My mom would say if she could do it I could. And now my mom tells me I won't go to college or be anything and she thinks that I'll quit my job.

 

[HumbleBee]

Joshua 1:9 Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.

Matthew 11:28-30 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

Luke 10:38-42 Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me." And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her."

Philippians 1:6 ...being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ...

1 Peter 5:7 ...casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

 

[Shalia]

Thanks to you both.

I have been spending a lot more time reading the Bible and praying a lot more too. I'm trying to really bring up my life and trying to be the best I can but I'm just not suceeding.

I know this problem really happened two years ago. I have always been the top in my classes and looked at as a smart person. School and my grades meant a lot to me. When I went to high school the top in my classes changed. I failed miserably at Latin. My first semester I got a C and then the second semester I got an F. It brought me to really not care about my grades at all anymore. I just started not caring about a lot in life and am still that way sadly. It's the reason I chose to be homeschooled but I still can't focus on my work now. My older sister had straight A's in all 3 years she took Latin. My mom would say if she could do it I could. And now my mom tells me I won't go to college or be anything and she thinks that I'll quit my job.

I know I'll probably take some flack for it, but don't rule out the possibility of REAL depression. It is a chemical disorder, and it does exist. And that emptiness of feeling can be a symptom, as is a lot of the other stuff you are describing. Teens are also exceptionally susceptible to depression due to their already changing hormones in their body, so honestly, if you are praising for all you are worth, reading your Bible regularly, and you can't get out of this, ask to see a counselor or a doctor. Sometimes medical help is the best way to go.

Symptoms of clinical depression <i.e. "see a doctor soon">:

• A persistent sad, anxious or "empty" mood
• Sleeping too little or sleeping too much
• Reduced appetite and weight loss, or increased appetite and weight gain
• Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed
• Restlessness or irritability
• Persistent physical symptoms that don't respond to treatment [such as headaches, chronic pain, or constipation and other digestive disorders]
• Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
• Fatigue or loss of energy
• Feeling guilty, hopeless or worthless
• Thoughts of death or suicide

If you are experiencing more than FIVE of these symptoms, they have persisted more than two weeks or they interfere in your daily function in life, it is time to see a doctor/therapist/counselor/someone medical.

Getting closer to God is always the first step. Work fervently at it! But I firmly believe God made us smart enough to make doctors for a reason, and when they can help, get the help they can offer.

<Puts on flack jacket and waits for the "real Christians don't get depressed" or "depression doesn't exist, just pray out of it" speech I fully expect to get.>

Shalia

 

[HumbleBee]

Shalia!

Well said! I had thought the same, so you done good and wisely in posting!

 

[Shalia]

Aw, thanks, Humblebee!! back!!

Shalia

 

[Maharg]

I kind of have this weird feeling of no emotion. I'm not happy but not sad and it's kind of a uncomfortable feeling. It also leads me to no have no motivation in doing anything. Like I can't get my school work done or concentrate on doing things. I can have an awesome day or be extremely happy and something bring me to this feeling but as I said it's not really a sad feeling either but it isn't good.

Another issue I have is with self confidence. I have absolutely no confidence in anything I do anymore. I just got a job and I really hope this doesn't lead to failure. Also, when I do things wrong sometimes it really tears me down. If I mess up on something I just immediately wish that I was dead and wish something would kill me at that moment and I think and think and think about it for a long time no matter if it's just a little stupid thing and what I should have done. :o

Hi JesusRox,

I just wanted to say I've been there too, and to try and offer some advice which I hope is Biblical (I'm not too good a Bible scolar at the moment!). I'm having a lot of trouble with confidence at the moment. I asked some advice from a brother at Taize (a Christian community in the south of France). I asked him what self-confidence was to a Christian because there didn't seem to be a Biblical reference for self-confidence. He said that confidence for Christians is about knowing that God has confidence in us. God has confidence in us, so therefore we can have confidence in ourselves.

For me, it is also about taking risks and trusting in God for the outcome. I'm suffering from depression at the moment, and I have days when I think I cannot achieve anything, or I sit and wait for divine inspiration to tell me what I should do with the day. I have relearned that the better thing to do is to pray to God at the beginning of the day for His peace and His guidance and His blessing on what you are going to do that day, and then go ahead and do stuff, trusting in Him for the outcome. And to be aware that God can use all things to the good of those who love Him. Remember that if you are loving God and you are loving others, you are doing everything God has asked you to do, and anything you do on top of this is a bonus. So if you mess up on a job because you don't know something or can't do it, God isn't sitting up there with a hammer ready to knock you over, He's loving you and knowing what He has in store for you, and feeling compassion for your suffering. And if you do somethng that you know is a sin, you can be forgiven instantly.

From what you say abut your reactions to things, it suggests to me that you are a sensitive person, and this has its plusses and its minuses. It probably means that you care what people think, and get very upset if someone doesn't like what you did or you mess up. I know that if I have been severely criticised I have felt like I wanted to die that instant - I get filled with an enormous sense of shame and guilt. The only way I am able to deal with this is to go back to God, and tell Him how hurt I am. If you can offload to God on a daily basis, and tell Him what has happened and how you are feeling it may begin to help you a little. Don't forget that no matter what you do, God never stops loving you, and He's unlikely to be wanting you to die because you made a mistake.

OK I've gone on for ages now, so will stop. I'm still learning all this stuff myself too, and I'm 10 years older than you, so don't be too hard on yourself.

Praying for you. You're a very special person.

Maharg
xx

 

[JesusRox]

Thank you all so much!!!

Thanks for the Bible verses HumbleBee

I've actually have pretty much all of that for a good while now Shalia.

Maharg, thanks a lot. I've been trusting so much in God lately and praying for guidance in all I do. It has helped A LOT. But, then when I'm laying in bed at night or sitting around there goes my mind again on things.

 

[Shalia]

I've actually have pretty much all of that for a good while now Shalia.

Can you ask your parents to see a doctor? They are the only ones who can diagnose depression <not some random person online!> and it sounds like you may need medical help.

And if you EVER have thoughts of hurting yourself at all, go to the emergency room. That's a medical emergency just as much as breaking a leg. <Since you said you've had pretty much all of them...> Thoughts of s**c*de are not normal. There ARE things that can help you, even counseling would help if you aren't into medicines.

God bless you, little sister. And I hope you get the help you need.

Shalia

 

[Maharg]

Just to reinforce what the others are saying, ensure you get some help for how you are feeling. It's very important to keep up with the prayer and all the other stuff too, of course, but if you are feeling so bad for so much of the time, it's important to get some support around you in order to help. If you are feeling so low, it's not something you should be facing on your own.





Maharg
xxx