This is a subject I am passionate about because I have been fat almost my entire life. I've found that excessive weight is an issue for most people when it comes to attractiveness, including those who are fat themselves. Most people who have several dozen pounds to lose, find people who are within 20-30 pounds of "ideal" weight to be more attractive than someone who is 50, 100, 250 pounds overweight. This is pretty normal for most of us, maybe hypocritical, yet normal. My wife and I both gained a substantial amount of weight after we got married, and blamed each other for it to some degree. Until we each took responsibility (once we separated in January) we both have lost all the weight we gain while living together. I never was turned off by her weight gain, but I did think that she looked better when she lost all her weight (same about myself).
People have mentioned that there are other areas of concern that one should consider equally with obesity such as smoking, excessive drinking, drug use, ect. I agree with one posting that stated fatness is a visible issue and the others may be more hidden. I totally agree that this is one of the reasons why it is talked so much about, yet another posting made (IMHO) a more important reason why this issue is so pressing..."being overweight is dangerous and it is a #1 problem right now in America." The other problem for Christians is this: (I have been saved for 26 years, associated with churches with 2000-16000 "members," and have served as a college group administrator and singles pastor) Being fat, unfit, and unhealthy (due to weight) seems to be accepted and prevalent in our churches. The other vices do exist, but haven't been nearly the problem for the individuals I've worked with as much as weight. Most of us are willing to accept that the other vices are very unhealthy and wrong; yet carrying around an extra 50 or 100 pounds seems just fine.
There is another issue to discuss. I've been to several forums that discuss singles, dating, marriage (sexual relations), and weight. Most women are not willing to accept that (in general) most men were created by God as "visual" creatures, as where most women look more to the internal qualities of the opposite gender. We really mess up when we expect men to be women and women to be men. We have been created differently. I understand, from a psychological point-of-view, how a woman (especially one who is quite/very overweight) thinks that a man should look to the internal qualities and not focus on the external ones. Men have many of the same problems when they expect a woman to act/think like a man.
I know this post doesn't really solve anything, but hopefully it explains some things and helps us accept some facts and differences...Michael
