Wedding traditions...

[AngylBelle]

I have seen many threads where women are very into big "traditional" weddings with all the trimmings, the perfect gown, flowers, dinner, etc. Are there any women, or men, that plan to have or would like to have a wedding that is not considered customary?

A tradition in my family, and one that I am most looking forward to following, is to get married someplace very informal (doesn't necessarily have to be a church), by a minister, but have as few people attend as possible, just the parents of the bride and groom, siblings, and maybe one or two close friends. It is not a full-fledged ceremony by any means, and the departure for the honeymoon takes place right after its completion. After returning from the honeymoon, the parents of the newlyweds throw a "themed" (hawaiian, glow-in-the dark, medieval, etc.) celebration reception for which all family and friends are welcome.

How do you want your wedding? Do you prefer the standard white dress and tux with the congregational ceremony and reception to follow, or do you want something off-beat?

 

[jesslynn327]

When that day comes, a long time down the road that is, I want the traditional dress and tux thing but I don't want it in a church...I want it outside, or on the beach, or some place like that...so, in a sense, mine is a little off-beat, but its my wedding so its something that should represent me, and same goes for you...whenever you're time comes, make it a wedding you will remember and something that is unique to you and your husbands personality.

 

[plum]

there's a thread like this in the engagement forum, in case you wanted to take a gander through those posts too.

A tradition in my family, and one that I am most looking forward to following, is to get married someplace very informal (doesn't necessarily have to be a church), by a minister, but have as few people attend as possible, just the parents of the bride and groom, siblings, and maybe one or two close friends. It is not a full-fledged ceremony by any means, and the departure for the honeymoon takes place right after its completion. After returning from the honeymoon, the parents of the newlyweds throw a "themed" (hawaiian, glow-in-the dark, medieval, etc.) celebration reception for which all family and friends are welcome.

now that is my kind of wedding tradition! too bad that's not how it's been in my circle of friends and family. and my FH wants to have ALL of the relatives at the ceremony (he doesn't want to make anyone mad) but that would be too many for my taste... so we'll have to compromise.

For a while I was hoping to have a simple dress (white is optional) perhaps with parts of it made with Sari fabric... I love color!! the more color, the merrier I will be, I say. I don't mind the groom not wearing a tux, but I do require a nice suit... nice enough anyway. My dream would be to have a super-small intimate wedding with the guests in a circle around the officiant (I would love this to be my brother if he's done with his religious education by then) and my FH and I walking towards each other from outside the circle, maybe greeting people on the way (this would only work in a very small group of course). We would meet and hold hands and then the "normative" prayers and vows would be said, followed by a laying on of hands by our families and maybe a foot washing ceremony (I got this idea from Sascha Fitzpatrick on here. Go Sach!)

the party... would simply be a party! heck it could be a barbecue or potluck for all i care. I don't plan on spending lots of money on catering. Not sure what the cake/dessert will be. Maybe just a bunch of brownies and pies for folks to chow on.

so yeah! that's my imagination so far.

 

[Lizzi4Christ]

That's a pretty cool idea!

For my wedding I want something semi-traditional. Lol. Example, I want the white dress, but I don't want anything large and poofy with a big train (no train is my goal, lol). I don't want to wear a veil. I don't want the traditional music.

I've heard so many stories where people who got married had their parent's bosses and their parents friends come. Nope. Not mine. People who come are going to be those that I want there. Those that I feel close to.

So, the main ideas are there, but with alittle tweaking.

 

[sweetmercy]

For the longest time, I wanted the traditional fairy-tale type wedding. But, after seeing several of my girlfriends get married within the past couple of years, there is NO way I want all that fuss! Like, who really cares if the napkins match the bridesmaid dresses exactly? Yeesh!

So now, I want something really small and simple, preferably on the beach. I want a simple, airy white dress and maybe even bare feet, and my husband-to-be can wear dress pants and a white shirt. I only want my closest friends and family there, and the reception will be something simple, like a barbeque on the beach. Then we can have a super honeymoon with all the money we'll have saved!!

I do want it to be a very "religious" ceremony, with lots of prayer and readings from the Bible, and maybe even some worship. A foot-washing ritual seems cool too.

Of course, all of this will be dependent on my groom, so we'll see how it actually pans out! Gotta find the groom first anyhow....
Jen

 

[JustLiz87]

Okay, I'm going to be sort of the odd one out. I want a simple white gown but probably an A-line with some beading. I guess I want the whole traditional wedding. For the most part, the people who I would invite would be friends and family, all people I know. I'm toying with the idea of writing our own vows. I definitely know that I want to be in charge of things because I don't want to start arguments if things are forgotten or whatever. Of course, I'll have help, I just want to overlook things. I think a more relaxed ceremony would be amazing, but I still want the traditional tuxes and gowns. Also, I would love to have a huge reception complete with dancing and good home cookin'. LoL. I know it sounds like I'm high-maintenance, but I am definitely not that type of girl. I would want to have my future husband pitch in his ideas because I think this day is about us. I don't want it to be MY day, I want it to be OUR day. The only thing I would not budge on would be the dress. I want to feel like a bride, I guess it's a girl thing. We all have our own idea for our dress. Anyways, I'm going to be quiet lol.

 

[Scottish Joy]

A tradition in my family, and one that I am most looking forward to following, is to get married someplace very informal (doesn't necessarily have to be a church), by a minister, but have as few people attend as possible, just the parents of the bride and groom, siblings, and maybe one or two close friends. It is not a full-fledged ceremony by any means, and the departure for the honeymoon takes place right after its completion. After returning from the honeymoon, the parents of the newlyweds throw a "themed" (hawaiian, glow-in-the dark, medieval, etc.) celebration reception for which all family and friends are welcome.

THAT IS SO COOL!!!

Oh wow, I really like those ideas! I have 8 months to plan my wedding, and people keep telling me I'll barely have enough time to get it together. I say oh pooey. It does not have to be such a wild affair, and so hard to coordinate.

I do want the white dress, for one thing, but I don't want it to be formal. I'd like to find or make a dress that I can wear places after our wedding if I want to. I'd like my sweetheart to just wear a nice colored shirt, with jeans or whatever he wants to wear. And a simple focused ceremony, with alot of singing would be lovely! I really like the idea of not having a big party to think about right after the wedding... Maybe we could just have a simple meal with a small group of people, say our goodbyes, and just go! Oh yes! That would be just wonderful! I just hate the idea of being all distracted with details on my wedding day. I want happiness and simplicity.

 

[halifaxhoney]

I've thought about my wedding and I pretty much know how it's going to go

I want the white dress with a train and maybe a veil, a full wedding party, the whole nine yards basically. I wouldn't write my own vows. One part of the ceremony would be a unity candle and at the beginning of the service the minister would light a memory candle for my mother and say something about her being here in spirit. (She passed away almost 8 years ago) All the guests would be invited to the ceremony and reception. It would be a buffet style and not an open bar. I'd do the first dance with my husband then the dance with my grandfather and who knows if I know who my father is I might do one with him as well. Then the one with the wedding party to kick off the night. My cake would be a 3 layer chocolate cheesecake. The flowers will be lilies and on the tables the centre pieces would be just a simple white candle on a glass holder.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

All I care about is the ceremony... So, it's on a beach, barefoot, with less than 50 people, and my Salvation Army minister.

The rest of the stuff I don't care about one iota - not even really the dress! I know the style I want, and that's enough for now.

I just think girls get a bit ridiculous with the amount of stress over something like a cake or flowers... They'll either be eaten or dead the next day, after all! I can't be bothered spending over $50 on something that's gone the next day...

Sasch

 

[gizmo03]

I have been planning many different ways of a wedding since I was a little girl..

One being, just me and my groom and the minister on a beach someplace at sunset. And then the two of us build a fire and lay by it on the sand all night.
Another being just the immediate family going someplace like Tenn. or somewhere with beautiful country scenes and get married there and just spend a few days together as one big whole family.
And then just the regular traditional wedding, big huge crowd, big wdding party. Then a real big reception. I want the big reception, fancy meal where waiters wait on you, no buffet style. And then for honeymoon a cruise to the Bahamas.

 

[Dawn Marie]

I don't want a big, expensive wedding with a huge party.

I want it to be simple, small. I don't even care much about the dress or the rings... as long as I get to marry the person I'm in love with.

 

[halifaxhoney]

I don't even care much about the dress or the rings... as long as I get to marry the person I'm in love with.

And that's the really important thing

 

[girlofgrace727]

I want to get married at a bible camp that I grew up going to..it is also the place where I met my someday husband. I want a pretty dress, tux and all that..but I want it to be as casual and just as plain old fun as possible. I want to have a dance, AND a worship service. When we walk down the isle as husband and wife when leaving I want a fun upbeat song to be played. Bah, I have so much more stuff I want but I don't have time haha

 

[palmettobride05]

Well, i am one of the odd ones. I am getting married Dec 2005 and i am having the full fleged traditional wedding. I think it is a southern thing really. We are not going all out and spending thousands of dollars. We are having a church cermony, the white dress, the tux, and all the other traditions that come along with marriage.

But my motto is what ever floats your boat. Get married how you want to. Not how everyone else tries to tell you!

 

[plum]

great motto, palmettobride!

so me SO and I have discussed it, and we really want a big outdoor barbecue for the reception maybe we'll make it an outdoor wedding in the same location? hehe less fuss.

 

[Diane_Windsor]

And that's the really important thing

And unfortunately that's what most members of society forget. Too many people focus on the perfect wedding, and not on the marriage itself.

I only want my closest friends and family there, and the reception will be something simple, like a barbeque on the beach. Then we can have a super honeymoon with all the money we'll have saved!!

I like the way you think! I would like to have a small intimate ceremony. A few close friends, some family members, and that's about it. Oh, and no children or smokers please. No attendants, but I do want my pets to be there too! Compromise-how about "pet escorts" LOL And a JP officiating-I really couldn't care less about getting married by a minister or in the Church, or Scripture readings, songs, etc.

I have not decided where I would eventually get married, however; I really do like the small setting of the Armstrong-Browning Library, which is conviently located on my alma mater's campus-Baylor-home of the National Women's Basketball Champions!!! "We finished the job!" As Freddy Mercury sang "We are the Champions my friends!!!!!!" We are #1!!!!!! Take that Pat Summit and Tennessee ! Okay, enough bragging!

I kind of like the idea of havng the reception at an elegant table service restuarant, or better yet to have no reception at all. I want to get to that wedding chamber immediately after I am married!

Actually, come to think of it. I might as well just elope to the Land of Elvis Impersonators and Flying Elvises!

Rather than spend lots of $$$ on the wedding/reception, I'd much rather have a really grand honeymoon. And yep, I know eactly where I want to go-the Happiest Place on Earth-Walt Disney World!!!!!!!!

Of course, all of this will be dependent on my groom, so we'll see how it actually pans out! Gotta find the groom first anyhow....

Don't put the cart in front of the horse as my Mom always tells me when I start talking about my Big Day.

I'm single too in case you haven't guessed it yet This does depend on who my groom is and what he wants.

Diane Windsor

 

[tyberium]

I was looking and I think I am the only male to reply to this thread so far, if I am mistaken sorry. Anyway, I just want a few people at the ceremony because I am not much for crouds, the more people the more stress. Now on the other hand my future wife wants her whole family and the whole church to attend. When I think about that all I can wonder is where will we get the money to feed them all(mcdonnalds for the reception! LOL). Not really, but seriously, that is quite a few people. I would be happy with just my close family, which numbers less than 20.

In the end though the attendence will be what she likes, not because it is "her day" but because I want her to be happy.

 

[Quantum_Man]

My FW and I will be having a traditional big wedding and reception. Both our parents are paying for the whole thing so we don't have to worry about it. We have large families and large numbers of friends, and we definitely want to share our big day with everyone. And who doesn't like to boogie woogie on the dance floor with their friends?

 

[halifaxhoney]

I think I'd do a themed wedding, like the dress would be 50s. I had a big discussion about weddings with my girlfriends over the past few days. Talking about stuff like that.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

We calculated for just immediate family and very close friends, so B and I will have 38 of our friends and family, with my parents probably wanting about 6 others (from their church, that I know as well).

If I was going to have all my cousins, their children, and my dad's side of the family (I haven't seen my dad in 3 years, and we are not close), the number would be up to 78!!!

So, it's just parents, siblings, aunts & uncles and close friends (most of whom are from church).

Much easier financially that way!

Sasch