we need space

[dobieman0488]

Im getting married next week, and apparently now all of a sudden this l,eads to issues with my family. Since we wont be home for father's day but going on a missions trip, that her parents are going on, my dad's taking this SUPER personally, and got realy angry, saying that now I'm putting my parents on the backburner for hers. and that he feels "betrayed", even though he knew I was going on the trip, even though he didnt know it was over father's day.i also guess they thought sarah and I were going on vacation with them, but we aren't since she couldnt getvacation at the same time as I could from work, and we're going to canada in august for our delayed honeymoon, so we had to back out. my grandmother said that I should go to be part of the family.
Sarah and I have a really hectic summer and want to adjust to married life and working full time, both of us are involvwed in ministry and have an additional missiosn trip in july. We want some more alone time that my parents vacation wouldn't give us, we'd need to share a room with my brother...
Thoughts/prayers are needed we're both pretty stressed out about this, we really need some space, and my dad's really ticked

 

[TheDag]

Im getting married next week, and apparently now all of a sudden this l,eads to issues with my family. Since we wont be home for father's day but going on a missions trip, that her parents are going on, my dad's taking this SUPER personally, and got realy angry, saying that now I'm putting my parents on the backburner for hers. and that he feels "betrayed", even though he knew I was going on the trip, even though he didnt know it was over father's day.i also guess they thought sarah and I were going on vacation with them, but we aren't since she couldnt getvacation at the same time as I could from work, and we're going to canada in august for our delayed honeymoon, so we had to back out. my grandmother said that I should go to be part of the family.
Sarah and I have a really hectic summer and want to adjust to married life and working full time, both of us are involvwed in ministry and have an additional missiosn trip in july. We want some more alone time that my parents vacation wouldn't give us, we'd need to share a room with my brother...
Thoughts/prayers are needed we're both pretty stressed out about this, we really need some space, and my dad's really ticked

thats tough luck for him. You are married now and your number one priority is your wife (after God of course). As the bible says in Genesis 2:24 [BIBLE]it is for this reason a man will leave his parents and cleave with his wife[/BIBLE]. She is now your family. I am not suggesting that you cut all ties and never speak to your folks again. However you are not responsible for your dad's feelings. If you can I would say Dad I'm sorry you are upset over this and that you feel if you don't spend this time with Sarah then your marriage will suffer. then aim to make sure you spend some time with him at a later date when you can. If he doesn't wnat to listen then wash your hands and walk away. If he talks with disrespect about Sarah stand up and let him know that is not acceptable. My guess is this is a reaction and will pass eventually. All the best.

 

[Tink]

TheDag is 100% correct.

 

[TheDag]

TheDag is 100% correct.

thamks for the encouragement

 

[Luther073082]

I went through similar things with my mother. My mom was constantly looking for an us vs. them fight and would get angry at any perceived slight. She is still a very critical person. Of both me and my wife.

In terms of vacation and things, I don't blame you, I wouldn't want to share a room with anyone when its my wife and I.

 

[K9_Trainer]

thats tough luck for him. You are married now and your number one priority is your wife (after God of course). As the bible says in Genesis 2:24 [bible]it is for this reason a man will leave his parents and cleave with his wife[/bible]. She is now your family. I am not suggesting that you cut all ties and never speak to your folks again. However you are not responsible for your dad's feelings. If you can I would say Dad I'm sorry you are upset over this and that you feel if you don't spend this time with Sarah then your marriage will suffer. then aim to make sure you spend some time with him at a later date when you can. If he doesn't wnat to listen then wash your hands and walk away. If he talks with disrespect about Sarah stand up and let him know that is not acceptable. My guess is this is a reaction and will pass eventually. All the best.

This for sure.

Sarah is going to be your wife, don't feel bad for making taking care of her your first priority, because thats how it should be.

 

[Monaleezza]

Get on with it! Your parents will get over it as long as you are able to sustain a close relationship with them.
Keep in touch.
Remind them of how grateful you are for all they have done for you.

You gotta understand this is a really difficult time, where parents have to grieve the loss of their children. Overnight they become your extended family now that you have a family of your own. That has to be a shock to the system.

But explain the importance of needing to nurture this new relationship, your new marriage for a while until you are ready to start holidaying with the extended family, in the future.

 

[JCFantasy23]

He's probably reacting this way because he's sensitive to the changes going on and feels like he is losing you in a way. I would have patience with him.