Hey everyone,
The topic of this thread is about putting my real self out there more often and trying to explain (if needed) the lack of dating experience. I’ll have to mention some background info.
I wasn’t raised in a Christian home. I came to Christ at 25 on a Thursday night after my sister had a tragic accident and I realized the corruption with bondage that held my family in disarray. Much of my young life was defined by low confidence and shyness. I didn’t play sports or was active in my school years. Wasn’t on the yearbook at all and picked up video games as escapism. I gained a lot of weight in college and was around 215 lbs. Most of my 20s I was obese, especially by body fat terms since I barely had muscle due to not working out. Due to being treated poorly and rarely being included in group settings and never being picked as a leader- in church, sports, or in other capacities- I never had a healthy life roadmap or experiences that I could feel good about or talk about w others.
Starting from 2 years ago, beginning of 2023, I started losing weight seriously and watching my diet, but during this time I started watching content like Wheat Waffles and FaceandLMS. These channels go into detail about what makes an attractive face and discuss how good looking men are treated by others. I don’t watch these videos anymore, but there’s a lot of truth there. Much of your confidence and self esteem stem from how people treat you going off of your looks.
I’ve attached two photos of myself (2 years ago and yesterday). I still have a little more to go in terms of losing fat. When you’ve been obese for years, you almost have to cut down to the bone to get rid of the facial bloat and abdominal fat, but I’m trying to go all in for a month and try walking 3 hours daily so I can close this season of waiting for my renewed self to end.
My only concern is how would I go about explaining- if asked, of course- why I’ve basically had no dating experience. I would not tell the story to a woman like I did here until I’m on a second or third date.
At the end of the day, my worth is based on how God sees me as His Child. I know that sounds a bit contradictory as what I said earlier (confidence based off of looks), but for my case, I need to shake off the negative experiences of being bullied, ostracized and disregarded in the past due to my obesity. The way people will treat me as a leaner and more attractive person are signs that I am truly valued and cherished by the One who made me from dust. Rinse and repeat from positive reinforcement and the low self esteem will vanish.
The topic of this thread is about putting my real self out there more often and trying to explain (if needed) the lack of dating experience. I’ll have to mention some background info.
I wasn’t raised in a Christian home. I came to Christ at 25 on a Thursday night after my sister had a tragic accident and I realized the corruption with bondage that held my family in disarray. Much of my young life was defined by low confidence and shyness. I didn’t play sports or was active in my school years. Wasn’t on the yearbook at all and picked up video games as escapism. I gained a lot of weight in college and was around 215 lbs. Most of my 20s I was obese, especially by body fat terms since I barely had muscle due to not working out. Due to being treated poorly and rarely being included in group settings and never being picked as a leader- in church, sports, or in other capacities- I never had a healthy life roadmap or experiences that I could feel good about or talk about w others.
Starting from 2 years ago, beginning of 2023, I started losing weight seriously and watching my diet, but during this time I started watching content like Wheat Waffles and FaceandLMS. These channels go into detail about what makes an attractive face and discuss how good looking men are treated by others. I don’t watch these videos anymore, but there’s a lot of truth there. Much of your confidence and self esteem stem from how people treat you going off of your looks.
I’ve attached two photos of myself (2 years ago and yesterday). I still have a little more to go in terms of losing fat. When you’ve been obese for years, you almost have to cut down to the bone to get rid of the facial bloat and abdominal fat, but I’m trying to go all in for a month and try walking 3 hours daily so I can close this season of waiting for my renewed self to end.
My only concern is how would I go about explaining- if asked, of course- why I’ve basically had no dating experience. I would not tell the story to a woman like I did here until I’m on a second or third date.
At the end of the day, my worth is based on how God sees me as His Child. I know that sounds a bit contradictory as what I said earlier (confidence based off of looks), but for my case, I need to shake off the negative experiences of being bullied, ostracized and disregarded in the past due to my obesity. The way people will treat me as a leaner and more attractive person are signs that I am truly valued and cherished by the One who made me from dust. Rinse and repeat from positive reinforcement and the low self esteem will vanish.
