Wasn't sure..

[MikeL89]

Hello everyone,

My name is Michael Lerch, and I am 19 years old from Oklahoma. I moved here in July to be with who is now my ex-girlfriend. We were in a relationship for two years and three months before we broke up, which was earlier this month. I am going through an extremely rough time now because I feel as though I have nothing anymore.. I live here by myself, I have no friends, and the girl I thought I would marry some day.. leaves me. I have parents but because of their lies and manipulation, I left them. I no longer recognize my parenst as parents, I have no family.

I came back to ChristianForums (my original account got deleted or something) in hopes to have some spiritual support. I am at a breaking point, I have no idea who I am anymore and I am losing interest in everything. I have started counseling mostly for depression from things in the past, but the recent events have also added onto that stack of stress.

I have a great job and I am school for my Associates in Information Technology.. but I'm so distracted because I feel so empty. I'm not crying every night or anything like that, but I just feel as though I have nothing to live for anymore. I am not suicidial, please do not think that. It is just that she was my motivation to be a better person and do extraordinary things with my life.. but now that has been lost and thus I can't keep my focus on anything. I'm failing both of my classes for online college, I'm not doing so well as a computer technician at the office.. I fear I may fail my classes and lose my job, then become some poor guy on the streets because I can't keep myself together.

As previously stated, I'm lost and I don't know what to do anymore. I am empty to the point that I don't even know what to say to anyone without thinking I am some idiot or something. I know, I sound crazy or something.. it is just I have nothing now... and now I'm whining.

Gah, I don't know what I want, what to do, and how to go about it. I have no idea where life is taking me and what God is trying to teach/show me. I honestly just want to give up and never do anything again.. just forget about love, and relationships, and everything really.. just never be a part of any of that anymore.

Someone please help me.. please talk to me..

 

[Justaman0000]

You can definately find some moral support here. Keep praying and follow Jesus with all your heart. It takes faith when things get tough. Your only 19, you have the rest of your life ahead of you. Now that your GF is gone your motivation should be the Lord. Do you read the bible, or participate in church activities? Maybe you should look into taking some mission trips. Get out and about. Peace.

 

[MikeL89]

I don't read the Bible.. I probably should.. and I do not have the money to do mission trips even though I really want to. I may not read the Bible was much I as should, but I know the Lord.

 

[RobinRedbreast]

Hi Mike

My name is Lynn, and I'm originally Nova Scotia. A number of years ago, I picked up and left my home with the clothes on my back, a small suitcase, and maybe $500 to my name in total, and moved clear across the country (Vancouver, BC) to be with a man I had been in a long distance relationship with.

We got married, and after 4 horrifying years of being in a very bad marriage, it failed and we divorced, and here I was stuck on the other side of the country. I had been a stay at home mom for most of my first marriage, hadn't held a job in years, had no motivation, no goals, no hobbies, no friends, and most importantly, no family. I also had no money, and even ended up living in a shelter (edit: very briefly, it wasn't a pleasant experience so I made other arrangements fairly quickly), and off the charity of others from time to time.

I am happily remarried with a steady full time job, a great place to live, great hobbies, a great man, a wonderful life.

I want you to know, that while right now it may seem hopefully, full of despair and confusion, lack of motivation, and so on... you will get through this, and you will come out on top. .. if you want to, that is. Because to be honest, any one of us can choose to throw our lives away right now and make a complete mess of it all. So as long as you keep searching and keep on putting one foot infront of the other, choosing to live each day as much as you can possibly live it, even if right now it doesn't seem like much? It is everything. And you will get out of this.

And I know, from experience, that nothing I say right now to you is going to seem like it matters, so I feel in a way that I shouldn't go on anymore than this When you are dead in the middle of it happening, it can seem hopefully, and people's "success stories" and stories of triumph feel a million miles away from what you are feeling right now.

But you can get through this, and I hope when you do, you'll remember that I told you so

 

[Justaman0000]

I don't read the Bible.. I probably should.. and I do not have the money to do mission trips even though I really want to. I may not read the Bible was much I as should, but I know the Lord.

Look into some churches that do mission trips. or maybe online. I'm getting ready to go on a mission trip with my wife and its not costing us anything. And read the bible as much as you can to get to know God even more. Theres so much information in there that will help you get closer to God.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

I think you just need to hang in there and ride this out. You're going through grief right now. It will take a while to get through it but then you will be fine, so long as you don't let it completely knock you off your feet.

 

[MikeL89]

Some of you have sent me private messages, I do thank you. Unfortunately CF refuses to let me reply until I reach a certain number of posts. Please do not think that I am ignoring you or something, your words have been kind and thank you all for being so supportive.

I agree that right now is a bit of a storm, but I am trying to keep my chin up and my eyes set to the sunny day on the other side. I failed to turn in my assignment for class yesterday though, so that is 10% off.. gah, I hate being distracted.

 

[RobinRedbreast]

I agree that right now is a bit of a storm, but I am trying to keep my chin up and my eyes set to the sunny day on the other side. I failed to turn in my assignment for class yesterday though, so that is 10% off.. gah, I hate being distracted.

This is something you have control over. You can decide to do the assignments or not, and if you fail out of your courses.. you can only blame your own choices, not your "situation". Even in the worst pain, people can still choose to keep on going. You just have to make that choice despite how hard it may be.

Ruining your future based on temporary pain will be pointless. Choose to keep going.

 

[buddy_holly]

Haha, 10% isnt the end of the world. Like you said, you have a good job, and are going to school. That in itself requires 90% of one's time. In terms of finding others for connection, because of your recent loss, others will come if you let them. School is a great time for meeting people and making new friends, especially post secondary, because those are the people who will be friends long term.

Don't worry man, it's just a speedbump.