Was married to an alcoholic with a mental illness

[LookBeautiful]

And he brought chaos into my life which I am still recovering from.

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

I can relate. I'll be undoing the financial and emotional damage for years, regardless of whether he gets help or not. It's easy enough to say it's a disease and they are sick - until you are the one living with it. It's hard to have that perspective on a day to day basis. Having your life torn apart certainly FEELS personal, and at least it seems that my H takes some pleasure in doing so.

 

[LookBeautiful]

Yes. And as a result, I don't know what's personal and what's not. Its awful.

 

[DZoolander]

Have the both of you actually filed for divorce - and how's that progressing?

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

Hey EZoo,

Nope, haven't filed yet. We signed a legal separation agreement, but it hasn't yet been filed either. Read "NOW he wants marriage counseling?" to find out why.

I am thinking that I will probably end up filing it in the next few weeks. I don't see the willingness to do what it takes to heal himself and this marriage. For now I'm just staying detached, and praying for him.

I was checking into Family Dynamics 3 day marriage weekend (for marriages in crisis), but I am not going to pursue it. At this point, I think it is important to let him make any moves toward fixing this rather than me doing it for him or telling him what he should do.

In other words - inertia.

 

[DZoolander]

Yeah - it's tough. I remember when I went through my divorce years ago - it was a really messed up time.

 

[LookBeautiful]

I filed for divorce, and have been divorced for over a year now.