Was it a miscarriage?

[shakenfruit]

I don't know. Because of childhood sexual abuse I've been almost entirely asexual in my adult life. I have had close encounters, with possible pre-come inside me, but not actual full-on, finished intercourse. I haven't been able to go that far. When I had this relationship, in which there was a possibility of pre-come being in me, I missed my period for three months (very unusual for me) and then I had an extremely heavy, extremely painful period for only two days. My period is usually not that heavy or painful, and lasts seven days. It got me thinking about what that might mean, whether maybe I was pregnant and miscarried. But I'm not sure, because I didn't take a pregnancy test. I don't know why I still think about it, it was ages ago. I just wish there was some way to know for sure.

 

[goldenviolet]

miscariages vary. some exsperiance what you discribe: but at three months that's too little of symptoms to sound like a miscariage. but there is no way to know. i don't think doctors could tell because it was too long ago. it sounds more like the symptoms of stress to me.
did you know that you can get pregnant under the circumstances you describe? even if a man pulls out at the actual moment his body releases sperm. i'm sorry for what you've been though. your stress is justified. if you need to talk, please pm me. xo dee

 

[shakenfruit]

Thank you, goldenviolet. You're right, at three months it probably wasn't a miscarriage. Though it was inordinately painful for a period, it wasn't painful enough to be a miscarriage. At least I hope it wasn't one. Quite possibly I missed those months because of substance abuse making me too thin. I don't know for sure.

 

[Jennkw21]

Unfortunately you will never know if you had a miscarriage or not. At least not now that you've gone without medical treatment. When is the last time you saw an OBGYN? I suggest making an appointment with one immediately.

 

[Lottedah]

You know your body better than we do.. if you felt it was a miscarriage perhaps it was. Don't let anyones skepticism even your own keep you from healing over this. And just so you know.. it is possible to get pregnant with just pre. Its happened before.

As far as the abuse goes.. sweetie give it over to God.. We were not meant to live with this kind of stress and trauma. I suggest an inner healing (christian) cd about binding the broken heart up by kathy and Gary oates. Shalom.

 

[JesusFreak2008]

Shaken Fruit,

First off, just know that I am not a medical doctor by any means, just have experienced symptoms of what you describe.

I'd like to first start off by saying that it is in fact true that you are the only person who knows your body better than any of us. If you feel it was a miscarriage, more then likely it was.

Secondly, since you brought up sexual abuse, I'd like to add some insight into this. When I was eight years old, my father raped me and got me pregnant. I had no idea until I went to the doctor for a physical examination and they started questioning me about who the father was. It was at that point I broke down and spoke about my rape. They investigated my father but did not arrest him right away. I got to 8 1/2 months into pregnancy when my father beat me, because the only way for them to know was when the baby was born. He beat me so badly that I delivered the infant a stillborn. It was a girl. They prosecuted my father, and I carried that burden with me for the rest of my life, knowing that he killed my child, who would be both my child and my sister. Then I could not bare the burden anymore and in 2006, I gave it up to god. I asked God to help me forgive this man, as the bible clearly states "Honor thy mother and thy father" and so I was finally able to go face to face with that man, and he admitted to me that he was ill and needed help. I felt relief. Now my father and I are not like father and daughter, but at least we can talk civilly. I can forgive him, but I do not have to like him. I'll pray for you and ask God to help you not harbor forgiveness toward that man that was ill and did what he did to you.

Lastly, when it comes to pre-cum. I'd like to just add that you can indeed get pregnant with Pre-cum. My Fiancee and I *father forgive me for admitting this* have sexual intercourse, and he also pulls out, but that has managed to get me pregnant four times. Three of those times I miscarried, and the fourth, I carried to Term. I was due on Sept. 11th of 2008, but I lost Kalleigh in June on the 15th of 2008. This is the strong fact that you can indeed get pregnant with pre-cum.

My Miscarraiges, I did not know at first they were miscarraiges. I thought they were a typical period, because I also suffer from Endometriosis and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, but what raised a red flag was on the 3ed day, I was bleeding through so many tampons that I started to feel like I was going to pass out. It was clotting bad. So my fiancee took me to the Emergency Room where they diagnosed me with a miscarraige. Some people here say that this might just be stress, but did you know that stress can also cause miscarraiges? I was 3 months pregnant and did not know it. The second time, I knew it because I had back pain that went all around, and I had originally thought it was a Urinary Tract Infection, so I once again was sent to the ER, and they diagnosed a miscarraige again. The third time, I just happened to be at my doctors office and they told me that it had looked like I was recently pregnant, and this raised a red flag to them, and they asked a bunch of questions and told me that I had miscarried based on my HX as well as the fact that I had lost all the signs that I had felt like I was pregnant (tender breasts, moodiness, lack of periods)

Now, for everyone a miscarraige is different. According to the American Pregnancy Association, a miscarraige is the following:

The reason for miscarriage is varied, and most often the cause cannot be identified. During the first trimester, the most common cause of miscarriage is chromosomal abnormality - meaning that something is not correct with the baby's chromosomes. Most chromosomal abnormalities are the cause of a faulty egg or sperm cell, or are due to a problem at the time that the zygote went through the division process. Other causes for miscarriage include (but are not limited to):

• Hormonal problems, infections or maternal health problems
• Lifestyle (i.e. smoking, drug use, malnutrition, excessive caffeine and exposure to radiation or toxic substances)
• Implantation of the egg into the uterine lining does not occur properly
• Maternal age
• Maternal trauma

Factors that are not proven to cause miscarriage are sex, working outside the home (unless in a harmful environment) or moderate exercise.



For women in childbearing years, the chances of having a miscarriage can range from 10-25%, and in most healthy women the average is about a 15-20% chance.

• An increase in maternal age affects the chances of miscarriage
• Women under the age of 35 yrs old have about a 15% chance of miscarriage
• Women who are 35-45 yrs old have a 20-35% chance of miscarriage
• Women over the age of 45 can have up to a 50% chance of miscarriage
• A woman who has had a previous miscarriage has a 25% chance of having another (only a slightly elevated risk than for someone who has not had a previous miscarriage)

If you experience any or all of these symptoms, it is important to contact your doctor or a medical facility to evaluate if you could be having a miscarriage:

• Mild to severe back pain (often worse than normal menstrual cramps)
• Weight loss
• White-pink mucus
• True contractions (very painful happening every 5-20 minutes)
• Brown or bright red bleeding with or without cramps (20-30% of all pregnancies can experience some bleeding in early pregnancy, with about 50% of those resulting in normal pregnancies)
• Tissue with clot like material passing from the vagina
• Sudden decrease in signs of pregnancy

Miscarriage is often a process and not a single event. There are many different stages or types of miscarriage. There is also a lot of information to learn about healthy fetal development so that you might get a better idea of what is going on with your pregnancy.



Most of the time all types of miscarriage are just called miscarriage, but you may hear your health care provider refer to other terms or names of miscarriage such as:


Threatened Miscarriage: Some degree of early pregnancy uterine bleeding accompanied by cramping or lower backache. The cervix remains closed. This bleeding is often the result of implantation.


Inevitable or Incomplete Miscarriage: Abdominal or back pain accompanied by bleeding with an open cervix. Miscarriage is inevitable when there is a dilation or effacement of the cervix and/or there is rupture of the membranes. Bleeding and cramps may persist if the miscarriage is not complete.


Complete Miscarriage: A completed miscarriage is when the embryo or products of conception have emptied out of the uterus. Bleeding should subside quickly, as should any pain or cramping. A completed miscarriage can be confirmed by an ultrasound or by having a surgical curettage performed.


Missed Miscarriage: Women can experience a miscarriage without knowing it. A missed miscarriage is when embryonic death has occurred but there is not any expulsion of the uterus. It is not known why this occurs. Signs of this would be a loss of pregnancy symptoms and the absence of fetal heart tones found on an ultrasound.


Recurrent Miscarriage (RM): Defined as 3 or more consecutive first trimester miscarriages. This can affect 1% of couples trying to conceive.


Blighted Ovum: Also called an anembryonic pregnancy. A fertilized egg implants into the uterine wall, but fetal development never begins. Often there is a gestational sac with or without a yolk sac, but there is an absence of fetal growth.


Ectopic Pregnancy: A fertilized egg implants itself in places other than the uterus, most commonly the fallopian tube. Treatment is needed immediately to stop the development of the implanted egg. If not treated rapidly, this could end in serious maternal complications.


Molar Pregnancy: The result of a genetic error during the fertilization process that leads to growth of abnormal tissue within the uterus. Molar pregnancies rarely involve a developing embryo, but often entail the most common symptoms of pregnancy including a missed period, positive pregnancy test and severe nausea.





I suffer from Recurrant Miscarraige.


The last thing I want to stress to you is to get checked by an OB/GYN because if this was not a miscarraige, then you may have had other issues going on, such as Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, or it could just simply be stress.


Hope this helps you!


Best of luck if you are trying to concieve.


A_M

 

[lizadeller]

Hi Shaken Fruit,

My all sympathy with you. You told all this here it's really scary for any girl. I really hat your father. I want to says that you are very strong. You share the information about the miscarriage is really useful. Thanks for sharing that, it was wonderful of you.