Was I Selfish?

[akim3579]

I'm going through a rough spot in my life and made a decision to join a church (Baptist) that my father attends. The thing is my girlfriend of 3 years is Catholic. We have only attended church once together and that was at the same church i'm attending to bring in the new year in 2005. Our realtionship has taken a turn for the worse and don't know what to do. I hope to marry her aswell. Should i stop going to this church and join a non-denomination church that we both can attend? (She wont attend this church with me because i joined without informing her) It was due to the ongoing situation in my life and i was full of anxiety, regret, and guilt. Did I make a rash decision (She is aware of the circumstance in my life). I didnt know what to do or where to turn. I need some good christian advice please.

Thank You

 

[ashley lynne]

Well, if you plan on marrying her you should definitely inform her if you're planning on attending a different church. Tell he when you're having anxiety and try to talk to her about it. I'm sure she's concerned.
My fiance is Catholic and I'm Presbyterian. We, together, attend my Presbyterian Church. We tried both his church and my church out several times and then finally decided on my church. If I were you, I'd sit down with her and ask her if you two could try out both your church and her church together and then try out a non-denominational church out together. If you're planning on marrying her you two shouldn't be hiding things from each other...such as the church you're attending. Try talking to her; maybe your relationship hasn't taken a turn for the worst.
I'd try that out.

Good luck! Let me know how it goes.

 

[MrsSeptemberPenguin]

Well, if you plan on marrying her you should definitely inform her if you're planning on attending a different church. Tell he when you're having anxiety and try to talk to her about it. I'm sure she's concerned.
My fiance is Catholic and I'm Presbyterian. We, together, attend my Presbyterian Church. We tried both his church and my church out several times and then finally decided on my church. If I were you, I'd sit down with her and ask her if you two could try out both your church and her church together and then try out a non-denominational church out together. If you're planning on marrying her you two shouldn't be hiding things from each other...such as the church you're attending. Try talking to her; maybe your relationship hasn't taken a turn for the worst.
I'd try that out.

Good luck! Let me know how it goes.

Good advice. You have to talk to her. While you may consider yourself selfish, you aren't really. You want to attend church somewhere that you can grow in your relationship with Christ. You really do need to talk to her though, and that probably is where your mistake came in. Pray about it, and talk to her!

 

[TransformedByGrace]

It's important, if you plan on marrying her, to communicate about things in your life with her. This is part of loving her in the way that God commands a husband to love his wife. Even though you aren't yet married, it is important to practice this type of love towards her, since it takes forever to get right I still mess up too often in this area, and I've been married for awhile.
You will find that she will follow her role to submit to you without even mentioning it when you love her (your role) by communicating often about everything.
I think her problem with your choice to go to your father's church wasn't because it's Baptist, it's because she was left out of the loop. She probably hasn't forgiven you for doing that and it reminds her of being left out when she is asked to attend that church with you.
You may find that apologizing for leaving her out of the decision and promising to be more sensitive to her needs and more open with her when you want to change something in your life, is all that's needed to repair the hurt feelings and start fresh.
Remember, because she is such a large part of your life, the decisions that you make affect her just as much as they do you. In this case, your decision wasn't to go to another church, it was to leave her out.

 

[barefeetonholyground]

Keep in mind that your relationship with Christ is far more important than your relationship with her. Find a place where you can both grow in your faith together.