Was I Selfish?

[akim3579]

I'm going through a rough spot in my life and made a decision to join a church (Baptist) that my father attends. The thing is my girlfriend of 3 years is Catholic. We have only attended church once together and that was at the same church i'm attending to bring in the new year in 2005. Our realtionship has taken a turn for the worse and don't know what to do. I hope to marry her aswell. Should i stop going to this church and join a non-denomination church that we both can attend? (She wont attend this church with me because i joined without informing her) It was due to the ongoing situation in my life and i was full of anxiety, regret, and guilt. Did I make a rash decision (She is aware of the circumstance in my life). I didnt know what to do or where to turn. I need some good christian advice please.

Thank You

 

[LilLamb219]

WHAT do you believe?

Obviously, Baptists and Catholics differ a great deal on beliefs.

She believes in the sacraments and you do not. Do you plan on having kids when you marry? If so, it will only cause more heated arguments as she will want them baptized as infants and you will not.
You really need to sit down and go through beliefs together.

 

[Praising4eva]

Well, if she is committed to the Catholic faith, you are going to need to get married in a Catholic church, get a dispensation from the Bishop to marry (if you are not Catholic) and promise to raise any children you may have Catholic. What will she think of going non-denominational? Is the thing that she is Catholic and wants to be Catholic or will she be open to going to a non-denominational church?

Did you just up and change church? You're going to have to communicate more if you are going to get married.

Only you two can sort this out between you but you need to know where she stands with her faith and whether attending the Catholic church is a denominational commitment or if she isn't fussed on denomination.

Maybe you could ask her if she'll come to your new church just once and if she doesn't like it, you'll both find somewhere that you are both happy with? Just an idea.

 

[setmeonfire]

stick with the baptist church. if she is mad because your not Catholic thats garbage. unless the baptist church is preaching NON-biblical teachings stick with it, trust me......

 

[bliz]

Is she unwilling to go with you because it's a Baptist church or because you did not inform her of your decision to join a church? Either way, her reaction seems a bit over the top - to never attend.

Is it your expectation that you will both attend this church after you are married? It does seem a bit inappropriate to come to that conslusion without discussing it with her.

Coming from a Catholic background, assuming she feels like she belongs in the Catholic church, a Baptist church is a pretty long stretch... If you are looking for a church where you can both be comfortable, you might try Episcopal or Lutheran or even Presbyterian.

 

[AbelieverinGod]

Well, I must say, I'm baptist.
And I also must say I do not agree at all with Catholic teachings.
Just don't tune out! I think I have good recomendations. I actually wrote something on this recently.
Here it is.

Now your task is to grow spiritually in Him. You can do this by praying, reading the Bible, fellowship with other Christians, and in many sects, believer’s baptism. All four of these are your own decisions and commitments. Reading the Bible is God’s Word, so it gives you an insight into God’s personality, character, and actions. Fellowship with other Christians can come from going to Church. There are many sects of Christianity. I want to not be biased, but there are some I do not agree with, period. I refuse to list some that differ greatly from my belief. If you would like an insight into my beliefs, I’ll put a section saying such at the end of this book. Here are the ones I will side with.

Baptist – “Fundamental Baptists”, Symbolic, Bible all truth, Baptism step of Obedience (once), I am proudly in this sect.

Lutheran – Less symbolic, more involved, Bible all truth, Baptism as a child, Jesus ultimate mediator between us and God.

Methodist – No strict rules in communion or baptism, Jesus mediator, Bible all truth, Baptism only once.

The ones I do not approve of are: Mormons (Jesus Christ’s Church of Latter Day Saints), Episcopalians, Catholics, Church of Christ, and many other off-base religions. I am sorry if you believe in these and I offend you, I am just trying to offer up my opinion based on what God’s word tells me. I would not have anything to do with the pagan religions. Do not go with a church that does not believe that Jesus Christ died for our sins because the Bible says, “For of what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: That Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures.” Do not go with the church that does not believe that Jesus is the connection between us and God, “For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people.” – Hebrews 3:17. Do not go with a church that does not believe there is a hell or punishment, “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” – Matthew 10:28. Do not stay with a church if it adds or subtracts to the Bible; “I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy in this book: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add him to the plagues described in this book. And if anyone takes words away from this book of prophesy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life in the holy city, which are described in this book.” – Revelation 22:18 – 19, “Do not add to what I command you and do not subtract from it, but keep the commands of the Lord your God that I give you.” – Deuteronomy 4:2, “See that you do all that I command you; do not add to it or take away from it.” – Deuteronomy 12:32. There are also those churches that are non-denominational, but those vary with the church, so be cautious, and grade them on the points I gave you. I also do not agree with those who try to avoid teaching the Bible.

Useful at all? I hope.

I'll pray it will turn out okay.

 

[Elijah2]

It's sad that so many wars have been declared because of relgiousity, and dogma.

There is only one church, and the is the Church of our Lord Jesus Christ.

All the rest is written in Colossians 2:8, have read of it.

Mate, the only one who are suppose to please is our Lord Jesus Christ not some pharisee.

 

[FallingWaters]

I'm going through a rough spot in my life and made a decision to join a church (Baptist) that my father attends. The thing is my girlfriend of 3 years is Catholic. We have only attended church once together and that was at the same church i'm attending to bring in the new year in 2005. Our relationship has taken a turn for the worse and don't know what to do. I hope to marry her as well. Should i stop going to this church and join a non-denomination church that we both can attend? (She wont attend this church with me because i joined without informing her) It was due to the ongoing situation in my life and i was full of anxiety, regret, and guilt. Did I make a rash decision (She is aware of the circumstance in my life). I didnt know what to do or where to turn. I need some good christian advice please.

Thank You

This is an interesting situation.
I agree that she seems to be over-reacting.
There must be some underlying reason to explain her stubbornness.

Does she attend Catholic church every Sunday?
And you have not been attending a church?
And now you just up and joined a church?
Perhaps she had been secretly hoping you would join her church?
(I do not recommend becoming a Catholic.)

Did she say you were "selfish" to do that?

I wouldn't doubt if you did make a "rash decision" since you say you were full of anxiety, regret and guilt.
We rarely make good decisions in that condition.

Try to get at the bottom of why she's really upset with you.

By the way, it is a fact of human nature that
usually what we accuse others of,
we are guilty of ourselves.

Not every accusation is accurate.

 

[synger]

I agree with some of the other posters, that you probably need to sit down with her and talk it out. Like you, my husband is Baptist and I was raised Presbyterian. Still pretty different in some basic doctrines.

What helped us a LOT is a workbook called Before You Say I Do. Sure, it talked a lot about things like how we plan to divide work around the house, how we plan to deal with children, and money,and things like that. But beyond those details, it really got us TALKING. It was the first time we really talked about our family backgrounds -- what was important and emphasized in his family, what were the expectations in mine. What of those traditions did we hope to bring into our own family? And, of course, it talks about finding a church for your family -- what is important to each partner, and how to find a church that teaches the Truth and fulfills your needs.

Even if you don't do all the exercises, it can be a real conversation starter. It really helped us get ready for marriage.

 

[FallingWaters]

Sound like a great idea.!

When my husband and I were engaged we attended an Engaged Encounter weekend.
That was helpful toward the same end of bringing up subjects people forget to discuss ahead of time.

 

[spr]

Whatever you do know that there is no Church that can keep you out of hell, and you will be judged for the things you choose. Choose wisely.

Php 2:12 Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.