was i raped?

[BelindaP]

I don't think that is true. You had been so beaten down by him, that by the time he raped you, I doubt that you had the will to fight him off.

You don't have to fight for your very life for it to be called rape. All you have to do is say 'no'. Anything else he does after that is against your will. If he were any kind of man, he would have respected you and stopped. I am so thankful that you were able to get away from his evil influence.

No, it was not your fault that he raped you. Men like that look for women that they can control, and that is what he did to you. You certainly would not have chosen to have sex if you had the free choice. For that reason, I would call what he did rape.

 

[PacificPandeist]

so.. it was rape? is it my fault? i mean.. i could've stopped him..

Yes, it was rape; no, it was NOT your fault; and no, you should not even think whether you could have stopped him.... he controlled his own actions, he chose to do whatever he did.... I know it's easy to imagine that something you could have done would have prevented him, but for anything you might have done there is some other act he might have done to bring about the same result-- so you are not to blame!!

//// Pacific PanDeist

 

[redridinghood]

i feel really stupid for not doing something about it , i screwed up so many things for myself..
what makes me feel even more foolish was that i didnt even know it was this bad at the time, i didnt even know i was being raped..

 

[redridinghood]

i feel so disgusted and sick and scared and angry...

 

[Steezie]

so.. it was rape? is it my fault? i mean.. i could've stopped him..

Its never a good idea to blame yourself. You could have fought him, yes, but doing so would have probably resulted in him seriously physically hurting you.

You share no responsibility in the actions of annother in this regard

 

[Steezie]

i feel really stupid for not doing something about it , i screwed up so many things for myself..
what makes me feel even more foolish was that i didnt even know it was this bad at the time, i didnt even know i was being raped..

Very few people do. Your mind will rationalize negative experiences. "Well...its not that bad, he's my boyfriend." Especially if its something you've never delt with before.

This doesnt mean you did anything wrong or failed to do anything

 

[BelindaP]

Your feelings are perfectly normal for what you have been through. Just try to turn them toward your attacker and not toward yourself. Jesus sees you as a wounded child of God. All He want to do right now is hold you in His arms and tell you that it will be OK.

God has justice reserved for the man who did this to you. If he does not pay in this world, he will definitely pay in the next.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

.

 

[redridinghood]

thankyou.
my brother has got me to wake up early every morning and pray with him. he has also got me to see a counsellor, a very nice lady who deals with such things and she also had a lot to do with my baptism, whom i have been visiting the last few days, and will continue to share with her. and he also arranged for me to get a blood test for HIV, which was negative, praise God.
it got a bit more shocking for me now that i know it was rape, but i know though i may hate the guy that did this, that someday i will learn to forgive him through the grace and healing that Jesus has promised and blessed me.
please pray for me.

 

[LazeyWinde]

*Hugs* You're in my prayers Red.