Wanting to make thing Better

[yungtryn2makeit]

I have a story to tell...I will try to make it short to the best of my ability.

About a month ago, I left/was kicked out of my mother's home. Me and my mother have been at it for a very long time now... It probaly started about a year and a half ago. I had a girlfriend and she lived with a cousin of hers. Previously she was in foster care. She felt it was in her best interest to leave her cousins house b/c of mistreatment. There was a lady that she went to church with that took her in to her house. The problem was that the lady had a son, and awhile back him and my girlfriend used to have a thing about a couple of months before we hooked up. It took me along time to get over the fact that she lived there. But I cared about her and i wanted to be there for her. When I told my mother...she just turned on her, she aint want me calling there, using her car to see her or anything. Which I had no problem before hand.....Then there was an issue of me quiting my job. I believe I had a valid reason of quiting. From that she told me she not giving me any money and wont do for me.."Let me remind u I just turned 17" at that time I was 16 working. She took my phone,and did everything to make it hard on me. After awhile I started not to care....I would just leave and go see her or just go across the street to use the phone. She made it seem to the rest of my family like I am a problem child.Everything I told her, she didnt believe me. I didnt feel like I needed to prove myself to my own mother so i didnt attempt to. We would constantly agrue about every lil thing. About a month ago I moved out, and into a friends house with his mother. Since I been living here...things have been alright. I recently started to work and i'm carrying my own weight around here. I am going good.Thanksgiving just passed and I went to my grandmothers house, she was there and my 2 lil brothers. It feels weird. Its funny how nothing was there...no conversation, just nothing...the person that brought me up. Seems like she was nothing to me. I think about calling her...but i dont have anything to say.She put me in a hard situation. I went a month w/o a dime, i had very few clothes, i had senior fees to pay, and she left me to dry like that. I admit I made some mistakes...alot but I acknowledged them. She feels like she is right in everyway and doesnt have any faults. Christmas is coming up and I would really like to be with my family but I really dont know how to go about it.Sometimes i wish i still lived there..but i think things will still be the same.I ask for everyones prayers, and comments

Thank You

 

[GraftMeIn]

I will pray that You and your Mom will be able to patch things up. Don't be afraid to pick up the phone and call her, I'm sure she's just as worried about things as you are.

 

[fieldmouse3]

I prayed!

 

[jayebrownlee]

I will pray for you but I want to share something with you too.

I also moved out of home at 17 (as you will be able to tell by looking to the left of this post you will see that I am now 20), I also do not get on with my parents, well my mother, with me it is also because of my choice of partner, I also want to make things better.

My mother turned her back on me when I made a decision that she disapproved of. She had nothing to do with me and tried to stop my Dad seeing me to, and pretty much succeeded. I thought that I would just shut her out of my life, "I don't need her anyway" I would be heard to say. I still believe I don't need her, but I'll tell you something, I sure do want her. I managed to live without her for a year and then it got too much for me and I had to get in touch, it had been so long though, what would I say? I had left it so long that it was hard, and now three years on we do speak, but not often and when we do we argue, we don't really know each other anymore because we left it so long.

I appeal to you not to make the same mistake I did, phone her and let her know that you still love her and want her to be part of your life. I'm not saying it will be easy and I am not saying it will be fun, but it is better in the long run, if you do truly want her to be part of your life ever again.

However, I am not trying to make your decision for you, I am only trying to tell you how it worked out for me.

Your sister in Christ

Jay

 

[Blessed-one]

i agree with Jay, it won't hurt to let her know your feelings, better say it now or never.... (having regrets about it later.......)

i'm praying for you and your mother.

 

[Buggyman]

I'm speaking from the other end..  As a Father.

We as parents try hard to do what we think is right. We're not perfect and yes sometimes we are stubborn.

When My 19 year old daughter was 17.. she moved out as well. Reason? she couldn't live with our rules. But we felt like they we're good rules.
Even though she moved out.. we kept in contact with her. We told her we Love her and that the door was open any time she wanted to move back. But she enjoyed that freedom. The offer still stands today. She now calls her daddy almost every day.
So let me say this.. Yes it is hard to live under Parents Roof.
Let me suggest this.. By all means keep in contact with her. Yes there will be bitterness at first but keep it cordial and short. She is your Mother.. and Womens have an emotional attachment to their Children. In due time she'll come around. And maintain contact with your Dad. I know he'll appreciate hearing from you.
I'm sure there are things running through her mind right now.
Anyway.. Just a "Hi Mom! I'm calling you to say Hi and to let you Know I'm fine" and the Ice will melt from there.

Your Brother In Christ
Buggy
PS.. I'm Praying also.

 

[jayebrownlee]

Thank you buggyman,

Jay

 

[wvmtnkid]

Great advice so far! I'll pray for your relationship with your mom and that God will give you the courage to make that first step!