wanting to drink

Lily76_ · Mar 14, 2011

Am wanting to drink right now ...my husband is talking me out of it at the moment but i still want to get some .
I havent had any in monthss and because it coming up for st patricks day i feel i need to drink more st patricks day is mine and my husband anniversary 4 years of marriage witch is great and am happy about but its seems like we are not celebrating it much because i cant go out much due to social anxiety. i think that i should drink on our anniversary and i want to start drinking now .
i want some drink for tonight but it's getting later and the shop that sells it stops selling it in about 20 mins time and it takes about 10 mins to get there so am trying to hold of till it 10 pm
Tomorrow will be harder because i will have all day to want drink.
My husband said that the drink wont help me and that it will mess up my meds that i am on but part of me dont really care about that at all
i just want to get drunk and drink as much as i can
I am stressed at the moment with things going on in my family and things going on in my own head.
I try and talk to my husband about it but i dont know what to say i feel i cant get it out by writing it down rather than say it to my husband
but i feel bad about that as well i should be talking to him about this
I use to go to AA meeting a few years ago but cant go on my own due to social anxiety and i dont think i can deal with a room full of people at the moment will makes me paranoid as well
its 9 mind until the shop shut there is no way am making it there for drink now
will have to see what tomorrow brings

madison1101 · Mar 14, 2011

Are you in therapy for the social anxiety? Do you see a psychiatrist and therapist who help you with it? If not, then you should. Using it as an excuse to get help for your alcoholism is one thing, but not to treat it is another. There are exercises you can do to overcome it, which should help you tremendously. You have to talk to a therapist to learn those coping exercises to overcome the anxiety.

You can still work the 12 Steps of AA without going to meetings. It is still possible to work the steps and get rid of the obsession to drink, but you must do the footwork.

www.aa.org is a great place to statt.
Hugs,
Trish

Lily76_ · Mar 15, 2011

I did see someone for a little while who was trying to help me with my social anxiety but after a while we kept going over the same things over and over that was my CPN.
I was on Valium for my social anxiety but i cant take it for long because it's addictive. so i have been taken off them now.
My social anxiety is really bad at the moment i get very paranoid around people i dont know thinking there going to hurt me or something.
I hear voices as well and they say that people are going to attack me every time am out i cant go anywhere with out my husband .

I looked at the AA site and it is really helpful thank you for the link.
Am going to take it one day at a time ...see if i can get through the next 24 hours and then will see what happens then.

Divinah · Mar 15, 2011

Hi Willow, Just wondering how you are doing? I hope to hear you held out. I've been sober nearly seven years now. I think the more time you have invested, the more valuable your sobriety becomes and the more strongly you feel about 'NOT' giving that over to ANYONE, especially the enemy. Praise God for your sobriety...even if you did slip...pick right up and persevere. I think most people who slip...crash and burn over the dissapointment and guilt...if you slip...just get right back up and move forward...God's Grace

Lily76_ · Mar 15, 2011

Not doing so good i didnt drink but i ended up cutting instead ( i self injure )
keep thinking about drink all the time want it so much also want to be high on something because am feeling so low at the moment.
i know that drinking is a depressant and will make things worse for me but i feel i need it just now.

madison1101 · Mar 16, 2011

XWillowX said:
I did see someone for a little while who was trying to help me with my social anxiety but after a while we kept going over the same things over and over that was my CPN.
I was on Valium for my social anxiety but i cant take it for long because it's addictive. so i have been taken off them now.
My social anxiety is really bad at the moment i get very paranoid around people i dont know thinking there going to hurt me or something.
I hear voices as well and they say that people are going to attack me every time am out i cant go anywhere with out my husband .

I looked at the AA site and it is really helpful thank you for the link.
Am going to take it one day at a time ...see if i can get through the next 24 hours and then will see what happens then.

If you are hearing voices, you need to see a psychiatrist for that. Many people who hear voices, and have social anxiety self-medicate with alcohol, instead of getting the professional help they need. Certain meds can help you with both of those problems.

I used to cut as well. It is all part of my package of mental health issues/addictions. The more sobriety I have, the less the urge to cut.

Stay safe and call a psychiatrist for those auditory hallucinations.

Hugs,
Trish

JaneFW · Mar 16, 2011

I'm praying for you Willow. Don't give up - there is hope. I drank from the age of 17 until (almost) 5 years ago, when I was 43. I have not drank since, and I never will again, and it's a God thing 100%. Whenever I get tempted, something comes along to remind me that I simply cannot, that it will never be just one drink - not for me, ever. Hold close to Christ. Call on Him. When your mind starts to focus on drink, find a scripture to study, or pray for someone else who you love, or take a walk, or call a friend. These are good ways to at least start to work out a freedom from alcohol.

I understand that St. Patrick's Day is a trigger, as is your wedding anniversary, but if you can get over those triggers once, you can start to see that a trigger is just a trigger - and it can be overcome.

Prayers.

Divinah · Mar 16, 2011

Glad you havent had a drink. I hope you will follow some of the advice here and see someone for help with the cutting and whatever social anxieties are your triggers for BOTH cutting and drinking. It does sound like drinking is a method of self medication. YOU NEED and deserve relief and cannot risk taking it into your own hands with alcohol. You're anniversary can be put aside, kept private with you and hubby...whatever it takes to keep you in peace...

RuthD · Mar 20, 2011

Not drinking is easiest at One Day at a Time dear. Praying to keep sober will help tremendously. Best wishes to you.

Divinah · Mar 21, 2011

Hope the ANNIVERSARY was BLESSED!

Lily76_ · Mar 22, 2011

got through my anniversary ok am going to AA meetings now and getting help

madison1101 · Mar 22, 2011

XWillowX said:
got through my anniversary ok am going to AA meetings now and getting help

Praise the Lord. How do you feel?

Trish

Lily76_ · Mar 25, 2011

At the moment i feel like i need to drink but i haven't been going to AA meetings every day and its helping so much.
I dont really speak much there but i listen to people talking about there drinking and feelings

madison1101 · Apr 2, 2011

murphy12 said:
Hello,
If you want to drink than there is no problem. You can take alcohol in limited dose. Limited dose of whiskey is really best for health.

thanks!!

That is the most dangerous advice to give an alcoholic. An alcoholic cannot have a limited dose of alcohol. It eventually becomes unstoppable and insatiable cravings. Do not post on here that kind of advice to someone who is trying to stop drinking. Alcoholism kills people, and you really need to learn a thing or two about this topic if you are going to post here.

wanting to drink

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