Wanting to be accepted/be like the other guys

[Lion52]

I've prayed for God to send me the right woman or at least to start dating but so far this semester it hasn't happend like I thought it would now that i've given up porn and i'm starting to get discouraged. I see some of the other guy's that are tall an athletic an it makes me think I want to be like them cause they get the girls an now I think the devil has put into my mind that i'm not good enough. I look at my height, weight an it's not like those guy's an It makes me self councious. I want to be so much like them/accepted by people that it's made me like them (not like in a gay way) but in a "I like that guy; he's what I want to be" type of way. I know i'm good enough but why does the devil attack liek that after i've already prayed? Also the "I like him, it's wht I want to be" Is not a gay feeling right? I'm just so confused on why datings not happend for me yet

 

[raven1]

I think you need to just give yourself some pep talks. Like Godloves me. I am good enough etc.

 

[MDCSWildcats86]

It's good that you have turned your back on porn/cybersex etc.

I never dated when I was a teen, as the high school I attended (a non-denominational Christian school) discouraged dating.

I'm 45 now, and still single. If a wife comes to me, fine. If not, fine.
Remember, Jeremiah was COMMANDED not to marry (Jer 16:1), and he turned out OK.

 

[RuthD]

Just be yourself. You don't have to be like anyone else. Someone will love you for who you are. There is someone for everyone. I think you need to seek counseling for your self esteem and tips on how to date and meet women. The best of luck to you. You are in my prayers. God bless you.

 

[Johnnz]

Stop waiting for God to 'send you' someone. Instead, don't apologise for being you, get out and interact with good people, develop a healthy lifestyle and set out to become a great guy that is you, not some image you try to emulate.

John
NZ

 

[Lion52]

Thanks; It's just a post I saw on twitter this past week was pretty hurtful. This girl was like "all the guy's at this school are short; we're the tall guy's at" an it made me feel like I wasn't any good. Then I see these football and basketball players an they're tall and athletic an it's like wow wish I could be like him. Did anyone in the bible feel that "defeated spirit" an God did something an gave a breakthrough?

 

[Lion52]

It really is like Forrest gump said "..college was confusing times" It truely has been. I never had these questions or thoughts about life like dating in stuff when I was in high school an now all of a sudden i'm thinking about my future, a wife and family and it's kinda weird for me to think all this stuff at 20 yrs old

 

[EmeraldRadiance]

Yeah college is a tough time and many people fall away from God due to influence of others. My friend did and it's been rough for me because it was my best friend.

I'm glad you got away from the porno. Your future Christian wife will appreciate that so much. Porn really disrupts marriages and it's something I'm concerned about. I don't ever want to deal with that issue.

Anyway don't lose heart~ Keep God close and live by his principles no matter how good the temptations seem at the time or what other people say. That's what I did growing up and it kept me from doing a lot of stupid things.

 

[loveinvasion]

No, that's not gay, and let me give you some wisdom. Remember how JESUS casted out demoms and people accused HIM of casting out demons by the power of darkness, and JESUS said a kingdom divided wont stand. satan hates all men, but he hates Christians most bc they are doing GOD's will. JESUS warned you about all of this so you wouldn't be suprised John 16:33 " THESE THINGS I HAVE SPOKEN UNTO YOU, THAT IN ME YE MIGHT HAVE PEACE, IN THE WORLD YE SHALL HAVE TRIBULATION: BUT BE OF GOOD CHEER; I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD." So expect being afflicted by satan, you'll make it out. And be patient, and dont envy other guys bc that is a sin,its fruits of the flesh Galatians 5:21<Staff Edit>

 

[transparentthought13]

Just from a super practical standpoint, start hitting the gym regularly if you don't already. I was having the same thoughts a couple years back, the "I'm not good enough," "He looks incredible; why can't I be like that?" "I wish I was him" sort of stuff, and spending regular time in the gym helped incredibly with those temptations. I feel so much better, and, even though it took a couple years, I look a lot better too. Kind of the realization of "Oh.....I guess I can actually look like some of those guys."

Spend quality time in the Word. Realize that the Lord made you who you are for a reason. Pray. If you're pinning after a wife, pray about it. Ask the Lord to provide a woman for you. Obviously, it's not going to happen instantaneously, but scripture tells us that God will not withhold something good from us. If you're not married yet, it means He has more stuff for you to learn while single. Take advantage of the time and abilities you have now as a single guy. Don't waste the opportunities you have.

Prayin' for you, man! You're not the only one going through this; God's growing each of us through the stuff He puts in our paths


James