Wanting a baby!!!!

[chocolateloverjen]

I know you will all probably think im an idiot for having the following feelings after you've read this, but i truly cant help it and i hate myself for these feelings i have:

Im still really brudey , ive been having nightmares and i have been having dreams lately. Nightmares: car crash with my boyfriend. Dreams: of giving birth and just going to the shops and buying baby clothes for my new born baby.
If i put these together im obviously thinking im going to drive away my boyfriend from wanting a baby so much. But its so aweful, ive tried to stop these feelings but they just wont go.
I even have hatred and anger towards my boyfriends brother and his girlfriend because they are having a baby (due in April next year) it just feels like they're rubbing it in (when they dont even know though). I mean they're not married and my boyfriends parents are nice to her, sometimes they are mean to me (i must say they are truly better than what they where like). It just makes me angry- i found out im allowed to be called Auntie Jenny (i wanted to be in the first place because Ric and i are longterm) and when i heard i was like YAYYYYYYYY!!! But then i was like, i know im going to be worse when i get to babysit and watch Ric feed the baby and things.

Please pray for me, that God will take away the feelings im having, of hatred, anger, wanting, etc.

Please if anyone can help with advice or anything or if anyone feels the same way then please reply. i would love to hear.

[facts you might want to know: 1.My boyfriend and i are in a longdistant relationship.so we talk alot on the phone and from that we know each other really deeply and we are completely honest with each other. 2.We have been together a year, 3 months, 1 week and 3 days (just incase you really wanted to know). 3.He wants to wait, which i can do but am finding it hard.]

 

[baby030306]

I know exactally how u feel, I was feeling the same way for a long time, but now I am 23 weeks pregnant,was in a longterm relationship now all alone and have to deal with my actions I thought it would be great and everything but its not I wish I would have waited so my suggestion to u is talk to someone before it overwelms ur thoughts so much to the point to were u do things to not prevent pregnancy. Thats if you guys have already had sex and if u dont have sex my suggestion is not to. Im telling u this all from my personal exsperience though others may have a better one

 

[chocolateloverjen]

I know exactally how u feel, I was feeling the same way for a long time, but now I am 23 weeks pregnant,was in a longterm relationship now all alone and have to deal with my actions I thought it would be great and everything but its not I wish I would have waited so my suggestion to u is talk to someone before it overwelms ur thoughts so much to the point to were u do things to not prevent pregnancy. Thats if you guys have already had sex and if u dont have sex my suggestion is not to. Im telling u this all from my personal exsperience though others may have a better one

I cant believe that, are you going to be bringing up your child on your own then? the father having no interest? you dont have to say.
I know that my bf and i are going to last forever. We have said loads about the future. We are both christians (of course) and we are both commiting our lives to each other. We arnt rushing anything (so im not like getting pregnant now- allthough i would love to) we re waiting till its the right time, he isnt ready and i suppose im not in my heart. Same with marriage, we are waiting until its the right time yet. Thats because we want our friends and FAMILY to approve of us and give us their blessing.
I know im with the right guy, ,
I hope you do ok. Im amazed about what you said though.
God Bless you and your little one in their
Jenny
xxx

 

[Leanna]

I'm sorry, I will try not to be too harsh.

But come on... you have no idea what you are talking about! Your boyfriend and you are going to last forever? Darling at your age I had a boyfriend for two years and I thought we would last forever too, but statistics show otherwise. Everyone thinks they will be together forever. Chances are you won't, and if you will, then why on earth would you want to bring a baby in at the worst time for the baby? You need to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about this hypothetical baby. You bring a baby in the world, you have no money, no future for it.... then what?

He/she cries all night, needing to be fed every 3 hours. For the first 4 days of my son's life I got 5 hours of sleep total. It is all work, and those people who say "awww cute baby" ? They aren't there at 3am. Going out to buy baby clothes after the baby's birth? Yeah right, I wasn't allowed to drive a car for 2 weeks.

Most young guys aren't ready for a baby and you increase the chance that you will have your boyfriend break up with you increase A LOT. Then you are alone with a baby, .... then what? You get a full time job to support the child while putting him/her in day care. You work hard all day, go pick up your baby, see him/her for 2 hours and then its bedtime. Go to sleep, wake up, work all over again.

Reality check... you are NOT ready for a baby. This is not a picnic or a cute fest. This is a real job and real work and your boyfriend's brother is going to realize this soon enough.... pregnancy is the easy part. People think you're cute.

Something else to consider. You only have a cute baby for a year. Then no one pays you much mind.

Anyway i wouldn't be so harsh except this is your second thread on this topic and so you're obviously serious about it..... I can't tell you how much you would regret having a baby at this point......

 

[baby030306]

just be very carefull, me and my "babys daddy" were in a relationship for 3 years and of course to me he was everything and I knew we were going to be together forever well forever lasted until he found someone better which was right after i got pregnant before he even knew. it just all got messed up really messed up now we dont talk only like once a month and then the only thing i get to hear about is his wounderful new girl friend.

I just hope u stay smart enough to wait for even sex and just forget about having a baby

(oh and he was my first I was his first and that still didnt even keep us together)

 

[Leanna]

just be very carefull, me and my "babys daddy" were in a relationship for 3 years and of course to me he was everything and I knew we were going to be together forever well forever lasted until he found someone better which was right after i got pregnant before he even knew. it just all got messed up really messed up now we dont talk only like once a month and then the only thing i get to hear about is his wounderful new girl friend.

I just hope u stay smart enough to wait for even sex and just forget about having a baby

(oh and he was my first I was his first and that still didnt even keep us together)

That's hard I hope he is a Christian and will at least be a decent enough person to be a father for the baby. Make sure you get legal child support so you can take good care of your child. Even if he decides to be a creep rather than doing the right thing, you can still be an awesome mother and give your child a great start

 

[chocolateloverjen]

I'm sorry, I will try not to be too harsh.

But come on... you have no idea what you are talking about! Your boyfriend and you are going to last forever? Darling at your age I had a boyfriend for two years and I thought we would last forever too, but statistics show otherwise. Everyone thinks they will be together forever. Chances are you won't, and if you will, then why on earth would you want to bring a baby in at the worst time for the baby? You need to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about this hypothetical baby. You bring a baby in the world, you have no money, no future for it.... then what?

He/she cries all night, needing to be fed every 3 hours. For the first 4 days of my son's life I got 5 hours of sleep total. It is all work, and those people who say "awww cute baby" ? They aren't there at 3am. Going out to buy baby clothes after the baby's birth? Yeah right, I wasn't allowed to drive a car for 2 weeks.

Most young guys aren't ready for a baby and you increase the chance that you will have your boyfriend break up with you increase A LOT. Then you are alone with a baby, .... then what? You get a full time job to support the child while putting him/her in day care. You work hard all day, go pick up your baby, see him/her for 2 hours and then its bedtime. Go to sleep, wake up, work all over again.

Reality check... you are NOT ready for a baby. This is not a picnic or a cute fest. This is a real job and real work and your boyfriend's brother is going to realize this soon enough.... pregnancy is the easy part. People think you're cute.

Something else to consider. You only have a cute baby for a year. Then no one pays you much mind.

Anyway i wouldn't be so harsh except this is your second thread on this topic and so you're obviously serious about it..... I can't tell you how much you would regret having a baby at this point......

Well ill tell you something,,,

I was raped when i was 15 i hated men. I nearly commited suicide but God stopped me right on the second i was about to jump of the edge of a bridge. I went back to church and got my faith back i still hated men sooo much i couldnt forigive this person i knew all my life (HEwho did it) and i thought he was my best friend. It took me agis to actually talk to guys again and every boyfriend i had ever had was non-christian. Out of the blue i met a christian guy and yes we got together. He knows what ive been through and it took us agis to over come what i had.
He loves me so dearly and so loveignly.
Ask him yourslef (username 'baggy'). He knows i want a baby, and i know we arnt going to gave one for a while because we are not ready. We are going to wait until we can support a child financialy and loveingly like good parents.
I asked for help and advice not your opinion on how lopng our relationship is going to lastt./ We are engaged and we are commited to one another.
Just shatter my dreams for me why dont you.
Thanks

sorry if im a bit harsh but i felt like your a bit harsh.

 

[Athene]

Chocolatelover, if you only wanted the advice of people who are going to pat you on the shoulder and say "aaww I understand" then maybe you should have put that on the OP.

Leannas advice was sound, and what she said was all true. I would know, I was a mother at 18.

 

[chocolateloverjen]

Leanne and i have discussed in pm's about it.

ive seen another side to christianity and i dont like it.

i was in a situation where non-christians where nicer then christians. - longstory- and i feel some people are like this on this forum now.

We are all from different denominations and that is the problem because we all believe in slightly different things.

Its not a fault. its to teach. i think we should remember to look at what denominations people are from though.

Thankyou for all your opinions, but thats what they are then eh?

 

[thatgirlisnice]

Actually that is a big Topic:

I just had a baby, ''lets say 6days ago''....Everything was so happy,jumping from joy from my child father on Nov 1,2005, he was there to support me throughout the labor...But u know what?on the 5thday which was yesterday he decide to chill off the relationship and stop calling me(dont even call for this baby) and she a newborn just had her.....

Ask yourself this: Do you want to get pregnant, so you can forget ur pain and suffering because u got rape?
If that answer is yes, then thats not a good reason to have a baby
or
Do you want to get pregnant because your boyfriend brother is having a baby and now you want one(maybe that is jealousy)

Having kids arent no joke.....The pain in labor or the pain after u have the baby
who say ur guys going to stay together
I just had a baby six days ago and im already having my problems with my boyfriend(if he still thinks this is a relationship)

Im not here to hurt you or sound harsh(cause some people do that on this board)However, if u want advice take the good ones and some people left u good ones, people who already have kids or pregnant...

your only 17, having a baby will be tough at that age
did you finish school?
are u planning on going to college?
think about that
enjoy your life because a baby will stop most of them
they need to be care for

But Pray to God for your situation
cause he already knows what you are going through and already provide you with the best solution(God Knows best)

TakeCare
private message if you want to chat
God Bless

heres a link of my 6day old baby girl

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v338/Cashiez/BabyInCrib002.jpg

 

[Leanna]

I don't know any Christian denominations who would encourage young unmarried people to have children.... ?

 

[chocolateloverjen]

yeah i know, im not going to actually have a baby, i just get brudy. need advice to stop thinking and dreaming about having kids, lol.

There are denominations that are 'slack' with sex before marriage.

methodism gives the member the open mind to find out what they believe- they dont get told your going to go to hell if you do this etc. its like - nothing is wrong or right when you say what you think the bible is saying. if you get me