want some advice...

[abelieverinChrist05]

What does it mean when a friend from the opposite sex gives you a poem, the next sunday she gives you a photo of herself and then at the end of the day, she gives you her/his phone number

that is happening to me.
I really like this girl and we've been talking for about 5 weeks now.
Valentine is almost here and i really want to have a special day with her.
our church is having a singles gathering on valentines day. She is new, barely growing in the faith. She is studying also to be in the future a preachers wife.

So, what can be a good present for her when i see her on valentines day?
We only get to see each other every sunday....

 

[Blank123]

hmmm.... well honestly seeing as how she's new to the faith, i wouldn't suggest pursuing a romantic relationship with her yet. give her some time to grow in her walk with the Lord and become steady on her own two feet before laying on her the responsibility of a relationship. Especially since, as you say, she's barely growing in the faith. The last thing you would want is to be unequally yoked with someone who has decided that Christianity is not for them. Nor do you want to become the reason she's getting deeper into the faith, if you become her foundation in Christianity and the relationship ends its entirely possible she could decide she's had enough.

You certainly can encourage her to grow in her faith. If you're intent on giving her something (i'd suggest no romantic overtones though) you can give her a study Bible or a devotional to encourage her to delve into the Word on her own more.

 

[waxlion10]

I agree. Focus on being her brother in Christ. The best thing you two can do is become good friends right now. It's great that you've been talking for five weeks, but frankly, that's not all that long in the grand scheme of things. You don't want to ruin a potential friendship because of some mutual attraction (I'm sure you already know all this )

At the same time, if you're interested in her, you don't want to blow her off and make her think you don't dig her if you do. For Valentine's day, you can do something thoughtful but perhaps not over-the-top romantic. Ger her a prayer journal with scripture verses or a mini-calendar with daily verses or something like that. Just my opinion, though

I love the Joshua Harris quotation, "The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing." I'm sure you're already lifting this situation up in prayer, but continue to do so.

Perhaps you two could email your thoughts back and forth on particular scriptures or things God is doing in your life? Make a point to become good friends and get to know each other really well? I'm not sure

 

[Luther073082]

What does it mean when a friend from the opposite sex gives you a poem, the next sunday she gives you a photo of herself and then at the end of the day, she gives you her/his phone number

that is happening to me.
I really like this girl and we've been talking for about 5 weeks now.
Valentine is almost here and i really want to have a special day with her.
our church is having a singles gathering on valentines day. She is new, barely growing in the faith. She is studying also to be in the future a preachers wife.

So, what can be a good present for her when i see her on valentines day?
We only get to see each other every sunday....

Well it sounds like she might like you BUT. . .

What the heck is a single girl doing "studying" to be a pastor's wife?? As if thats a job you can select so simpily or a profession.

A pastor's wife is just that a pastor's wife. No first lady ever spends their life working hard to become first lady, it just happens because their husband becomes the president.

If a woman is married to someone she knows will be a pastor and she wants to do some extra studying to fit the role better thats fine.

But you don't when you are single study to be a pastor's wife as though you are sure you will marry a pastor.

 

[antioch21]

Well it sounds like she might like you BUT. . .

What the heck is a single girl doing "studying" to be a pastor's wife?? As if thats a job you can select so simpily or a profession.

A pastor's wife is just that a pastor's wife. No first lady ever spends their life working hard to become first lady, it just happens because their husband becomes the president.

If a woman is married to someone she knows will be a pastor and she wants to do some extra studying to fit the role better thats fine.

But you don't when you are single study to be a pastor's wife as though you are sure you will marry a pastor.

I agree...I remember listening to a Mark Driscoll sermon a few months ago and he mentioned about being careful with girls who want to become a pastor's wife - a lot of time they do this for the wrong reasons, such as wanting to be the center of attention, know about everyone else's business, and be the "first lady" of the church, so to speak. Obviously you would be able to better guess what her motivations are, but I think it would be worth figuring out why she's so interested in becoming a pastor's wife.

Also keep in mind that, even if she does like you, it seems like she's expecting her husband to be a pastor. Do you feel called into the ministry, or do you not think you'll end up as a pastor? Because if not, she might have certain expectations of you that you might not be able to meet.

But in any case, I think she needs time to grow in her faith, prefferably with some girl friends who are more mature Christians who are stronger in their faith - that way her spiritual growth is not tied in with any romantic relationships.

 

[Luther073082]

I agree...I remember listening to a Mark Driscoll sermon a few months ago and he mentioned about being careful with girls who want to become a pastor's wife - a lot of time they do this for the wrong reasons, such as wanting to be the center of attention, know about everyone else's business, and be the "first lady" of the church, so to speak. Obviously you would be able to better guess what her motivations are, but I think it would be worth figuring out why she's so interested in becoming a pastor's wife.

Yeah it bothers me if a woman has a certain occupation in mind of a person she wants to marry before she meets them.

At the very least it seems as if they are trying to hitch themselves to their husband's prestige.

Kind of like in "An officer and a gentleman" that woman who tells her BF (who is studying to be a naval aviator) thats she's pregnant with her baby to try to get him to marry her. Well he does offer to marry her but he quits the navy to try to get a job to take care of his "child". Only to have her tell him he made the whole thing up and then dump him because she HAD to marry a naval aviator.

 

[Blank123]

meh... i wouldn't judge her too harshly if she's just new to the faith a lot of people think there are only certain things they are supposed to do when they come into the faith, become a pastor, missionary, or pastor's wife. Its part of the growing process when they realize that God can use them in an infinite number of ways through any type of work, fulltime ministry or no. She'll probably grow out of it in time (unless of course God *does* call her to be a pastors wife down the road ) as she progresses in her walk with God.

 

[Luther073082]

meh... i wouldn't judge her too harshly if she's just new to the faith a lot of people think there are only certain things they are supposed to do when they come into the faith, become a pastor, missionary, or pastor's wife. Its part of the growing process when they realize that God can use them in an infinite number of ways through any type of work, fulltime ministry or no. She'll probably grow out of it in time (unless of course God *does* call her to be a pastors wife down the road ) as she progresses in her walk with God.

That is always possible, don't get me wrong.

But I think its not good for her to study to be a pastor's wife as though she knows or has decided God's call ahead of time.

Besides pastor's wife, at least in Lutheran churchs is not a major call. My pastor's wife just acts like she's any other active member. She has her job she teaches in a public elementry school. She goes to bible studies, and a women's group. (I don't think she even leads that women's group).

The only difference between her and I typically is she probably has a few more eyes on her. But I don't think few in a Lutheran church would even refer to "pastor's wife" as a calling. There is some expectation that they are active members of the church, but they are not really afforded any more responsiblity or privlages then other active members. (And not any less either)

 

[Blank123]

But I think its not good for her to study to be a pastor's wife as though she knows or has decided God's call ahead of time.

yup she needs to just focus on knowing the Lord and growing in Him right now and let Him handle the rest. but as i say i suspect she'll grow out of this when she does start growing.

 

[Markus6]

What does it mean when a friend from the opposite sex gives you a poem, the next sunday she gives you a photo of herself and then at the end of the day, she gives you her/his phone number

It's a fulfillment of prophecy and a sign of the end of the world as predicted in Revelation.

Or it could be really ridiculously obvious.