Walking through treacle

[Top Cat]

Sorry to be depressing folks I know this is supposed to be a fun and recreation sight. I haven't been here for a while, but things have been really difficult and I would appreciate some prayer.
Last year my husband and I had our first anniversary, and to cut a long story short some guy chatted me up when we went to the pub, now he thinks i'm having an affair. This all happened last year. He has now been diagnosed with manic depression. Things have been very stressful. I work with people with mental health problems every day so I even feel like I never stop. I can't say anything or do anything without being under suspicion for sleeping with everyone from his work, my work and everyone else in the city who happens to be looking in our direction. I am probably totally eggagerating but at the present this is how I feel. I feel jumpy all the time, I shy away from talking to anyone worrying how it could be misconstrued, even my own deputy manager who unfortunately my husband has taken a dislike to.
I'm feeling very tired, defensive and not myself at all. I get annoyed about the littleist things, and feel like all I do is nag or snap.
I really want to do something for God, that was always my plan my whole life but I feel like I can't do anything now, I don't even feel like I can see friends (like I had any anyway). I feel like I could not be further away from God just now, I feel totallly selfish aswell and very sorry for myself indeed.
My husband and I have been trying to work things out but he just keeps coming up with some new paranoia, and then we get into an argument or we bury it, which I know is neither is the best response. I'm not looking for advice, I know this is part of my husband's illness, I am receiving councelling for my stress as well as him. I just need prayer cause right now I feel like im walking through treacle with no end in sight, especially as I know that this condition can last the rest of my husband's life.

please pray

Top Cat

 

[Blessed-one]

praying for your family.

 

[pete56]

Top Cat

I will hold you and your husband in my prayers.

I know how difficult it is when a partner is suspicious of your freindships, my wife and I were separated by just that sort of suspicion, but thank God we got through it and we are back together again.

Is your husband a Christian?

Remember that marriage is one of the main targets for Satan and his hordes, so this attack needs to be resisted in faith, rest on the Lord and keep the faith Sister.

God bless and keep you

Pete

 

[mle]

 

[lala]

Will keep ya in my prayers.

It's hard on both ya husband and ya but I believe this test is to prepare ya both for something greater.

 

[Top Cat]

Thanks folks, that is really encouraging that others are praying for us. At present my husband is in the 'depressive' stage of his manic depression. He is a christian, but has not been a christian long. It is very difficult to be thrown into such trials at such short notice, wheras I at least had a few years of the excitement and joy of the holy spirit. I wish he could experience that more (although he does from time to time). Its made me think however that I have been fighting against my husband as if he's the problem when its the illness which is the enemy. Its also made me think more about mental health issues in the church. I am a mental health support worker in my job also and its made me wonder how christians who are schizophrenic cope (i.e. when hearing voices and seeing hallucinations) it must be very difficult for them to distinguish the difference between God's voice and the voice of their illness. Christians often find it difficult to determine when God is speaking to them, how can it be then distingished if it sounds like a real voice is speaking to you. Also with manic depressives, when in their euphoric and manic stage they are prone to make massive gestures i.e. huge debts or sexually promiscuous behaviour. For the christian who is a manic depressive the urge to do something extravagent for God must lead them to some unnuasal places (my own husband wants to go to isreal to preach to the Jews with no other plan or assurance behind it) many christians have done this, but how do you tell the difference between illness and faith. Also christians in this world are seen as pretty weird and insane anyway, but we can explain to others the reason for our hope, and our consistant approach shows that we are not 'mad'. Many who are suffering from mental health problems are nervous and anxious about challenging their psychiatrist (and if they do they are deemed to lack insight into their illness). How difficult it must be for them to explain their assurance.
Has anyone else considered this and has anyone found any answers.

Thanx for all ur prayers

Top CatXX