M
MissBootiful
Guest
Hi,
I am new here and looking to make friends and find some support through a very trying time in my life. I have been married for six years but have been with my hubby for 7 years. We have been separated for three months. The last three years of our marriage has been very hard. My hubby was very sweet, charming and tenderhearted when we first met. The reason I decided to marry him was because he seemed to have such a great heart. We both come from abusive homes and we have a lot in common. We understand each other. Before I met him I was with whom I considered to be the great love of my life. This was before I became saved. I was agnostic and he was an atheist. When he and I had broken up it hurt more than almost anything I had felt. I never ever got over him. My current hubby who professes to love me with every fiber of his being and swears he is a Christian talks the talk but does not walk the walk. Since we have been married this has what has driven me away.... I keep finding all kinds of porn. Before we got married I found a 10 inch [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] and stacks of porn movies and magazines. I found a gay website for men with his profile. After we were married I found out he had a child he never knew about and he just did not want anything to do with this child altogether. He tried to get out of paying the child support. He lost his job and I worked double shifts just to support us. My mom gave him 2,000 dollars to start his own business and after that flopped my grandmother put 2,000 dollars down on a condo because he could not support us and so I had to move back home. I helped him get a good job making 55,000 a year and went to work for a Christian bookstore. The condo was not good enough for him and so he borrowed 1,000 from my best friends husband for a down payment on a lease purchase for a house. He said that my job at the christian bookstore was not good enough so I quit my job and went and got a higher paying job. It was second shift so he yelled at me all the time because I was never home to spend time with him and none of the chores got done and he had to make his own supper. I started talking to another man and told my husband about it. This man was at my work so he proceeded to use his position of power to try to get this guy fired but it back fired. He then told me it was either my job or our marriage. So I got another job making less money. I just could not be happy even though it was an easy job. I was not happy at home so for the last two years I went from job to job trying to find some sort of happiness. All the while my husband was digging us deeper and deeper in debt. He has borrowed thousands of dollars from both sides of our families. Which I ended up mostly paying back. My grandfather bought him a 9,000 BMW and my uncle gave him a 30,000 dollar boat. He makes 55,000 a year and I work full time and we stay broke. My grandmother has to buy all my clothes. We are separated and I am happier now than I have been in three years. We are going to marriage counseling once a month. We are both going to individual counseling. My counselor says he shows signs of being a sociopath. Lately he has been on his very best behavior, he has taken care of me when I was sick and paid for most all my medical bills. My ex boyfriend who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, has been a supportive friend without crossing the line, but has made me realize I am still to this day very much in love with him even though we have been separated for 7 years. He is not a christian but acts more of a Christian than my husband ever has, but of course he also has his dark past, but so do I. My hubby has done some really thoughtful things and has done things to help others, but it is also far and few between. He is very charming and can be very sweet and he is highly intelligent. He has great qualities of which make me attracted to him. However, I see my mom and dad and countless other couples that have stayed together, because God hates divorce and they have been miserable their whole 30 years of marriage. I want to do the right thing, but I also want to be happy. Any input I would really appreciate, Thanks !
I am new here and looking to make friends and find some support through a very trying time in my life. I have been married for six years but have been with my hubby for 7 years. We have been separated for three months. The last three years of our marriage has been very hard. My hubby was very sweet, charming and tenderhearted when we first met. The reason I decided to marry him was because he seemed to have such a great heart. We both come from abusive homes and we have a lot in common. We understand each other. Before I met him I was with whom I considered to be the great love of my life. This was before I became saved. I was agnostic and he was an atheist. When he and I had broken up it hurt more than almost anything I had felt. I never ever got over him. My current hubby who professes to love me with every fiber of his being and swears he is a Christian talks the talk but does not walk the walk. Since we have been married this has what has driven me away.... I keep finding all kinds of porn. Before we got married I found a 10 inch [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] and stacks of porn movies and magazines. I found a gay website for men with his profile. After we were married I found out he had a child he never knew about and he just did not want anything to do with this child altogether. He tried to get out of paying the child support. He lost his job and I worked double shifts just to support us. My mom gave him 2,000 dollars to start his own business and after that flopped my grandmother put 2,000 dollars down on a condo because he could not support us and so I had to move back home. I helped him get a good job making 55,000 a year and went to work for a Christian bookstore. The condo was not good enough for him and so he borrowed 1,000 from my best friends husband for a down payment on a lease purchase for a house. He said that my job at the christian bookstore was not good enough so I quit my job and went and got a higher paying job. It was second shift so he yelled at me all the time because I was never home to spend time with him and none of the chores got done and he had to make his own supper. I started talking to another man and told my husband about it. This man was at my work so he proceeded to use his position of power to try to get this guy fired but it back fired. He then told me it was either my job or our marriage. So I got another job making less money. I just could not be happy even though it was an easy job. I was not happy at home so for the last two years I went from job to job trying to find some sort of happiness. All the while my husband was digging us deeper and deeper in debt. He has borrowed thousands of dollars from both sides of our families. Which I ended up mostly paying back. My grandfather bought him a 9,000 BMW and my uncle gave him a 30,000 dollar boat. He makes 55,000 a year and I work full time and we stay broke. My grandmother has to buy all my clothes. We are separated and I am happier now than I have been in three years. We are going to marriage counseling once a month. We are both going to individual counseling. My counselor says he shows signs of being a sociopath. Lately he has been on his very best behavior, he has taken care of me when I was sick and paid for most all my medical bills. My ex boyfriend who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, has been a supportive friend without crossing the line, but has made me realize I am still to this day very much in love with him even though we have been separated for 7 years. He is not a christian but acts more of a Christian than my husband ever has, but of course he also has his dark past, but so do I. My hubby has done some really thoughtful things and has done things to help others, but it is also far and few between. He is very charming and can be very sweet and he is highly intelligent. He has great qualities of which make me attracted to him. However, I see my mom and dad and countless other couples that have stayed together, because God hates divorce and they have been miserable their whole 30 years of marriage. I want to do the right thing, but I also want to be happy. Any input I would really appreciate, Thanks !
