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Waking up

Tempura

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You feel physically drowning, like you're suffocating, trouble breathing? Or was that a figure of speech? I don't know what it means if you meant it literally, but if you didn't, I've had those times when I woke up and then immediately after 2 seconds all the depression, all the feelings and fears came over me just like that. I remember those times and how hard they were.

If you meant that literally, you'd do right to see a doctor. Hell, I recommend seeing a doctor for your depression alone, or whatever treatment you can get.
 
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Press On

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Whenever i wake up,, I feel like I am drowning for those few seconds I become awake. Is this normal for someone with depression.
I have never experienced the particular phenomenon, but have experienced other surreal things. It's amazing the sights/sounds/feelings the brain comes up with.
 
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Jeshu

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Yep very normal in my life! Breathing problems and/or those sinking feelings. I'm sorry to say that it can get a lot worse than just in the morning, during some of my deepest times in depression I used to frequently wake up at night with that problem. Sometimes so bad that I with my sleepy head really thought I was going to die suffocating, when I was psychotic I often had hands around my throat as well, this was a very hard time in my life i remember that. It was linked to my anxiety at the time, which was so bad because of the psych medication I took, but I only realized that much later on.

Did you get this problem before you started your current meds or has it only recently developed? I would certainly go and see a doctor though you might benefit from a change or adjustment of your meds.
 
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Jeshu

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This only medicine I am taking is gabapentine, which is for pain.

And most likely a lot of your depression and wish to die as well, for a lot of pain killers, as well as psych medications are renown for doing that to people, Gabapentin is among them. (https://www.drugs.com/gabapentin.html) Have you been on them for a long time? Much longer than those breathing problems started in the morning? Perhaps checking past the things you have taken around the time this problem started will help discover why this symptom has appeared.

Also I would go and visit your doctor and tell him about your depression and your wish to die and see what he or she thinks about all that. It may well be that your depression is so bad because you use this particular medication and a simple change will improve your condition a lot.

a full list of other effects this particular medication has
https://www.drugs.com/sfx/gabapentin-side-effects.html
 
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