faerieevaH
lucky wife
I'm 28 and am still waiting. I have been in a courtship before and unfortunately, it did not work out. Before we were engaged, an old friend from university came back into his life and after a period of confusion (about which he was honest) he chose for her. It hurt like something I can not describe, but both he and I are so endlessly grateful that both of us have chosen to wait. He is engaged to that other girl now, and we still are friends. I don't think that would be possible if we had been sexually active.
I strongly agree with Geocajun and Shannon here in the difference between dating and courtship. There's a great article about dating often being a 'training for divorce', after all... you're 16, you're in love with a guy, you date, you are hopelessly romantic, you go out with eachother you dream of weddings and babies, and after three months you find out he 'isn't the one', and break up and go to the next guy. And the next guy.... Untill... when you are ready to marry you find a nice guy and you decide he is the one. And you get married. And of course you have your quarrels but things are really nice. And then when you hit a really rough spot... it's easy to think 'he may not be the one after all' so why not go on and look for the next one because this obviously was not what marriage was for.
Courtship on the other hand is waiting till you are ready to commit yourself to marriage before starting to do what is generally considdered dating. And then only a courtship will do with someone you know from the start might be someone indeed that you will end up marrying. Of course, even then things might happen that make your first courtship not the one you will eventually marry. The commitment to courtship is a serious... investment and investigation so to speak before you sacramentally bind yourself to eachother.
Sounds boring? I can tell you it's the most romantic and uplifting experience. I am grateful still that I have waited for courtship instead of dating around, and even though I'm 28, I'm even more grateful that I have not given my virginity (even though I was courting, of marriable age, AND in a serious relationship). Now I will never have to have the memory "I love my husband deeply. I'm so grateful that I married him. And he is the second best lover I ever had in my life."
What to do against temptation? Pray... and inundate yourself with good material. You won't feel half as tempted to be sexually active prematurely after seeing "A walk to remember" than after seeing the latest run of the mill movie in which everyone seems to investigate the others toncils from close by.
Surround yourself by things that may be helpful and try to... take joy in resisting the temptation. This pledge is a wonderful one: http://www.texlife.org/docs/girlpledge.html. I don't always favour the wording of chastity pledges, but this one focusses on a sense of... purity and Ladylike behaviour, but also a joy in that purity. Chastity rings can help. You don't need an elaborate ceremony or a program. (though for some it can be suportive and helpful). If you say your boyfriend is respectful of your chastity, ask him to be present. If your parents are suportive, you can ask your father or your mother to be the one who puts the chastity ring on your finger. That way you always have a reminder. I know that mine helps me not to think of chastity as a never ending task, but as a never ending joy.
I am a virgin... I run through the world as a maiden (I love that word) the way God has created me. And one day -if it is his will- I will unite with a man and bond together in the most intimate way, and -again if it is his will- life will come from us, from him and me. What joy and what celebration will be in that. But at the same time: what joy and celebration is there now in my purity (even if I am 28 years old, even if I should be 50 years old) each day of my life is a feast for the Lord in offering myself to him the way he has made me. Try to... 'feel' like a maiden. Like a lady. It will give you a glow of warmth and of love that is more atractive than anything I can name and the joy within it will help giving you strength against temptation.
I strongly agree with Geocajun and Shannon here in the difference between dating and courtship. There's a great article about dating often being a 'training for divorce', after all... you're 16, you're in love with a guy, you date, you are hopelessly romantic, you go out with eachother you dream of weddings and babies, and after three months you find out he 'isn't the one', and break up and go to the next guy. And the next guy.... Untill... when you are ready to marry you find a nice guy and you decide he is the one. And you get married. And of course you have your quarrels but things are really nice. And then when you hit a really rough spot... it's easy to think 'he may not be the one after all' so why not go on and look for the next one because this obviously was not what marriage was for.
Courtship on the other hand is waiting till you are ready to commit yourself to marriage before starting to do what is generally considdered dating. And then only a courtship will do with someone you know from the start might be someone indeed that you will end up marrying. Of course, even then things might happen that make your first courtship not the one you will eventually marry. The commitment to courtship is a serious... investment and investigation so to speak before you sacramentally bind yourself to eachother.
Sounds boring? I can tell you it's the most romantic and uplifting experience. I am grateful still that I have waited for courtship instead of dating around, and even though I'm 28, I'm even more grateful that I have not given my virginity (even though I was courting, of marriable age, AND in a serious relationship). Now I will never have to have the memory "I love my husband deeply. I'm so grateful that I married him. And he is the second best lover I ever had in my life."
What to do against temptation? Pray... and inundate yourself with good material. You won't feel half as tempted to be sexually active prematurely after seeing "A walk to remember" than after seeing the latest run of the mill movie in which everyone seems to investigate the others toncils from close by.
Surround yourself by things that may be helpful and try to... take joy in resisting the temptation. This pledge is a wonderful one: http://www.texlife.org/docs/girlpledge.html. I don't always favour the wording of chastity pledges, but this one focusses on a sense of... purity and Ladylike behaviour, but also a joy in that purity. Chastity rings can help. You don't need an elaborate ceremony or a program. (though for some it can be suportive and helpful). If you say your boyfriend is respectful of your chastity, ask him to be present. If your parents are suportive, you can ask your father or your mother to be the one who puts the chastity ring on your finger. That way you always have a reminder. I know that mine helps me not to think of chastity as a never ending task, but as a never ending joy.
I am a virgin... I run through the world as a maiden (I love that word) the way God has created me. And one day -if it is his will- I will unite with a man and bond together in the most intimate way, and -again if it is his will- life will come from us, from him and me. What joy and what celebration will be in that. But at the same time: what joy and celebration is there now in my purity (even if I am 28 years old, even if I should be 50 years old) each day of my life is a feast for the Lord in offering myself to him the way he has made me. Try to... 'feel' like a maiden. Like a lady. It will give you a glow of warmth and of love that is more atractive than anything I can name and the joy within it will help giving you strength against temptation.
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