Waiting for a miracle

[Ecs867]

I’ve been plagued with ocd since the age of 16 but it was dismissed as a spiritual attack and over the years it subsided and was manageable. This past November as I was planning my wedding it struck again and shattered my life. It started off with wanting to harm my animals who are my world and then my husband whom I love dearly (we got married by the court five days before my breakdown-ocd tells me that I don’t love him). Then the worst happened I began to have violent sexual thoughts about children. I’ve had intrusive thoughts like that in the past but never at this intensity. Basically I have pure O and it’s a nightmare. I’ve been hospitalized, suffered many sleepless nights and attempted suicide. Currently I am going to an outpatient program because I can’t be alone at home for long periods of time. I’m either afraid I’ll hurt the dogs or myself. I live in fear and cry out to God to please give me some relief. Currently I’m on medication for ocd (Luvox) and Ativan for anxiety. I tried weaning off the Ativan and it was a nightmare. I can’t sleep without it. I’m also seeing a therapist who does cbt and erp. I really miss my life. Before November 15th I was fine and loving my life. I really hope I can be myself again. I don’t want to hurt anyone/anything

 

[Glaucus]

I private messaged you.

 

[SkyWriting]

I’ve been plagued with ocd since the age of 16 but it was dismissed as a spiritual attack and over the years it subsided and was manageable. This past November as I was planning my wedding it struck again and shattered my life. It started off with wanting to harm my animals who are my world and then my husband whom I love dearly (we got married by the court five days before my breakdown-ocd tells me that I don’t love him). Then the worst happened I began to have violent sexual thoughts about children. I’ve had intrusive thoughts like that in the past but never at this intensity. Basically I have pure O and it’s a nightmare. I’ve been hospitalized, suffered many sleepless nights and attempted suicide. Currently I am going to an outpatient program because I can’t be alone at home for long periods of time. I’m either afraid I’ll hurt the dogs or myself. I live in fear and cry out to God to please give me some relief. Currently I’m on medication for ocd (Luvox) and Ativan for anxiety. I tried weaning off the Ativan and it was a nightmare. I can’t sleep without it. I’m also seeing a therapist who does cbt and erp. I really miss my life. Before November 15th I was fine and loving my life. I really hope I can be myself again. I don’t want to hurt anyone/anything

The internet is not the place to solve problems. Seek local help in your area.

 

[Ecs867]

The internet is not the place to solve problems. Seek local help in your area.

Just here for support. I’m going to therapy, taking meds and doing everything in my power to get well.

 

[Glaucus]

The internet is not the place to solve problems. Seek local help in your area.

Speak for yourself. God has worked a miracle today, and I'll leave it at that.

 

[SkyWriting]

Speak for yourself. God has worked a miracle today, and I'll leave it at that.

I always speak for myself. Thanks allowing me such a miracle.

 

[SkyWriting]

Just here for support. I’m going to therapy, taking meds and doing everything in my power to get well.

I'm just saying, it not a healthy place for support.
There is a correlation between the amount of time
spent on the internet and depression. Those in
therapy should avoid chat forums.

 

[Buckeyefor Jesus]

I’ve been plagued with ocd since the age of 16 but it was dismissed as a spiritual attack and over the years it subsided and was manageable. This past November as I was planning my wedding it struck again and shattered my life. It started off with wanting to harm my animals who are my world and then my husband whom I love dearly (we got married by the court five days before my breakdown-ocd tells me that I don’t love him). Then the worst happened I began to have violent sexual thoughts about children. I’ve had intrusive thoughts like that in the past but never at this intensity. Basically I have pure O and it’s a nightmare. I’ve been hospitalized, suffered many sleepless nights and attempted suicide. Currently I am going to an outpatient program because I can’t be alone at home for long periods of time. I’m either afraid I’ll hurt the dogs or myself. I live in fear and cry out to God to please give me some relief. Currently I’m on medication for ocd (Luvox) and Ativan for anxiety. I tried weaning off the Ativan and it was a nightmare. I can’t sleep without it. I’m also seeing a therapist who does cbt and erp. I really miss my life. Before November 15th I was fine and loving my life. I really hope I can be myself again. I don’t want to hurt anyone/anything

Do you or are you involved in a Church that believes in laying of hands for healing?

 

[Ecs867]

Yes, I’ve had several people pray for me at church.

 

[Glaucus]

.

 

[gloriousday2006]

I’ve been plagued with ocd since the age of 16 but it was dismissed as a spiritual attack and over the years it subsided and was manageable. This past November as I was planning my wedding it struck again and shattered my life. It started off with wanting to harm my animals who are my world and then my husband whom I love dearly (we got married by the court five days before my breakdown-ocd tells me that I don’t love him). Then the worst happened I began to have violent sexual thoughts about children. I’ve had intrusive thoughts like that in the past but never at this intensity. Basically I have pure O and it’s a nightmare. I’ve been hospitalized, suffered many sleepless nights and attempted suicide. Currently I am going to an outpatient program because I can’t be alone at home for long periods of time. I’m either afraid I’ll hurt the dogs or myself. I live in fear and cry out to God to please give me some relief. Currently I’m on medication for ocd (Luvox) and Ativan for anxiety. I tried weaning off the Ativan and it was a nightmare. I can’t sleep without it. I’m also seeing a therapist who does cbt and erp. I really miss my life. Before November 15th I was fine and loving my life. I really hope I can be myself again. I don’t want to hurt anyone/anything

I am praying for you!!! I understand completely. OCD attacks the things we love the most and hold the most dear. You can get through this with God.

 

[Mari17]

You can overcome this!! OCD seems like an impossible monster but it is actually just a coward that will disintegrate as you learn the right tools for attacking it. CBT/ERP is the route to go, so I'm glad you have a therapist trained in that. I've had OCD since I as a child and have had so many themes - including the pedophile one, which was one of the worst. You CAN get back to normal - I am now an elementary teacher who works with kids of all ages, and my old obsession does not bother me at all. Keep learning all you can about fighting OCD, and put it into practice. I know it feels awful, but there is so much hope! Take it from one who has come out on the other side, more than once! Feel free to ask more questions or pm me anytime!

 

[Ecs867]

You can overcome this!! OCD seems like an impossible monster but it is actually just a coward that will disintegrate as you learn the right tools for attacking it. CBT/ERP is the route to go, so I'm glad you have a therapist trained in that. I've had OCD since I as a child and have had so many themes - including the pedophile one, which was one of the worst. You CAN get back to normal - I am now an elementary teacher who works with kids of all ages, and my old obsession does not bother me at all. Keep learning all you can about fighting OCD, and put it into practice. I know it feels awful, but there is so much hope! Take it from one who has come out on the other side, more than once! Feel free to ask more questions or pm me anytime!

Thank you so much! This gives me so much hope

 

[Ecs867]

Thank you so much! This gives me so much hope

 

[Ecs867]

I am praying for you!!! I understand completely. OCD attacks the things we love the most and hold the most dear. You can get through this with God.

Thank you so much