Waiting and wondering

[uglytruth]

I admit my problems were created by myself, no one made me create my mess. With that said I have put my life in gods hands, I keep hearing people say he will turn your crisis Into a victory. While I must admit that victory may not be what I think I want it to be I still wait with anticipation. But for me I have never had to have faith like this so I often wonder," what can I do to help"? I ask myself the question " why would god fix my problems? I am the one who destroyed the precious gifts he freely gave to me.? I always come back to the fact that god loves us all, and he wants to fix our messes so that we will worship and praise him. But still I wonder what it is I'm doing wrong, my heart is broken my body is weak from the emotional war my situation has caused. How long will I have to wait before the relief comes?

The truth is that god is working in me as I type. His presence brings me to tears, I'm learning the more life brings you down the more our father lifts us up.. Sometimes I just want to walk away from my problems, but every time god gives me more reasons to stay and work through the toughest times in my life.

Today I prayed that god will release the chains that hold me back from serving him more deeply. I once was afraid of the mental battle of flesh vs christ but am now starting to enjoy the battle.

In the end my crisis will glorify god and give me a powerful testimony to help others who struggle the I have.

So I pray the lord sends me more trials because I already k ow the good they will produce even before I've ever seen his amazing results.

 

[motherprayer]

Oh just AMEN!

 

[vjcoppola]

uglytruth,
As I read your post Psalm 51 comes to mind. "A broken and contrite heart thou will not despise". Your penitential attitude is a good thing. As we mature as Christians the depth of our debt to God becomes more apparent. Our sins become more than we can bare. We recognize our miserable hopelessness. Most important, and this is what you need to focus on, we come to understand the immense value in what Christ has done for us. He alone has provided a way out of the hopeless mess we put ourselves into. All we need to do is trust in Him. Thanks be to God! Alleluia! Alleluia!