Virginity

Controverse · May 25, 2008

Moral or not, I prefer a virgin female rather than one who's already done it, in much the same way I prefer brunettes over blondes, girls with long hair over girls with short hair, and girls who are kind and caring over girls who are snobby and self-centered.

For me it's just about preferences, really. That's the only way in which I value virginity at all.

Eudaimonist · May 25, 2008

spartacus1984 said:
virginity shouldn't be valued

and virginity isn't a virtue

and a virgin isn't more virtuous

Spartacus1984, are bots virgins?

eudaimonia,

Mark

cantata · May 25, 2008

Controverse said:
Moral or not, I prefer a virgin female rather than one who's already done it, in much the same way I prefer brunettes over blondes, girls with long hair over girls with short hair, and girls who are kind and caring over girls who are snobby and self-centered.

For me it's just about preferences, really. That's the only way in which I value virginity at all.

Am I the only one who finds this really creepy?

Eudaimonist · May 25, 2008

cantata said:
Am I the only one who finds this really creepy?

What did you find creepy?

eudaimonia,

Mark

God-free · May 25, 2008

Eudaimonist said:
Spartacus1984, are bots virgins?

eudaimonia,

Mark

Pardon my ignorance, please. What is a bot?

God-free · May 25, 2008

Controverse said:
Moral or not, I prefer a virgin female rather than one who's already done it, in much the same way I prefer brunettes over blondes, girls with long hair over girls with short hair, and girls who are kind and caring over girls who are snobby and self-centered.

For me it's just about preferences, really. That's the only way in which I value virginity at all.

(emphasis mine)

I assume you mean you prefer a virgin female who has reached the age of consent? Anyway, good luck with that.

KET20 · May 25, 2008

cantata said:
Am I the only one who finds this really creepy?

Nope, you sure aren't. I found it pretty creepy myself. I wonder if the poster could enlighten us as to why one would prefer a virgin girl if it's not a moral consideration...

cantata · May 25, 2008

Eudaimonist said:
What did you find creepy?

Well, it makes me wonder what precisely is attractive about virginity, since he put it in the category of things which make him sexually attracted to women.

God-free · May 25, 2008

KET20 said:
cantata said:

Am I the only one who finds this really creepy?

Click to expand...

Nope, you sure aren't. I found it pretty creepy myself. I wonder if the poster could enlighten us as to why one would prefer a virgin girl if it's not a moral consideration...

I suspect a lot of men would prefer a virgin because she'd have no way to compare his performance to anyone else.

KET20 · May 25, 2008

cantata said:
Well, it makes me wonder what precisely is attractive about virginity, since he put it in the category of things which make him sexually attracted to women.

You know, I didn't really think of it that way, it just sort of struck me as odd. Considering that thought though, I now find it extra creepy.

God-free said:
I suspect it may have something to do with a virgin having no way to compare his performance to anyone else.

You know, that was exactly what crossed my mind, I just didn't want to say it out loud. Now that you've said it though... I'm forced to agree.

God-free · May 25, 2008

KET20 said:
God-free said:

I suspect it may have something to do with a virgin having no way to compare his performance to anyone else.

Click to expand...

You know, that was exactly what crossed my mind, I just didn't want to say it out loud. Now that you've said it though... I'm forced to agree.

I shouldn't have worded it the way I did, that's why I reworded my post (unfortunately, not in time for you to catch it). I didn't want my post to be misconstrued as an ad hom. That's not what I intended. The gist of my comment remains the same though.

HaloHope · May 25, 2008

cantata said:
Am I the only one who finds this really creepy?

*raises hand*

The more I think about it the creepier it gets.

I CAN understand it being an important criteria for someone who believes both people in a relationship are virgins when they marry or have sex or whatever. But as an actual attractive element of a person? Bit scary.

KET20 · May 25, 2008

God-free said:
I shouldn't have worded it the way I did, that's why I reworded my post (unfortunately, not in time for you to catch it). I didn't want my post to be misconstrued as an ad hom. That's not what I intended. The gist of my comment remains the same though.

Yup, I actually reread it and saw it said "no way for a virgin to compare...". That really was my first thought though, followed swiftly by the fact that being attracted to virgins is rather odd.

Eudaimonist · May 25, 2008

I honestly don't see why anyone finds a preference for virgins creepy. Odd sure, but creepy?

One may prefer a virgin because there wouldn't be any "baggage" from previous experiences or relationships to intrude on the relationship. Also, there might be some romanticized sense of sharing one's life with only one person, and to have that reciprocated.

So, I can understand his feelings, even though I would personally prefer a girl who has experience.

eudaimonia,

Mark

Ramona · May 25, 2008

cantata said:
Well, it makes me wonder what precisely is attractive about virginity, since he put it in the category of things which make him sexually attracted to women.

I'm sorry, but I found it a little weird, too. I mean, you wouldn't know whether somoene is a virgin unless they told you...

PassionFruit · May 25, 2008

I still don't understand why virginity is treated like something that can be taken or given away. If you treat it like that and decide to have premarital sex, I can see how some people would regret this because they felt like they lost something.

Joykins · May 25, 2008

Eudaimonist said:
I honestly don't see why anyone finds a preference for virgins creepy. Odd sure, but creepy?

One may prefer a virgin because there wouldn't be any "baggage" from previous experiences or relationships to intrude on the relationship. Also, there might be some romanticized sense of sharing one's life with only one person, and to have that reciprocated.

So, I can understand his feelings, even though I would personally prefer a girl who has experience.

eudaimonia,

Mark

It is the worst kind of double standard, to want to be the first for all your partners. Think about it.

stan1980 · May 25, 2008

Joykins said:
It is the worst kind of double standard, to want to be the first for all your partners. Think about it.

Yes, that is a double standard, although I don't think anyone said that.

Mling · May 25, 2008

I do think that being attracted to virgins, specifically, is a little creepy, if the person in question *does* have sexual experience.

Virtue and innocence may be attractive, but both can exist in a person who has sexual experience and not exist in a person who *doesn't* have experience. I see being attracted to a lack of sexual experience, as a trait unto itself, as similar to being attracted to people who never went to college, when you did, or who are bad at a sport or craft that you are good at. The idea is that you are attracted to people you can "best", or who are truly unable to see your flaws and so will think you are better than you are.
It's basically being attracted to people you can manipulate.

The assumption always being that the person does have experience at whatever they are attracted to a lack of.

Dracil · May 26, 2008

Mling said:
I do think that being attracted to virgins, specifically, is a little creepy, if the person in question *does* have sexual experience.

Virtue and innocence may be attractive, but both can exist in a person who has sexual experience and not exist in a person who *does* have experience. I see being attracted to a lack of sexual experience, as a trait unto itself, as similar to being attracted to people who never went to college, when you did, or who are bad at a sport or craft that you are good at. The idea is that you are attracted to people you can "best", or who are truly unable to see your flaws and so will think you are better than you are.
It's basically being attracted to people you can manipulate.

The assumption always being that the person does have experience at whatever they are attracted to a lack of.

That would only make sense if you are not a virgin yourself. If you're a virgin as well, you wouldn't be "besting" them at anything since you're on equal footing, which is what some people want.

In fact, by your reasoning, a virgin would very much not want to be with a non-virgin, because they don't want to feel inferior to the non-virgin's experience.

I wonder if there's a correlation to how one treats virginity and how one treats spoilers in games/books/movies. To some people, being spoiled is psychologically very painful. The sense of loss is probably rather similar. To others, they would rather be spoiled as much and as quickly as possible so they can understand whether something is good or bad or worth their time. It's like reading full walkthroughs/strategy guides with all the cheats and all the ways to get the different endings so they can get the most out of it (this from a game perspective)

Virginity

Green Metal Ranger

I believe in life before death!

Queer non-theist, with added jam.

I believe in life before death!

One of many moral atheists

One of many moral atheists

Seeker of Truth

Queer non-theist, with added jam.

One of many moral atheists

Seeker of Truth

One of many moral atheists

Senior Member

Seeker of Truth

I believe in life before death!

If you can't see my siggy, I've disappeared ;)

I woke up like dis

free Crazy Liz!

Veteran

Knight of the Woeful Countenance (in training)

Well-Known Member

Similar threads

Privacy & Transparency

Privacy & Transparency