The don't want to have sex because of my religion made me think-- what kind of guys do you date?
I guess it is easier for men, or was when I was younger, because the man was expected to ask the girl out. If someone didn't seem to have faith in Christ and similar values, she wasn't someone I would consider asking out. If you are a girl and get ask out a lot (good for you, btw) then it may be a little harder.
You don't have to date men you aren't interested in. I know there is a great need for tact to communicate this. Someone asking you to have coffee with them is asking you out, but it doesn't absolutely have to be a romantic thing either. If you do go out for coffee with a guy you know little about, you could talk a lot about your faith, evangelize him, tell him you are a virgin and you won't kiss a guy until marriage, etc. By the end of that date, if he isn't the type of guy you are interested in, you just might not get asked out a second time.
You can do all that and be kind, too.
Chances are, the type of guy who asks a girl out when he knows nothing about that girl's faith or spiritual walk may not be very interested in the faith or spiritual walk of a girl he dates. So he may not be a very good candidate to date. If you go for coffee or whatever, you can present it as a 'just friends' thing. If I were you, I'd be more receptive to dates from godly Christian men who are seriously looking for spouses, not just someone to date to pass the time with. Dating to pass the time is stupid and hurtful, IMO. Friendship to pass the time is okay. A godly man shouldn't be seeing how many girls he can make out with before he gets married.
He shouldn't be seeing how many hearts he breaks before he gets married. Be kind and friendly without being flirtatious.
If I were in your shoes, I might set some pretty high affection standards, like no kissing until engagement. If a young man respects that a lot and is on board with the no sex until marriage values you have, then that's a reason to move forward. If a man doesn't share your no sex until marriage values, and I were in your shoes, I wouldn't even consider pursuing a romantic relationship. If he needs evangelizing and discipling, you can invite him to church as 'just friends' and see if you can get some guys to disciple him. If I were a young woman, I wouldn't want to marry a man I had to disciple anyway. You can do all this as kindly as possible. Don't use the 'mean' approach to keep guys away because of sexual issues. Find someone really dedicated to Biblical values related to not committing fornication. Any normal young man has a sex drive. But he needs to have values. I don't think you should date a guy who has to be persuaded that it's wrong to have sex before marriage. If you mention that, subtly (don't have to be blunt about sex talk) early in the relationship, and you get the vibe he doesn't agree, put the guy in the 'just friends' zone. Be picky. If you have to persuade a guy to get him to go along with the no-sex-before-marriage philosophy before marriage, how are you going to get him to go along with the sex-with-only-you philosophy after marriage? Find someone who has some Biblical values already.
If that means you don't have a date Friday night, or that if your date Friday is going to be the 52nd one to be put in the 'just friends' zone.
Keep in mind, too, that the type of man who has values that don't allow him to give himself any room for fornication or adultery, just might be turned off by a girl he sees being 'mean' to the guys around her. Just something to think about.
I dated this one girl when I was about your age, or maybe a couple of years older, who was a foreigner. We both were, from different countries, working in a foreign land. There was a bit of a language barrier. A few things she said in conversation tipped me off that I could do just about anything with this girl that I wanted. She misunderstood something I said as inviting her back to my place, and she seemed interested. I'm not saying I would have fallen into fornication with this girl, but I saw it was going to be a temptation. I was a little unsure about the relationship, not sure that she was someone I would marry, but when I'd see her again, I wanted to continue the relationship. But when I realized we could be tempted to fornication, and I thought about it and realized it wasn't likely we'd marry, I ended it. We ended on very amicable terms, though. I gave her my VCR and tapes when I left the country.
Don't be mean, but on this issue, don't settle. You don't have to have a boyfriend. Some people say that there are no soul mates. Be that as it may, God can still pick someone out for you, however he does it. Abraham prayed and God sent an angel before Abraham's servant to lead him to the right girl for Isaac. The Lord had her picked out for him. The Lord may just pick you out for someone.
