Very confusing situation

[mamawolf]

Hi, I am looking for advice and prayer but mainly prayer in guidance. I have been legaly married to my husband for 7 years we have been separated for almost 4 of that 7. The divorce has not gone thru because of some reason or another. There was a history of abuse on both sides, both sides have forgiven the transgressions on each other. We both realixe there are still feelings there that can be built upon. Both sides feel that God has set things into place that we are both seeing these things and we have felt a tugging at our heart strings thru some songs played on k-love while we were discussing some things in the car on the way back to my house. I am confused, i dont know in the slightest as to what to do. There was alot of things he has apologized for there are alot of things he addmitted wrong doing. Our kids want us to come back together. I know its not good to do things for just because it is for the kids, but would it be wrong of me to want him back because it might benifit the kids? And while he is there for the kids we work things he has agreed to participate in marriage counseling thru our church. and has agreed to alot of other things.

 

[LinkH]

Here is some scripture on the subject.

I Corinthians 7
10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.


Restoring a marriage after a divorce can be a really good thing. Were there any remarriages in between, other children, or other relationships, or have you both been living single and celibate since?

If it's a simple situation like both of your first marriage, no marriages since, and no other children, and both of you have repented, why wouldn't you consider reconciling with your ex-husband and the father of your children?

 

[mamawolf]

we are not legally divorced the divorce has not been finalized. there is a history of abuse and attempted reconciliations that failed due to continued abuse. and both of us have been with ppl during the separation. i had a daughter by an ex boyfriend that i felt was best for her to do an adoption. she will be 2 this year we have been separated for 4 years now

 

[mamawolf]

my husband has been married before this is my first marriage

 

[mamawolf]

this past suay i talked to the pastor of my church, my "husband" used to attend there and is starting again the pastor knows our situation pretty well and put it into perspective for me and he told me that just because we have feelings for someone it doesnt mean we have to revisit it especially since i have doubts and fears about it repeating itself again

 

[jehoiakim]

I don't think it is wrong to have a desire to get back together for the kids... BUT if it is your only reason then it is a very bad desision. I grew up in a broken home. If you guys aren't going to work it out, then getting back together and breaking up again could do even more damage to your family. I know it is hard not to think about it, but imagine your kids were out of the picture... would you still have an interest in getting back together. Marriage is a lot of work, it can be great but it is a lot of work and even the best marriages have ups and downs. I think counseling should be mandatory and intensive for at least a year. Then you can ween off it slowly. P.S best marriage book we ever read "Love and Respect"... just a suggestion

 

[mamawolf]

it would be nice to have my help mate back before he started to listen to the wrong people but the risk to the kids well being as well as my own is too great, i have alot of doubts that he is changed as he claims.