Verbal Abuse

[LaSorcia]

I hate verbal abuse. Arguing is not the same as verbal abuse. Verbal abuse makes me cry all day, and not want to be around that person. It makes me feel like a piece of dirt. It makes me feel ashamed in front of God. It ruins relationships. It destroys my enthusiasm and makes me feel so alone. It makes me wonder what is wrong with me that I can't see. I wonder what makes people think they can get away with treating me like that. It makes me afraid of people and I want to hide. I hate it.

 

[rockytopva]

Father I pray blessings on this request in Jesus name I pray. Also taking these needs before God in prayer on the 1:15PM bbnradio.org Family Altar program.

 

[LaSorcia]

My thread was moved with no notice? I posted on prayer wall. I need some prayer please. Maybe I should post in controversial theology or politics so it will actually get read.

 

[LaSorcia]

Anyone?

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

I hate verbal abuse. Arguing is not the same as verbal abuse. Verbal abuse makes me cry all day, and not want to be around that person. It makes me feel like a piece of dirt. It makes me feel ashamed in front of God. It ruins relationships. It destroys my enthusiasm and makes me feel so alone. It makes me wonder what is wrong with me that I can't see. I wonder what makes people think they can get away with treating me like that. It makes me afraid of people and I want to hide. I hate it.

Just prayed for you

If you don't mind me asking, are you being abused by your husband or another family member? (You don't have to answer here unless you are able to clear your browsing history if you are using a computer at home). Either way you were not designed to be a verbal 'punchbag' (God loves you, you are fearfully and wonderfully made) and please hold onto the fact that the abuser is basically mirroring his/her insecurities towards you. As you have said it is an attempt to steal your confidence, enthusiasm and your peace.

Verbal abuse is still abuse (I know as I am a survivor from it) and whilst there may not be physical scars it still hurts. If you are involved in a relationship where this is taking place, please do not hesitate to contact organisations such as Domestic Abuse Hotline on 1-800-799-7233.

Keeping you lifted in prayer.

 

[LaSorcia]

Thank you so much, Lotuspetal. I'm glad it's not an issue for you any more.

 

[Mary7]

I have been told that verbal abuse is just as painful as physical abuse but you cannot see the bruises. I don't know what your situation is, but you might want to set some boundaries as to what you allow others to do to you. Been there, done that and still trying to avoid abuse from the same person. Dr. Henry Cloud (I think that is his name.. been a long time) has a good book called 'Boundaries'
A good article:
How to Deal With Impossible People
http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Impossible-People

 

[LaSorcia]

It is painful, you're right. It only seems to happen if I ever have any complaint or problem with the relationship. Everything, even healthy I-statements of my own thoughts and feelings, seems to be viewed as a complete condemnation of every personal characteristic! This, plus a fear of confrontation, leads to screaming, name-calling, not respecting boundaries, blaming, denial, calling me crazy, ascribing horrible motive to me, etc.

I have tried to set boundaries by saying that healthy communication has ceased, let's continue this later. I've tried writing instead of talking and was told that was too difficult to respond to. So now I have ceased completely sharing anything I would like to improve in the relationship. This, of course, makes me snippity at times, feeling so lonely and isolated and rejected. Then more screaming. This has been over years, not months.

I am going to work on myself and keep doing healthy things, meanwhile praying for this person. But I need help recovering when it happens. I have ptsd, and I don't want to associate with others after an episode.

 

[zippy2]

It is painful, you're right. It only seems to happen if I ever have any complaint or problem with the relationship. Everything, even healthy I-statements of my own thoughts and feelings, seems to be viewed as a complete condemnation of every personal characteristic! This, plus a fear of confrontation, leads to screaming, name-calling, not respecting boundaries, blaming, denial, calling me crazy, ascribing horrible motive to me, etc.

I have tried to set boundaries by saying that healthy communication has ceased, let's continue this later. I've tried writing instead of talking and was told that was too difficult to respond to. So now I have ceased completely sharing anything I would like to improve in the relationship. This, of course, makes me snippity at times, feeling so lonely and isolated and rejected. Then more screaming. This has been over years, not months.

I am going to work on myself and keep doing healthy things, meanwhile praying for this person. But I need help recovering when it happens. I have ptsd, and I don't want to associate with others after an episode.

Verbal abuse is most destructive. After a period of time the victim can even begin to believe what the abuser says! It is very hard to combat. When I was in that situation, I did not understand that I could even leave the person who was abusing me! Never dawned on me until a pastor and my doc said that was possible. It was like somebody set me free!
" You mean I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS"? Verbal abuse twists your mind and hurts your soul. I will pray for you LaSorica. I have been where you are.

 

[LaSorcia]

Thank you, prayer helps. We have both had to overcome childhood issues. It took me a long time to even think of it as verbal abuse instead of arguing. It doesn't happen very often, thank God, but I don't want it to happen at all.

 

[MissRowy]

Verbal abuse and mental abuse do more damage than physical abuse IMO. My ex used to do it to me. Sometimes I wish he had hit me instead of abusing me mentally