Venting

[sr. scholls]

This is just what I'm feeling like right now, it's pretty censored though. I guess I'll have to explain a little about that.

I've been having a really rough time lately with a bunch of stuff in my life, (none of it being in my control). I've kind of felt like I haven't really had a good Christian friend that I can really talk everything out to because of another thing that's happened. I entrusted a few of my closest friends with a huge, huge problem in my life, thinking they wouldn't tell anyone, and they did. I feel really, truly betrayed, but I don't want to hurt their feelings by coming right out and rebuking them. I've just been feeling pretty alone as far as a the "deep, spiritual friendship" department. I wish I could just go right on out and say what's going on, but there's that huge part of me that doesn't want to be vulnerable. I've been learning very quickly that I really am vulnerable, and it just makes me mad that I can't even express my anger and so forth without the worry about the awkwardness I would face If I told someone about all of it. I don't know if anyone here can follow that, but, as the title of this thread says, I'm venting. Mostly towards God though, I've just felt these deep burdens on me that I don't feel like I can get removed because of the betrayal I've experienced. It's frustrating to say the least. Anywho, I'm sort of done with my babbling now. Thanks for reading lol.

 

 

[Auntie]

I know exactly how you feel, so you've vented for both us.

 

[kingcaboose]

some times the best way to deal with things is to go to an anomous source like a forum or the like to let things out. Venting is very important because the longer you hold things in the longer they eat at you until they consume you. It's hard to face the ones that have hurt you, especially when they claim to be helping when all they do is turn your hurt in to gossip.

You can express this all to God, as I'm sure you have, but I know that that is only half of the way to relieving the burden. Unfortunately the other half is facing the people who have caused you this grief. If you do so, discuss how what they did made you feel and dont go seeking an apology rather go to make them realise that their actions caused you pain and that you wish to discuss it.

Trust me knowing that they understand why they have hurt you can mean a lot more than an apology.

 

[VOW]

Sr Scholls:

Oh MY. I think we all have experienced this, to one extreme or another. And it hurts. It especially hurts because not only did your friend violate the trust of a friend, but it's almost like a betrayal of the LOVE of a friendship. In my case, I give a LOT to my friends. I love them. They are a part of me, and I cherish that. But when I am in need, I like to see some of that in return. When it isn't, I'm shattered.

That is one thing that makes the love of God for all of us so wonderful. It's the PERFECT love, and He will NEVER betray us. Our human friends have their limitations, their frailties. The day I need to lean on a friend because of problems at work, well, she may have just gotten the bill for the transmission in her car. Kinda hard to lean on someone who isn't very steady herself!

But GOD is there, steady, dependable, eternal. Not only that, we don't have to worry about phrasing our words so as to avoid hurting His feelings. His shoulders are so huge, they can accommodate all our tears, and His chestis sturdy enough for us to pound our fists against him in frustration and rage!

It's even okay to be ANGRY with God. He has plans for all of us, but they must be in His time. And often, we want it, DEMAND it, in OUR time. Yell at Him! He can take it!

Other than tantrums, though, there's another method I use, and it has given me the peace I've needed to go on. I attend the noon Mass at the Church near where I work. The weekday Masses are shorter, and there aren't as many people there. I slip into the pew, fall to my knees, and I lay all my burdens at the foot of the Cross. It's almost like an invisible backpack, and I just set it down. And in my prayers, I see the Blood of Christ flowing over my burdens. All during Mass, my shoulders are eased, and I feel the tension flowing from them. Afterwards, I mentally pick up my burdens again and go back to work.

They're always lighter, too!



Peace be with you,
~VOW

 

[ZiSunka]

I know what you're saying.

My best Christian friend is so into "victory living," I don't dare tell her about my struggles. She gets really put out and accuses me of not being a "victorious Christian." Her solution is always to pray and fast more and my struggles will go away.

But sometimes struggles are caused by actually living the Christian life--we are strangers here and face problems that come from living differently than others.

Betrayal is the worst human pain. When your friends betrayed your secret, you joined the fellowship of suffering that Christ founded when he was betrayed by his beloved Judas. He dreaded the betrayal so much that he said in the garden that he was troubled nearly to death by the anticipation of it. No one who has not experienced betrayal can fully know this fellowship of suffering with Christ.

But God did not cause your pain, your alleged friends did. It was their choice to betray you--not God's.

Venting toward God is okay to a point. It's okay to tell Him how you hurt, how lonely you are and how much you want Him to help you get significant Christians in your life, but it's not okay to blame Him for what your friends did.

Roll your burdens onto us here at CF. We've all been here for each other, and we want to be here for you, too. I can't tell you how many times I've been blessed by the loving support of the men and women of CF.

These are my signficant Christian friendships!

 

[carmen]

Yes I have been there. Know exactly what you are talking about. And God does heal all the pain. It does take time though but what ever you do satan uses offenses to make your Love grow cold. So what ever you do forgive and forgive bless and bless.

Reading I think in Jeremiah about how the props are taken away from Israel and how the temple stands with out them leaning totally. On God. may help. As some may have material props other people holding them up. Know that God is drawing you closer to him into a deeper relationship.
People like what you have come across will only hold you back from a closer walk with the Lord.
Trust in the Lord with all of your heart. Dont put your trust in man for it brings a snare. It is only the Lord that can deliver us.
Also proverbs 1 speaks of the four types of people the simple, mockers or scorners, wise and the fools. God warns us there of what we will receive from all these different types.
Be as gentle as a lamb and as wise as a serpent There are some wonderful people here. Who will just pray. And not condem.Wise people.
I will be praying for you as it saddens me to hear of God's people in pain.

 

[sr. scholls]

Thanks everyone. What you guys have said really helps me alot. Lol, I have a kind of unusual question. It's really hard to put it into the right words though, but here goes. Has anyone ever mentioned something or brought up a touchy subject to you that just made you cry? It's happened to me alot recently, and lol I just cry because I can't stop crying. It's really weird, it's like a trigger word or something that makes the tears flow. Well anyhow, I don't really know where I was going with this, so I'll just leave it at that.

 

[carmen]

God is healing your past hurts by the sounds of it. Praise the Lord. What a wonderful God he is.

 

[mel3]

Sara, when your feeling betrayed it does hurt. When a really good friend betrays you it feels even worse. Why do you feel like you can not talk to them on a personal level and tell them what this has made you feel like? For whatever the reason, maybe just sharing this here makes you feel better. Don't let yourself get so discouraged that you can not trust anyone. Trust God and take your problem to him. When you need to talk, come to a forum such as this one. I believe that this is sort of a healing ministry and we all truly are concerned with one another. Hope your day will be better. Don't worry, be happy......

 

[sr. scholls]

Yeah, I must say I do feel much better, it's still there though, but God has already helped me get through it. I feel that missing youth functions and what not from time to time help alot also...don't ask me why lol.

 

[Gerry]

This is inspires, awesome, and completely true and solid sound advice. Thanks for this.

Originally posted by kingcaboose
some times the best way to deal with things is to go to an anomous source like a forum or the like to let things out. Venting is very important because the longer you hold things in the longer they eat at you until they consume you. It's hard to face the ones that have hurt you, especially when they claim to be helping when all they do is turn your hurt in to gossip.

You can express this all to God, as I'm sure you have, but I know that that is only half of the way to relieving the burden. Unfortunately the other half is facing the people who have caused you this grief. If you do so, discuss how what they did made you feel and dont go seeking an apology rather go to make them realise that their actions caused you pain and that you wish to discuss it.

Trust me knowing that they understand why they have hurt you can mean a lot more than an apology.