- Sep 5, 2020
- 10
- 5
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
My brother is periodically upset with me for not wanting to engage in conversation regarding his eldest daughter. I desperately wish to avoid the subject of my niece in any way to avoid the temptation of lying AND to avoid telling the truth.
I live very far away from my baby brother. He moves around a lot. He is a US Marine. He and my sister-in-law are Christian. I have 4 nieces and nephews, his children, two boys (ages 4 and 15), two girls (ages 8 and 18). My 18 year old niece has always been different from her other siblings in attitude, character, ambition. All details I know about her are directly from her parents and my few observations.
As my eldest niece and nephew have discovered different interests in life I have supported those interests with purchases, as I am too far away to actually be there. When 15 year old nephew was into skateboarding I bought 5 skateboards, wheels, bearings, trucks, and 20 pairs of skate shoes. He plays baseball and I pay for summer pitching and hitting private instruction and have bought him a custom De Marini bat. Nephew has gratitude.
For oldest niece I have bought many different things she has "needed" over the years for each big interest/hobby change in her life...pro grade art supplies, a beautiful classic wooden easle, paints, a top of the line premium priced ceramic hair iron, turntable. When 18 year old niece fell in love with music..at her request, I bought her a Fender Malibu acoustic electric with a guitar strap, cords, picks, pedal, a three-guitar stand, amp, and lessons. She never used the lessons. She did not like the Malibu guitar and had her parents get her an additional cheaper one that did not look so "acoustic".
Based on the information I have from my brother I view my eldest niece to be a suffering individual who makes horrible choices.
Niece reinvents herself with every PCS move. She reverts to a persona of darker "gothic" tendencies according to my brother. Every other move she pivots back to a conservative preppy persona. With every relocation, her parents have her participate in weekly Christian youth groups.
She is unkind to her younger siblings. She naturally gravitates to individuals who hold anti-family, anti-American, anti-Christian bias. Throughout her life she has had seasons where she self mutilates/cuts herself. She has in the past, more than once through the years, threatened suicide.
I babysat my nieces and nephews for two weeks, about 18 months ago. The now 18 year old pulled some typical teenage silliness and also additionally some really mean behaviors; avoidance of chores, tricked me in to doing her chores by lying, trying to wear inappropriate clothing to church functions and lied to me that her parents usually allowed that type of dress, made the two youngest siblings cry with her cruelty. ("I'm the boss of you" type emotional manipulation.) Based on every single piece of information my brother has provided through the years and my very brief experience seeing her manipulate her little brother and sister I wish not to supplement her pursuits anymore. For the time being I think it is best. Time will tell what will become of my niece based on the choices she makes for herself in life, and whether or not she follows Christ's will for her.
I have always been very close to my brother. I have noticed through the years, that just before my niece is about to again revert to unpleasant behaviors, he confronts me as to why I never want to talk about her. Brother doesn't even realize that this has become a pattern.
Right now niece is in conservative mode and is/was dating a popular football player on the high school team for this 2021-2022 school year. Football star broke up with my niece last month. He is a champion athlete and as a HS junior has so far recieved 8 -D1 scholarships towards this end of his junior year. I had been told by my brother, that niece had been making some interesting new friends. This may have led to the break up, along with her not having any solid direction or future plan for academics or her life in general. Successful kids and their parents want to engage with other successful kids and parents.
Whatever the case may be I would rather have my brother upset with me because I will avoid the subject. I never want to tell him my thoughts, and ultimately that is what he wants.
Thank you for reading my vent. This makes me very sad. With me being so far away from them I dont know why my brother cares one way or the other about what I think of his daughter. So it always surprises me when he is bothered by my not wanting to discuss her. When he brings it up and we get cross ways, me wanting to shut down the subject, it is a sure sign that my niece is about to make another awful life choice.
He is head of his household. My opinion on what happens in his house does not matter nor should it. I prefer not to talk about the niece, because no good will come of it between us. She is in Christ's hands.
My brother wont let it go and as time passes, again bringing it up costs our relationship dearly. Sometimes I feel as if my brother thinks that my unconditional love for niece means I should give her unconditional approval. I do not want to discuss the subject at all, for it brings harm not good. I say let time pass and all will reveal itself.
If she ends up a successful minister who cares what I thought all these years? If she ends up terribly who cares what I thought all these years?
I pray he just lets it go and focuses on the children.
Dear reader have a Blessed day!
I live very far away from my baby brother. He moves around a lot. He is a US Marine. He and my sister-in-law are Christian. I have 4 nieces and nephews, his children, two boys (ages 4 and 15), two girls (ages 8 and 18). My 18 year old niece has always been different from her other siblings in attitude, character, ambition. All details I know about her are directly from her parents and my few observations.
As my eldest niece and nephew have discovered different interests in life I have supported those interests with purchases, as I am too far away to actually be there. When 15 year old nephew was into skateboarding I bought 5 skateboards, wheels, bearings, trucks, and 20 pairs of skate shoes. He plays baseball and I pay for summer pitching and hitting private instruction and have bought him a custom De Marini bat. Nephew has gratitude.
For oldest niece I have bought many different things she has "needed" over the years for each big interest/hobby change in her life...pro grade art supplies, a beautiful classic wooden easle, paints, a top of the line premium priced ceramic hair iron, turntable. When 18 year old niece fell in love with music..at her request, I bought her a Fender Malibu acoustic electric with a guitar strap, cords, picks, pedal, a three-guitar stand, amp, and lessons. She never used the lessons. She did not like the Malibu guitar and had her parents get her an additional cheaper one that did not look so "acoustic".
Based on the information I have from my brother I view my eldest niece to be a suffering individual who makes horrible choices.
Niece reinvents herself with every PCS move. She reverts to a persona of darker "gothic" tendencies according to my brother. Every other move she pivots back to a conservative preppy persona. With every relocation, her parents have her participate in weekly Christian youth groups.
She is unkind to her younger siblings. She naturally gravitates to individuals who hold anti-family, anti-American, anti-Christian bias. Throughout her life she has had seasons where she self mutilates/cuts herself. She has in the past, more than once through the years, threatened suicide.
I babysat my nieces and nephews for two weeks, about 18 months ago. The now 18 year old pulled some typical teenage silliness and also additionally some really mean behaviors; avoidance of chores, tricked me in to doing her chores by lying, trying to wear inappropriate clothing to church functions and lied to me that her parents usually allowed that type of dress, made the two youngest siblings cry with her cruelty. ("I'm the boss of you" type emotional manipulation.) Based on every single piece of information my brother has provided through the years and my very brief experience seeing her manipulate her little brother and sister I wish not to supplement her pursuits anymore. For the time being I think it is best. Time will tell what will become of my niece based on the choices she makes for herself in life, and whether or not she follows Christ's will for her.
I have always been very close to my brother. I have noticed through the years, that just before my niece is about to again revert to unpleasant behaviors, he confronts me as to why I never want to talk about her. Brother doesn't even realize that this has become a pattern.
Right now niece is in conservative mode and is/was dating a popular football player on the high school team for this 2021-2022 school year. Football star broke up with my niece last month. He is a champion athlete and as a HS junior has so far recieved 8 -D1 scholarships towards this end of his junior year. I had been told by my brother, that niece had been making some interesting new friends. This may have led to the break up, along with her not having any solid direction or future plan for academics or her life in general. Successful kids and their parents want to engage with other successful kids and parents.
Whatever the case may be I would rather have my brother upset with me because I will avoid the subject. I never want to tell him my thoughts, and ultimately that is what he wants.
Thank you for reading my vent. This makes me very sad. With me being so far away from them I dont know why my brother cares one way or the other about what I think of his daughter. So it always surprises me when he is bothered by my not wanting to discuss her. When he brings it up and we get cross ways, me wanting to shut down the subject, it is a sure sign that my niece is about to make another awful life choice.
He is head of his household. My opinion on what happens in his house does not matter nor should it. I prefer not to talk about the niece, because no good will come of it between us. She is in Christ's hands.
My brother wont let it go and as time passes, again bringing it up costs our relationship dearly. Sometimes I feel as if my brother thinks that my unconditional love for niece means I should give her unconditional approval. I do not want to discuss the subject at all, for it brings harm not good. I say let time pass and all will reveal itself.
If she ends up a successful minister who cares what I thought all these years? If she ends up terribly who cares what I thought all these years?
I pray he just lets it go and focuses on the children.
Dear reader have a Blessed day!
