Vent

[Phreakx07]

This is an awful time for me. First & foremost my father passed away the day before Father's Day. I hadn't talked to him in almost a year since he moved to Florida from Indiana. Him & my mother seperated when I was very young. I used to visit him periodically through my early childhood & adolescence until my brother & I found illegal drugs at his house. My brother followed his footsteps & starting using drugs also. My brother has had a drug addiction for the past 6 years.

Tomorrow is the showing for my father & my brother managed to get arrested tonight. I feel like my family is cursed. My dad supposedly shot himself, but I don't know what to believe because I never really got to know my dad. I don't like explaining how my father died because I almost feel ashamed, but he was a good person. This is very difficult for me to cope with so I needed to vent.

 

[Warrior Poet]

Vent away bro...... Im sorry to hear about such a turn of events, thats harsh. Hang in there though. Things like this come in sperts, seems like everything bad that can happen does so all at once. Murphy, dang you.
Well you have found a good place to vent, welcoming with open arms, and open ears (eyes in this case).
Hang in there Phreak....its nice to have you with us.
By the way it only takes ONE to break the "curse".

/me extends hand to Phreakx07

Warrior Poet

 

[Katty]

I know what it feels like to have everything fall into your lap all at the same time. I had to deal with that in the last year. Right before I turned 18, my supposedly "THE ONE" relationship fell apart, my college plans changed, and I lost people in my life too in the oncoming months. My brother also got introuble with the law. I know its hard to not fall into the rut of "why me?" or "Why do bad things happen to good people?" but as cliche as it is, you begin to grow when you stop asking "why?" and you begin asking "What can I learn from this?" and "How can I grow from this?" Right now things seem bleak and never ending but rest assured, theres a purpose for every bump on the road... when things are the most complicated, you grow the most. If the things that happened in our lives were always so easy, we'd forget those lessons.

Right now, as I look back on the last year and a half, I've come a long way... and you know what? For the first time in a very very long time, I'm truly happy with where I'm at. Things are where they're supposed to be and if I didn't struggle with those issues a year ago... I wouldn't be the person I am today. No regrets. As hard as everything is now, hang in there... there's a light at the end of the tunnel, no doubt. Things will fall into place where they need to be and people will enter where they will and those will be the things that you cherish most. Hang in there.

~Katty

 

[Kaonashi]

Vent away because I know how you feel. Things have been hetic around here as well.
I've had to replace my hot water heater, air conditioner(inside and outside), BOTH toliets, and my basement flooded while I was on vacation because of my hot water heater rusted out, and on top of that my Mom lost her job and she's the only one in the family who had a job in the first place. I feel like screaming Why me? at God so many times.

 

[Phreakx07]

Thanks for your support. I made it through the showing, although my brother couldn't be there because he is in jail right now. I don't find myself asking "why me" as much as "how's come?" In fact a lot of times I'd rather take the fall than someone else. I just have a lot of unanswered questions & blanks in my life. I don't remember much from my childhood & it seems like I repress my emotions. I don't feel like I can express how I feel. I wish I knew how to "let go."

 

[Butterfly4Christ]

You are most welcome to vent. I know a little about how you feel. I lost my father 5 days before Christmas in 2001. I was devestated. And then that Jan. I found myself carrying another child from my then boyfriend of 7 years. To make matters worse when I told him he dumped me and told me he had someone else. I thought at that moment life couldn't get worse, but I was wrong two weeks after I gave birth to my daughter my grandmother passed. And throughout all of this my younger brother was in and out of jail. It was a stressing and confusing time trying to take care of a new baby and my emotional needs and trying to be supportive to my mother (it was her mother that passed). But I said all that to say this. God brought me out . There were days when I didn't think that I could take it and days when I didn't want to go on, but through it all God was faithful and He never left my side. I hope you will be encouraged and keep you head up. Just know that our Father in Heaven will never put more on us than we can bear.

 

[Katty]

"Letting go" is a process that takes more than one night. You never really "get over" things, you just learn how to live without them. I'm sorry that you have to learn all this in this way... As cliche as it is, you'll grow throughout this time. Hindsight is 20/20 and in the end, you can look back and actually see that "OH! THAT'S what you were trying to teach me God!" With the things that happened during your childhood though... I encourage you to find someone who can help you to sort through it all. You have to be okay with yourself before you can move on from this point.

~Katty