A friend of mine has 4 kids, the oldest is 14. Beginning at 12, her oldest who was in grade 6, had to mind a 8, 6 & 4 year old everyday after school from 3:30 until 6:30 when mum got home. Single mother I can understand the need etc Now that she's 14 and the other kids are 10, 8 and 6, she's with them more than my friend, their mother. She doesn't see anything wrong with going out 2-3 nights from work, until after 10pm. She expects her 9th grader to make sure the house is clean, dinner is cooked, kids do their homework, have a bath and in bed. If the younger kids choose not to listen to their big sister my friend lays into her daughter.
Now at this I got mad. She's 14 & she's taken on the role of mother so that her own mother can go out and have fun. I told her it shouldn't be the expected plight of the oldest child to have to care for her mother's younger children. I can so see that girl who's very smart for 14, running off with the first boy she meets and having sex too young just to get away from her homelife. Low and behold, now she's 16, moved out, dropped out and living with her boyfriend, using her 9th grade education to work at Zellers.
How much "babysitting" should be expected out of the oldest child? What would you consider too much? When does it become that the parent is expecting too much and depending too much on their oldest child?