Using divorce in job interviews, and mentioning you

[olds8598]

I have been interviewing to get a new job. In two recent and separate interviews with two separate companies I was asked to describe a situation I had to overcome and how did I do it. I responded with my divorce. It is the most profound, most current, and the first-thing-that-comes-to-mind situation. I also believe by sharing this personal scenario, it cuts me away from the rest of the candidates. Finally and for my own personal reason, I wanted to use this extremely negative heartache for good!

I didn’t go into details, just the basics: it was something I didn’t expect, didn’t want, and was forced to deal with. Then I correlated it to benefits and values I am offering them: being mentorable, an overcomer, and an achiever. In making this correlation, I mentioned the forum/you guys. I didn’t mention the forum by name. I said I sought out the help and advice of other folks who have gone through a divorce. “The benefit for you [Mr. Interviewer] is that I am teachable and will come to you or [another superior] and say, ‘I have this situation. How did you successfully deal with it?’” With one company, the VP said he saw no reason not to make me an offer once the background check is complete. With the other, I have been moved to their third and final interview by the Director.



Thanks everyone! Thank you, most of all, Jesus Christ!


P.S. Since I have no criminal history, the resume was honest, etc. I expect to get that job offer within a week or so. Then this will be me:

 

[ValleyGal]

That's so great, Olds! Let us know how it goes.

I think it depends on the type of job and the situation for whether or not to use divorce in an interview. I think I lost out on a great job by bringing up the fact that my son has a severe anxiety disorder and I was a great advocate in accessing services for him - I'm a social worker. Not a good scenario for me to use. So the only thing I'd say is for others - be cautious about using your divorce in an interview, and make sure the benefits are relevant to the job you're applying for, like Olds did.

 

[dayhiker]

That's great olds ... way to go.

 

[olds8598]

Thank you, Valley Gal and dayhiker.

 

[Autumnleaf]

For many divorce means a big failure. I'm not sure I would go there in a job interview. If it worked lets us know. If it didn't you might want to use other examples.

 

[olds8598]

I am happy, thrilled, and relieved to announce I obtained the job with the company whose VP I spoke with ! The recruiter called me today to say the background check was completed. I start in two weeks.

I thank the good Lord for this opportunity to get out of a hellish job into a very well known company, more money, MUCH more opportunities for career advancement, and health benefits starting Day 1.

Let me say, I am not suggesting or advocating anyone that is interviewing for a job use their divorce in the interview. That is a personal decision. For me and for the reasons I stated, I felt using my breakup was the appropriate choice for an answer to the "overcoming" question.

It was also a matter of feeling comfortable with the interviewer. I felt this in both interviews. If I didn't feel good about the interviewer, I wouldn't have used my divorce as the answer.

For me, it was a combination of 1. using a negative for good and 2. converting that utilization into a detailed benefit/value which I am bringing to the company. If I just mentioned the divorce and that I sought mentorship to overcome it, it would have been an ok answer. I made it an excellent answer by creating the breakup and the search for help into a benefit for the company, thereby showing the value of my candidacy.

The methodology of my answer IS something I would advocate or recommend to those who are job interviewing. Don't just answer "I did X." Give details to 'X' along with the resulting positive outcome, and relay it as a benefit to the company. So the answer would be "I did X, specifically Actions 1-2-3 and the positive result was A-B-C. The benefit(s) for you Mr./Ms. Interviewer is 'this, this, and this.'" BTW: You not only show value to the company in terms of action, you show self-confidence in your ability to do the job right.

 

[olds8598]

This victory is God's. I am just the vessel He used to accomplish it.

 

[ValleyGal]

Congratulations! That's great news! God's blessings never run out....

 

[BigDaddy4]

I know the feeling of getting out of a toxic job and into one that you love. Congrats!

 

[olds8598]

Congratulations! That's great news! God's blessings never run out....

Thanks, ValleyGal.

I forgot where I read something to the effect that after all the praying for, waiting on, maintaining faith and belief in God providing something--all of that becomes instant history at the moment of His provision. Additionally, your faith, belief, and trust in the Lord goes through the roof. I can attest to all this.

 

[olds8598]

I know the feeling of getting out of a toxic job and into one that you love. Congrats!

Isn't it a great feeling, BigDaddy4? ! I am glad for you in your situation you were able to get out. Talk about toxic--I have four MS Word pages of offenses against me in the year and a half I worked at this place. Honestly: it IS their loss.

 

[dayhiker]

olds, congrats on the new job. Praise God.

 

[olds8598]

As things got positive with these two companies and a job offer was appearing imminent, thoughts of my marriage, divorce, and ex-wife started creeping in. Interestingly these "creeping" thoughts did not come after using the divorce in the interviews. They creeped in when something good happened: a responding email, getting bumped up to the next level of interviews, etc. I am not surprised. What I have gone through with the current job and my constant attempts at getting a new one consumed virtually all my mind for the past several months. Now that this big issue was getting solved, the old big issue-- everything surrounding my divorce and recovery from it--came to the fore front.

Happily I can say that this old big issue is going once again on the back-burner. Whenever I start a new job, I throw myself into it so I can "hit the wall running." Additionally, there is a massive job training program involved, so this will take up most of my mental time.

I have no immediate plans to start dating again. I am alone, not lonely. I (and my wallet ) have enjoyed spending $ only on me. I also enjoy the time I spend alone. It's almost like a rediscovery of myself as an individual, as opposed to being a husband. I want to start doing well on the new gig, and eventually work on getting my own business back up and running.

 

[olds8598]

olds, congrats on the new job. Praise God.

Thank you, and "Amen!"

 

[LinkH]

I'm glad you got the job, but personally, I think using a divorce to answer one of those questions is risky. If you do a STAR interview, the closer you can respond to the situations you'll be handling in the job, the better. Talking about divorce could open up a can of worms in the interviewers mind. They could wonder about your emotional state, etc.