update

[kandcmom]

Hello all,

Just an update as I wasn't feeling well last week and had left a post. I had been suffering from intrusive violent thoughts about my kids again and I HATE when I have trouble with my OCD. I can have episodes of feeling pretty good but lately have been struggling again.
I am currently feeling a little less anxious but now I am feeling guilty when I am with my family. I really can't enjoy my time with them because of the the thoughts I have and I feel guilty for not being a better mother, a normal mother, who can love and be with their kids without fears of hurting them. Even though I know OCD sufferers don't act out their fears, the images seem so real, so predictive of what I could become. I wish I could feel better and feel normal and enjoy life. I want to just cherish this time I have with my children and husband and not always be filled with fear. :o

Thanks to all of you for listening and any support is appreciated.

 

[LadyL]

I know exactly how you feel and I'm sorry you are having a tough time with your OCD. I am glad to read that it's getting better, and I hope the guilt will disappear soon as well.

The one thing that I've found happens is once the intrusive thoughts stop, then the guilt comes, either way it's torture, right?

Peace is what I pray for you.

 

[Sonicwhite]

Are you on any Anti-Depressent's? I would suggest that. IDK if you are but I go thru spells to were it waxes and wanes. I know how you feel with the intrusive thought's and I'm pretty sure you have heard all the comeback's that prove you are a loving mom. I wanted to get off drug's and found out the hard way, that, that wasn't a good idea. Other forums will teach you to endure and stuff like that but I believe in breathing space over ERP. There's better day's in the future and the anxiety never last's as long as you think it would.

 

[RuthD]

I know how agonizing those intrusive thoughts and images are. I, too, suffered with them for so long. Don't despair, there is help. Jesus will help you as you get even closer to him. Jesus also works through others. Not to offend, but seeing a counselor and psychiatrist can help. I don't know if you do or not. If you do take meds. sometimes they need to be changed or adjusted so you feel as good as possible. I'm so sorry you are suffering.

 

[kandcmom]

Thanks everyone for your help. Yes I do take antidepressants. I am on Luvox and I take Ativan as needed for anxiety. I have suffered with this for 16 years and just when I think I'm getting better it rears it's ugly head again. I just wish I could enjoy life, I have such a great life and I can't really enjoy it.
Thanks again everyone.