Update on after the surgery...

[UberLutheran]

If you ever have the "opportunity" to have surgery on the opening to your rear end, turn down the opportunity.

The surgery wasn't so bad (of course, I was asleep for the whole thing!), but the recovery from surgery is absolutely, without a doubt, the most PAINFUL thing I've ever gone through!

I'm glad I had the opportunity to go through the birthing classes with my best friend (a woman) whose husband was going to be out of country when she delivered their child. I never thought I would be actually USING the Lamaze breathing techniques (which I do when I go to the bathroom)!

Tomorrow or Thursday I find out the results of the pathology report. I keep having this vision of being on a commercial for the Cancer Treatment Centers of America and saying, "When I found out I had butt cancer, I just... ...had to sit down! I felt like I had been rear-ended! But I found out about Cancer Treatment Centers of America, and the latest diets and treatments available; and I realized that having cancer of the butt is absolutely no worse than having a lobuttomy!"

 

[naotmaa]

Hehe. Well I hope you start feeling better very soon.

 

[BAFRIEND]

Thanks for sharing that.

Reminds me of a line in a song by the band Cult:

What you do is what you get, don't be surprised by that effect.

 

[naotmaa]

Thanks for sharing that.

Reminds me of a line in a song by the band Cult:

What you do is what you get, don't be surprised by that effect.

 

[UberLutheran]

Thanks for sharing that.

Reminds me of a line in a song by the band Cult:

What you do is what you get, don't be surprised by that effect.

I know this is going to be incredibly hard for someone like you to believe, but gay people get all the diseases that straight people get.

Including cancer (which I found out I don't have).

Including herniated rectums (which I did have) which become infected and can perforate (which mine almost did).

How does one get a herniated rectum? By getting really, really, really, REALLY constipated — as I did back in the early 1980s, again in the mid 1980s, and also in the mid 1990s. I would love for you to be able to use me as the Poster Boy For Why God Sends Diseases Down Upon Homosexuals, but if you get really, really, really, REALLY constipated, you may end up with a herniated rectum — and when you do, I will smile a smile of pure schadenfreude when you are in the hospital recovering.

 

[naotmaa]

Including cancer (which I found out I don't have).

Good to hear.

 

[Ohioprof]

I know this is going to be incredibly hard for someone like you to believe, but gay people get all the diseases that straight people get.

Including cancer (which I found out I don't have).

Including herniated rectums (which I did have) which become infected and can perforate (which mine almost did).

How does one get a herniated rectum? By getting really, really, really, REALLY constipated — as I did back in the early 1980s, again in the mid 1980s, and also in the mid 1990s. I would love for you to be able to use me as the Poster Boy For Why God Sends Diseases Down Upon Homosexuals, but if you get really, really, really, REALLY constipated, you may end up with a herniated rectum — and when you do, I will smile a smile of pure schadenfreude when you are in the hospital recovering.

I am sorry you have been in so much pain, but I am so very glad to hear that you do not have cancer. That is a blessing, sweetie.

I don't know you other than from your posts in the forums. I find you witty and interesting. And I am sending positive thoughts your way for a speedy recovery. I am holding you in the light, as the Quakers do.

 

[D.W.Washburn]

Thanks for the update! (And the smile).

God bless you.

 

[KEPLER]

Uber,

I'm glad to hear that you are safely through, and that it wasn't cancer. Praying for a speedy recovery.

K

 

[synger]

I thank God that you do not have cancer, Uber. *hugs* Have a speedy recovery! Use it as an excuse to eat lots of ice cream. Ice cream makes any boo-boo heal faster. (just ask my 6 yo)

 

[Tonks]

Prayers for a speedy recovery, UL.

 

[MsVicki]

Have a speedy recovery!

 

[Pogue]

Hope you get better soon!

 

[ContentInHim]

Wow, that is good news!

But (hee hee) didn't they give you a donut to sit on?

ROFLOL!

 

[CaDan]

Wow, that is good news!

But (hee hee) didn't they give you a donut to sit on?

ROFLOL!

Seriously, if you don't have a donut, get one.

 

[imind]

"When I found out I had butt cancer, I just... ...had to sit down! I felt like I had been rear-ended! But I found out about Cancer Treatment Centers of America, and the latest diets and treatments available; and I realized that having cancer of the butt is absolutely no worse than having a lobuttomy!"

rofl.

happy to know its not cancer, and that you're feeling butter.

 

[Mling]

I'm glad to hear that you don't have butt cancer and that you're recovering. And that you seem able to find some amusement in it.

 

[Brieuse]

I missed this thread.

Uber, I hope things are going ok, and may God be with you at all times through this.

 

[BAFRIEND]

I hope you are feeling better, now.

 

[dpartlow]

I know this is going to be incredibly hard for someone like you to believe, but gay people get all the diseases that straight people get.

Including cancer (which I found out I don't have).

Including herniated rectums (which I did have) which become infected and can perforate (which mine almost did).

How does one get a herniated rectum? By getting really, really, really, REALLY constipated — as I did back in the early 1980s, again in the mid 1980s, and also in the mid 1990s. I would love for you to be able to use me as the Poster Boy For Why God Sends Diseases Down Upon Homosexuals, but if you get really, really, really, REALLY constipated, you may end up with a herniated rectum — and when you do, I will smile a smile of pure schadenfreude when you are in the hospital recovering.

I agree that was a bit mean spirited - and I don't wish painful physical conditions on anyone (no matter how much I may disagree with them). Hope you feal better soon.

I may have to learn those Lamaze methods myself when the kidney stone they found in a recent MRI decides to break free. I'm just hoping I can drink enough cranberry juice to disolve it.