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[cheynems]

Hello everyone, I am new to this forum and would like to ask a couple questions. I am 21 years old as of today and have been thinking a lot about the last few years.

Is it possible that bipolar disorder is manageable without being diagnosed? Am I just being paranoid in thinking that I may have bipolar disorder or am I just now recognizing that for a lot of my life I've had numerous symptoms and perhaps a lot of the issues I've experienced could show that I am bipolar?

I don't know if those questions make a lot of sense, I wasn't sure where to begin. Any encouragement or information of any sort would be amazing, thanks everyone.
-Cheyne

 

[Alive again]

Well, it is not uncommon for bipolar to go undiagnosed until about your age. I personally have bp 2 and way not diagnosed until my mid forties. I had crashed and was unable to work anymore about the age of 35. Looking back I know I had symptoms (suicidal) at age 16 and after diagnosis I could see symptoms back into my childhood. Treatment helps if you are bipolar. If you are concerned, I would highly recommend you go and see a health professional. BP has many symptoms that are similar to other mental illnesses as well, and the health professional will also do a physical screening for anything related that may be causing similar symptoms as well.

Welcome and do not hesitate to post here!

 

[cheynems]

I've seen many symptoms in my childhood as well and still see them today. I just get this feeling that I've been pushing those symptoms aside in hopes that they would just go away but they never have. I wanted to make sure I wasn't being paranoid in thinking that maybe I should see a specialist. Thanks for your encouragement

 

[berry2000]

Maybe if you don't mind you could list some of your symptoms so we could advise you to talk to your health care profession?

Also sometimes it's not the symptoms themselves but the severity and how/if they disrupt your daily life.

Just a thought. Remember we are not doctors so we cannot diagnos but we can share from our expereiences.

 

[cheynems]

It's hard for me to list all the symtpoms because a lot of them come and go, but I'll list the major ones.

Racing thoughts (I have always had a problem with this. It makes it hard for me to sleep and to concentrate, I also have terrible dreams just about every night.)

Total lack of impulse. I can never seem to stay in one place, and have been unable to finish school or keep any long term jobs.

I think, if I am bipolar, the depression side is more prominent. I do have mood swings though, I've noticed. At times it's like I'm suddenly a different person, for no reason.

Bad anxiety. I think that contributes to the racing thoughts and dreams. This includes social anxiety, normally when I'm depressed.

Suicidal thoughts, constantly. These have eased up over the past couple years. I don't typically think about suicide when I'm having a bad day. I generally just look for more attention. When I'm having a good day my mind always seems to wander to the past or to something that makes me think of suicide. This doesn't make sense to me.

There are a lot more, loosely based on the above symptoms. Sorry about taking longer to respond. Thank you.

 

[angelkiss]

Hi Cheyne
Welcome to the forum.

I am no doctor and can't give a diagnosis, but I would advise you to get an evaluation. If you are bipolar or have something else, it's best to catch it now.
I had symptoms as a small child, but due to bipolar not being a common thing then, I was left untreated. It was my mid-twenties when things started going haywire.
Even now that I'm being treated, I still have my symptoms and episodes, but they are not as extreme as they are when I'm not in treatment.
I have racing thoughts (I can't finish one thought before another enters my head. They go so fast that if I talked as my mind would spin, I would make no sense at all.)
My moods are very unpredictable (I can be up one minute, down the next......or it can be hours)
I am impulsive (Especially when in an episode, I can be extremely unpredictable in my actions. It has landed me in some serious life-threatening situations. Then, after it's all said and done, I'm left standing having to explain myself with no explanation and dealing with knowing that I've hurt and worried people who love me most.)

With coping skills and meds, I am able to get over an episode a lot quicker and get through it by doing less harmful things. EX: Now, if I feel I need a change, instead of hopping in the car and driving half way across the US, I do something different to my hair or I change the furniture around, etc.

I hope you enjoy your stay at the forum.
I will keep you in prayer.
God Bless!



P.S.
I forgot to mention: If you do decide to get an evaluation and they do find that you need to start treatment. It can be frustrating when trying to find the right med/meds. There may even be times that you feel like throwing in the towel and just try and go at it alone. Thing is, as frustrating as it can be, if you really need to be on meds and have therapy, it's best to stick with it if you can. To remain untreated can be a lot worse than going through the frustration. The sooner you start, the better off you will be. This illness not only affects the person who has it, but those around them as well.
Take care, and please keep us informed. If you ever need to talk, feel free to pm me.
s and es!!

​

 

[berry2000]

Sounds similar to mine and i am bipolar II or bipolar spectrum. This is harder to diagnos because it often mimics clinical depression. I would get an eval. My worst hypomanic symptom is anxiety, and anger. I am sorry you are struggling with all this. AT times it can seem like an overwhelming burden. Medications and therapy have changed my life. Good luck in talking with your doctor.

 

[cheynems]

Thank you angelkiss and berry2000. I have been able to manage this up until now but it has been getting worse and worse. Any sort of diagnosis would be a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I don't want my life getting to the point where it is unmanageable, although it seems I have reached that point already.

Angelkiss: I can understand about getting into life threatening situations and hurting people, it's all I've done for myself for the past couple years. Numerous times I've packed up my things and left without giving it a second thought and I've hurt my family and friends both. I want nothing more than for a stronger impulse control. This seems to be one of my worst symptoms.

Berry2000: I am still nervous about talking to a specialist, but not nearly as much anymore. Is there anything else I can do to prepare myself before I go in?

Thank you both again for all your support, it's nice to have someone to talk to who understands where I'm coming from.

-Cheyne

P.S. What is the bipolar screening like? Or is it a more universal screening to find out the exact mental ailment?

 

[Alive again]

Mental health diagnosis is based on symptoms you report. Whether through a paper "test" or just talking about what it is with the doc.
There is not and xray or blood test at this point. So I would encourage you to print up your post and use it to help you discuss your symptoms with the doc. I would encourage you to see a psychiatrist or Nurse Practitioner as both can prescribe meds. Praying for you and your new doc to have wisdom from on high and that you would quickly figure out what if anything is going on and find appropriate treatment.

 

[cheynems]

Is it as simple as describing symptoms and severity? I'm sorry for asking so many questions. I'm just lost on, well, almost everything. Thank you so much for the information.

 

[Alive again]

yes, they will ask you questions also to clarify or rule out other symptoms. Some docs will give you a paper test as well, but with mental health diagnosis is based on symptoms reported by you to doc, so be very honest, as hard as it may be.

Prayers!

 

[cheynems]

I don't even know how to sort out all my symptoms or describe them, but I will do my best to be as honest as possible. Thank you for all your help Take care

 

[Alive again]

I was surprised to learn when I was diagnosed and in the time after that how many things were related to this illness in my life (not saying it is what you have). that is one of the most helpful things about the forum. Is you learn from each other what is common to this illness amongst those of us who have this illness. And then we all understand and accept this about each other! No judgment is such a wonderful thing! It gives you a glimpse of the fact that Jesus loves you no matter what!

 

[angelkiss]

I second what Alive again said! I usually call us one big family here, for we can relate so well.
We're all here for you.
s and es!!

 

[angelkiss]

Angelkiss: I can understand about getting into life threatening situations and hurting people, it's all I've done for myself for the past couple years. Numerous times I've packed up my things and left without giving it a second thought and I've hurt my family and friends both. I want nothing more than for a stronger impulse control. This seems to be one of my worst symptoms.

I've been there done that. Long story short, I took off to Odessa TX with someone I hardly knew and was gone two months before anyone knew where I was. Wasn't until a cop ran my license due to being in a park after hours, (I didn't know the park had a time closure.), that I realized there was a missing person report out on me. It was then reality hit me and it hit HARD. I was so miserable and what made it worse was I couldn't even explain myself. So many questions when I got back home and no answers to give. That was one of my biggest problems for years. I finally decided, rather than run from myself, I'd just find different alternatives. Each time I ran, I followed myself, so I figured I'd stay put and deal with things by using coping skills instead. Easier said than done, but much better.

 

[cheynems]

There is no better group of people to learn from, both about bipolar disorder and life in general. I know we have all done our fair share of living and have plenty of experiences to relate from. At least I know I do.

Angelkiss: I had a similar experience although I didn't have a missing person report. I took off to Irving Texas without a thought and told my fmaily before I left. When asked, I could not give them a reason for leaving, only that I 'just had to leave' This is how life has been for me the past couple years. I took off to not only Texas, but California once and Washington twice. Never could I give a legitimate reason.

Anyway, I will keep you all informed on my doctor visit and everything else. I go early next week. Thanks guys!

-Cheyne

 

[angelkiss]

You're very welcome. Looking forward to hearing more from ya.
s and es!!

 

[cheynems]

I am back everyone, after being gone for who knows how long. I suppose I just disappeared, but I ended up at midmo for about 11 days. Not surprisingly, it is a mental health facility, if nobody has heard of it. Although it wasn't how I intended to find out, I did learn more about what is going on in my head. I learned that I do indeed have bipolar disorder, which, in a way, is a huge relief. They have me on tegretol and welibutrin. I'm not sure I see a difference yet. I've felt this way for so long, I don't know what to look for. But I hope it is a step in the right direction..