Hi Kywy, I'm sorry that you are going through this torment, but the very fact that it is torment for you, pretty much guarantees that you have not committed this particular sin
(since those who commit it are so hardhearted and hard-headed, that worrying about whether they've committed it or not not would never cross their minds).
Satan and his minions are, well, devilish in their dealings with God's elect, and they are constantly whispering anything but sweet nothings in our ears
, so we always need to:
be on the alert because our adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. ~
1 Peter 5:8-9
Thanks to "them" (in large part), we all get horrible "thoughts"*. Whenever we do however, we are commanded to take them captive to Christ ..
2 Corinthians 10:5 and give them to Him to deal with.
*(Just to be clear, thoughts are temptations to sin, they are not sins themselves .. unless we continue in them for too long and make something more out of them. The good news is, if you feel like you've sinned in this manner, God forgives our sinful thoughts if we confess them to Him, just like He does our sinful deeds 
.. e.g. 1 John 1:9)
St. James tells us that if we
resist the devil, he will flee from us ..
James 4:7. Unfortunately, "resisting" him often takes a lot of time and effort on our parts as he (oft times) will not stop throwing his
flaming arrows at us until he's absolutely sure that we won't stop resisting him .. see
Ephesians 6:10-17.
I hope that helps a bit, because I am very aware of the pain you are experiencing, the thoughts (and the doubts that result) that never seem to stop coming at you, one after another. I was GREATLY plagued by all of this when I was a new believer 30 years ago, because I had been so out in the world up until that point and Satan didn't want to let me go!
I found an answer to the problem I am happy to say, and I am no longer plagued by a continual/horrible thought-life
The secret, at least for me, was found in emptying my mind of all the garbage that had built up in there over the years, and then filling it with something else, something FAR better, in fact .. the word of God. And the best and quickest way to do that is to topically and systematically memorize key verses and passages from the word of God
Memory work is not easy, so it is certainly not for everyone, but the spiritual benefits you will reap from it (if you stay with it for awhile) are almost indescribable! So, if you get to the point where you've had enough of your horrible thought-life, and you think you'd like to give
Scripture memory work a go, PM me if you'd like to, as I'd be happy to help you get started.
Praying for you!
God bless you! (
Numbers 6:24-26)
--David
p.s. - here are a few verses that speak of the Deity of Christ.
John 1
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
2 He was in the beginning with God.
3 All things came into being by Him, and apart from Him, nothing came into being that has come into being.
14 And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.
Colossians 2
9 In Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form.
Hebrews 1
8 But of the Son God says, “YOUR THRONE, O GOD, IS FOREVER AND EVER, AND THE RIGHTEOUS SCEPTER IS THE SCEPTER OF HIS KINGDOM.
