understanding my position

[SarahSmile1980]

My husband was diagnosed with bipolar a month ago after a involuntary admition into the hospital. He has always shown signs but i thought his behavior was due to his drug and alcohol addictions. Now i see how he was trying to self medicate is mental illness. Since he has been home and given medication to take for his new diagnoses, he is having trouble sticking to tje medication and not falling back on his old ways of self medication. I have drlt very well with the mood swings. Know when to give him space and time to process. I however am having trouble with the infidality and hypersexuality accompanied by lose of impulse control. I dont know how much of it is him and how much of it is his mental illness. I tend to forgive to easy. Trying to trust God in his recovery without knowing what my place in it is and how to set up boundaries to protect myself and him. It is just a countinous cycle of betrayal, remorse then forgiveness. Is this what i am to expect if we stay married? Is there hope for a intmate marraige built on trust and respect for those married to bipolar spouses with sexual issues? I dont know where to go from here.

 

[Sola1517]

My husband was diagnosed with bipolar a month ago after a involuntary admition into the hospital. He has always shown signs but i thought his behavior was due to his drug and alcohol addictions. Now i see how he was trying to self medicate is mental illness. Since he has been home and given medication to take for his new diagnoses, he is having trouble sticking to tje medication and not falling back on his old ways of self medication. I have drlt very well with the mood swings. Know when to give him space and time to process. I however am having trouble with the infidality and hypersexuality accompanied by lose of impulse control. I dont know how much of it is him and how much of it is his mental illness. I tend to forgive to easy. Trying to trust God in his recovery without knowing what my place in it is and how to set up boundaries to protect myself and him. It is just a countinous cycle of betrayal, remorse then forgiveness. Is this what i am to expect if we stay married? Is there hope for a intmate marraige built on trust and respect for those married to bipolar spouses with sexual issues? I dont know where to go from here.

Are you seeing a counselor of some kind with your husband? (Pastor, Christian Counselor)

 

[Sola1517]

My husband was diagnosed with bipolar a month ago after a involuntary admition into the hospital. He has always shown signs but i thought his behavior was due to his drug and alcohol addictions. Now i see how he was trying to self medicate is mental illness. Since he has been home and given medication to take for his new diagnoses, he is having trouble sticking to tje medication and not falling back on his old ways of self medication. I have drlt very well with the mood swings. Know when to give him space and time to process. I however am having trouble with the infidality and hypersexuality accompanied by lose of impulse control. I dont know how much of it is him and how much of it is his mental illness. I tend to forgive to easy. Trying to trust God in his recovery without knowing what my place in it is and how to set up boundaries to protect myself and him. It is just a countinous cycle of betrayal, remorse then forgiveness. Is this what i am to expect if we stay married? Is there hope for a intmate marraige built on trust and respect for those married to bipolar spouses with sexual issues? I dont know where to go from here.

Are you seeing a counselor of some kind with your husband? (Pastor, Christian Counselor)

Is that too personal to ask?

 

[SarahSmile1980]

No. My husband has stated he has given up on God. I am having trouble communicating with him. And when i try to set up boundaries it seems as though it causes so much stress that it exculates his condition. I would like to see a counsler for myself but im having trouble finding the right resources that are affordable for me. We dint have health insurance so i will be paying out of pocket. I am paying out of pocket for his medication at the moment. I would like to see a christian counsler who is also trained in mental health.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

His addictions were and are very much related to his health overall.

My husband was diagnosed with bipolar a month ago after a involuntary admition into the hospital. He has always shown signs but i thought his behavior was due to his drug and alcohol addictions.

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Read as much as you can find about the things you have mentioned and also about pellagra - if you want to. i.e. find out all you can and keep looking for a good experienced medical provider or health trainer familiar with all that you mentioned.
A support group of people who have recovered might be a good resource (but not always). (test everything to verify it before believing it).

We dint have health insurance so i will be paying out of pocket. I am paying out of pocket for his medication at the moment.

 

[Sola1517]

My husband has stated he has given up on God.

And when i try to set up boundaries it seems as though it causes so much stress that it exculates his condition.

I think that when we try to set up boundaries for unbelievers that are based on our Biblical understanding of things it just makes them hate God even more. You cannot control human nature (sin) because human nature is in rebellion. If you want him to change, focus on the Gospel when he is unfaithful cause that's the only thing that can change people.

Btw, realize Jesus is faithful to you even when your husband isn't.

 

[SarahSmile1980]

Is that too personal to ask?

No i think that is a very good wuest

Is that too personal to ask? No i think that is a very good question and would give me a lot of answers and tools i need to navigate this unkown illness. For me and my spouse

 

[SarahSmile1980]

I think that when we try to set up boundaries for unbelievers that are based on our Biblical understanding of things it just makes them hate God even more. You cannot control human nature (sin) because human nature is in rebellion. If you want him to change, focus on the Gospel when he is unfaithful cause that's the only thing that can change people.

Btw, realize Jesus is faithful to you even when your husband isn't.

Thank you Sola 1517 What you said has so much wisdom and brought a lot of things to light for me. Yes there has been a lot of anger towards God and treating me as the enemy when i am trying to show Gods love to him through my actions. I am working on find my idenity through Christ and not through my husband right now. The thing that scares me is that it is out of my control. I have realized that I have my own issues such a codependent tendencies that have contributed to our dysfunction. And it is realy up to my husband to take the steps he needs to for his mental health. The thing is if he chooses not to he will hit rock bottom. Rock bottom would be a good thing if it makes him realize the help he needs. But im scared it will push him to another suicide attempt. I am just praying and waiting and asking for direction moment by moment.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Thank you Sola 1517 What you said has so much wisdom and brought a lot of things to light for me. Yes there has been a lot of anger towards God and treating me as the enemy when i am trying to show Gods love to him through my actions. I am working on find my idenity through Christ and not through my husband right now. The thing that scares me is that it is out of my control. I have realized that I have my own issues such a codependent tendencies that have contributed to our dysfunction. And it is realy up to my husband to take the steps he needs to for his mental health. The thing is if he chooses not to he will hit rock bottom. Rock bottom would be a good thing if it makes him realize the help he needs. But im scared it will push him to another suicide attempt. I am just praying and waiting and asking for direction moment by moment.

Hi; good to see you on the forums; so sorry to read of your circumstances. I can't give medical advice, but prayer and the Scriptures - so far, individually pursued by yourself - can always be a blessing. The day to look forward to would be when your husband also proves willing to read the Word with you prayerfully.

 

[SarahSmile1980]

Hi; good to see you on the forums; so sorry to read of your circumstances. I can't give medical advice, but prayer and the Scriptures - so far, individually pursued by yourself - can always be a blessing. The day to look forward to would be when your husband also proves willing to read the Word with you prayerfully.

I look forward to that day. Thank you for your encouragement

 

[faroukfarouk]

I look forward to that day. Thank you for your encouragement

YW. Your comment shows that you truly love your husband; and that you probably won't be looking for advice from those who somehow like to think that divorce is the solution for all marital difficulties. May God strengthen you day by day, in His goodness.

 

[SarahSmile1980]

I think that when we try to set up boundaries for unbelievers that are based on our Biblical understanding of things it just makes them hate God even more. You cannot control human nature (sin) because human nature is in rebellion. If you want him to change, focus on the Gospel when he is unfaithful cause that's the only thing that can change people.

Btw, realize Jesus is faithful to you even when your husband isn't.

Wow. What you said is so true.

 

[SarahSmile1980]

His addictions were and are very much related to his health overall.
--------------------------------------------------
Read as much as you can find about the things you have mentioned and also about pellagra - if you want to. i.e. find out all you can and keep looking for a good experienced medical provider or health trainer familiar with all that you mentioned.
A support group of people who have recovered might be a good resource (but not always). (test everything to verify it before believing it).

Thank you. I have been reading on bipolar to undetstand it better. Diet, exercise , medication and spiritual growth all have important roles in stabilization. I am going to order a book called the bipolar diet and cook more healthy meals. Since my husband also has higj blood pressure. I have also read that mental illness and addiction go hand in hand in most cases.

 

[faroukfarouk]

PS: If I may say so, I'm really impressed by the patient and loving character of your posts.

 

[SarahSmile1980]

PS: If I may say so, I'm really impressed by the patient and loving character of your posts.

Thank you. There were and still are times that i can start feeling real bitter and hopless. But to God be all the glory. It is true what the bible says "that God is close to the broken hearted". It is because of Him that i can still love through the pain. And hopefully my husband and I can get through this with a changed heart and a strong testimony. I know if things were always easy i wouldnt be pushed to grow. And i can honestly say my faith is stronger because of the struggles. Just when i think im at my breaking point God shows up time and time again. And thats what i need to hold on to and remember when things are at there worst.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Thank you. There were and still are times that i can start feeling real bitter and hopless. But to God be all the glory. It is true what the bible says "that God is close to the broken hearted". It is because of Him that i can still love through the pain. And hopefully my husband and I can get through this with a changed heart and a strong testimony. I know if things were always easy i wouldnt be pushed to grow. And i can honestly say my faith is stronger because of the struggles. Just when i think im at my breaking point God shows up time and time again. And thats what i need to hold on to and remember when things are at there worst.

Infinite resources are available through the daily recourse to prayer and the Scriptures, for all who trust and believe.

 

[SarahSmile1980]

YW. Your comment shows that you truly love your husband; and that you probably won't be looking for advice from those who somehow like to think that divorce is the solution for all marital difficulties. May God strengthen you day by day, in His goodness.

When i said my marraige vows i not only made a commitment to my husband but to God. The only way i would consider a divorce is if my husband chose to leave. Which he was considering. Thank God he has changed his heart in that area so far