Uncontrollable Thoughts

[kittyio]

I am plagued with thoughts of serving evil things every few seconds, If I touch a piece of paper or food I am serving something evil. Then the vicious cycle begins of if I do this then I am going to go to Hell. So I go through repenting and asking for forgiveness, then the cycle repeats. MY OCD seems to be worsening and uncontrollable. I have become so distracted that I have had to drop from my classes. Does on the forum have advice? (edit)

 

[Michie]

I am plagued with thoughts of serving evil things every few seconds, If I touch a piece of paper or food I am serving something evil. Then the vicious cycle begins of if I do this then I am going to go to Hell. So I go through repenting and asking for forgiveness, then the cycle repeats. MY OCD seems to be worsening and uncontrollable. I have become so distracted that I have had to drop from my classes. I need advice on a good therapist and medication. Does on the forum have good success with medication for this type of OCD and or know of a good therapist online?

We are not allowed to give any medical advise here. But it definitely would be a good idea to contact your medical doctor so he/she can refer you to the right professionals.

 

[subtlecollision]

I would speak with a pastor/mentor/fellow Christian about salvation. We are saved by faith in Jesus. As long as you have faith, you need not worry. It seems your OCD is making you confused about how salvation works. Recognize that these thoughts are OCD thoughts that you don't have to listen to.

I would also find a therapist and/or doctor who can help you with your OCD.

I pray that God would heal you of your mental health struggles.

 

[tobyw]

I am plagued with thoughts of serving evil things every few seconds, If I touch a piece of paper or food I am serving something evil. Then the vicious cycle begins of if I do this then I am going to go to Hell. So I go through repenting and asking for forgiveness, then the cycle repeats. MY OCD seems to be worsening and uncontrollable. I have become so distracted that I have had to drop from my classes. Does on the forum have advice? (edit)

I'm guessing that you basically feel like you're walking a tightrope over hell, with your fate in your hands. You feel you must resist evil or else you will fall off. Maybe also that if you do fall off, you can get back on the tightrope if you rededicate your life to Christ, get really serious about your faith, etc.

If you think that way, then of course you will end up with anxiety problems, OCD, etc. It's a vicious cycle. Your whole "system" here is messed up.

I would counter: only God can ever be good enough for God. Why are you even trying to walk the tightrope anyway? You can't do it. None of us can. Nor do we have to. Salvation isn't by self-control. It's by Jesus having behaved himself on your behalf. Jesus resisted all the temptation and sin, while paying for any failure to do so by you. He's like a middleman; he makes God happy for you, and that lets you off the hook. Otherwise, it's up to you to be good enough for God, and given that you are't God, it won't work.

 

[kittyio]

I'm guessing that you basically feel like you're walking a tightrope over hell, with your fate in your hands. You feel you must resist evil or else you will fall off. Maybe also that if you do fall off, you can get back on the tightrope if you rededicate your life to Christ, get really serious about your faith, etc.

If you think that way, then of course you will end up with anxiety problems, OCD, etc. It's a vicious cycle. Your whole "system" here is messed up.

I would counter: only God can ever be good enough for God. Why are you even trying to walk the tightrope anyway? You can't do it. None of us can. Nor do we have to. Salvation isn't by self-control. It's by Jesus having behaved himself on your behalf. Jesus resisted all the temptation and sin, while paying for any failure to do so by you. He's like a middleman; he makes God happy for you, and that lets you off the hook. Otherwise, it's up to you to be good enough for God, and given that you are't God, it won't work.

Thank you, I am still terrified of serving something evil, just by eating and I feel like I do and it terrifies me.

 

[kittyio]

I would speak with a pastor/mentor/fellow Christian about salvation. We are saved by faith in Jesus. As long as you have faith, you need not worry. It seems your OCD is making you confused about how salvation works. Recognize that these thoughts are OCD thoughts that you don't have to listen to.

I would also find a therapist and/or doctor who can help you with your OCD.

I pray that God would heal you of your mental health struggles.

Thank you.
I am worried I will serve something evil because of the thoughts and compulsions. I get thoughts that say if you don't give up everythingg you will be seving something evil and God will hold you to it. Then I try to repent and feel like I cant. Then I feel like God will hold me to it.

 

[sandman]

I am plagued with thoughts of serving evil things every few seconds, If I touch a piece of paper or food I am serving something evil. Then the vicious cycle begins of if I do this then I am going to go to Hell. So I go through repenting and asking for forgiveness, then the cycle repeats. MY OCD seems to be worsening and uncontrollable. I have become so distracted that I have had to drop from my classes. Does on the forum have advice? (edit)

You are condemning yourself judging yourself….. and yet the God you serve wants to spend eternity showing you the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. (Ep 2:7)

Think about that….. Gods’ idea of exceeding riches of his grace in His kindness to us…..loving and blessing you throughout eternity.
Please replace your thoughts with that.

 

[Tolworth John]

I am plagued with thoughts of serving evil things every few seconds, If I touch a piece of paper or food I am serving something evil. Then the vicious cycle begins of if I do this then I am going to go to Hell. So I go through repenting and asking for forgiveness, then the cycle repeats. MY OCD seems to be worsening and uncontrollable. I have become so distracted that I have had to drop from my classes. Does on the forum have advice? (edit)

Pleae read the web site 25 tips for successfully treating your OCD, in particular read and reread point 4 which talks about intrusive thoughts. Basicly don't talk, argue or ignore intrusive thughts, just agree with them and then move on.
link:-
International OCD Foundation | 25 Tips for Succeeding in Your OCD Treatment

Please talk to your parrents and doctor about both these tips and the extent of your intrusive thoughts. You may need medication to calm your thoughts/mind down so you can regain controll.

Your salvaton is because of Jesus and not affected by thoughts generatted by a mental illness.

 

[subtlecollision]

Thank you.
I am worried I will serve something evil because of the thoughts and compulsions. I get thoughts that say if you don't give up everythingg you will be seving something evil and God will hold you to it. Then I try to repent and feel like I cant. Then I feel like God will hold me to it.

I think the fact that you're so worried about this is indication that you want a good relationship with God. Usually OCD attacks what we're most worried about.

 

[Hoping]

kittyio, I understand your pain because I've dealt this for over 20 years. It's not as bad now and I usually don't consider myself as having OCD.

I hope your situation has improved, but if it hasn't, I can write more, about the things I've done about it and thought about it, although I'm neither a spiritual nor a mental health counselor. I think the best thing for people with this disorder, besides prayer--The Lord's Prayer is a comfort to me--"Deliver us from evil"-- is to do their own research, lots of it. Find out what most of the experts are saying, and try that. There is help, of many kinds, but unless either God decides to relieve you of this, or you find very good professional advisors, you may have to dig for it.

 

[angelsaroundme]

I feel like OCD is strongest when we are in a bubble. The more we learn about other people's experiences with OCD, the more we see OCD for what it is, and it has less power over us. Watching videos of people with OCD, reading their stories online, especially people who are practicing good techniques to lessen the OCD, would likely help you.

The other thing is that the more we fight the OCD, the more persistent it becomes. OCD weakens by us ignoring it. I sometimes think of the metaphor of the two wolves within us. The one that wins, they say, is the one we feed the most. We only grow the OCD by feeding it attention. However, by not giving in to compulsions, and choosing to set our sights on our interests and goals, we can begin starving the OCD and empowering the other part of our brain, the other wolf.

 

[Mari17]

I am plagued with thoughts of serving evil things every few seconds, If I touch a piece of paper or food I am serving something evil. Then the vicious cycle begins of if I do this then I am going to go to Hell. So I go through repenting and asking for forgiveness, then the cycle repeats. MY OCD seems to be worsening and uncontrollable. I have become so distracted that I have had to drop from my classes. Does on the forum have advice? (edit)

I'm so sorry you're struggling! I haven't had this exact obsession, but I've had one kind of similar, and it's very difficult. Have you had other obsessive themes, besides this one? What kind of support do you currently have for dealing with your OCD?