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[Jason0009]

hi

 

[bèlla]

Jason,

I’m sorry you were hurt and she was unwilling to be upfront. It’s easy to misread intentions when physical interaction is lacking. Don’t be hard on yourself for making a mistake.

The ideal suitor will value your commitment to God and embrace your quirks. Don’t assume inexperience or introversion will be a stumbling block if the Lord’s in charge. He can accomplish unlikely feats if you trust Him.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

 

[Jason0009]

Jason,

I’m sorry you were hurt and she was unwilling to be upfront. It’s easy to misread intentions when physical interaction is lacking. Don’t be hard on yourself for making a mistake.

The ideal suitor will value your commitment to God and embrace your quirks. Don’t assume inexperience or introversion will be a stumbling block if the Lord’s in charge. He can accomplish unlikely feats if you trust Him.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

Yes, amen to that. Thank you so much Bella.

 

[Aussie Pete]

Hi guys,

So my inexperience in love and naivety and straight up foolishness and stubbornness caused me to be heartbroken once again. The girl I was talking to ignored me for a few days. I got fed up and deleted her from my messenging app. She said it was because my behaviour changed suddenly and she got scared and stopped sending messages to me. I was mainly the same from the beginning to end (about two weeks) and came off strong and quite supportive and emotionally invested up front. She seemed to be like that also in the beginning but suddenly ghosted me afterwards. I can overcome this I am genuinely stronger than this little thing. But well, you guys were right. I was wrong. A nonbeliever will never believe in what a Christian does and does not understand us. It feels bad though that she didn't tell me upfront until I deleted her. I respect honesty rather than beating around the bush.

Your fellow brother in Christ,

Jason

Thanks for your honesty. Hopefully others will take note and avoid the same trap.

 

[NerdGirl]

Hi guys,

So my inexperience in love and naivety and straight up foolishness and stubbornness caused me to be heartbroken once again. The girl I was talking to ignored me for a few days. I got fed up and deleted her from my messenging app. She said it was because my behaviour changed suddenly and she got scared and stopped sending messages to me. I was mainly the same from the beginning to end (about two weeks) and came off strong and quite supportive and emotionally invested up front. She seemed to be like that also in the beginning but suddenly ghosted me afterwards. I can overcome this I am genuinely stronger than this little thing. But well, you guys were right. I was wrong. A nonbeliever will never believe in what a Christian does and does not understand us. It feels bad though that she didn't tell me upfront until I deleted her. I respect honesty rather than beating around the bush.

Your fellow brother in Christ,

Jason

Learn from this experience. Do not engage in looking for romance or relationships online. Relationships are forged in the real world, face to face, with people around us that we can see and touch. And don't blame it on her lack of faith. That just sets you up to scare off Christian girls online when you decide you want to marry them after chatting for two weeks.

Please learn from this. Learn from what YOU did wrong. This girl didn't do anything wrong.

 

[Jason0009]

Hi thanks all,

So just another update here:

I gave myself time to rest since receiving the message from that girl. And I decided to man up and message her that I am still open to talk and listen to her if she wanted to. I also apologized to her for my actions and took responsibility for what I did. I don't know if she'll reply or not. Frankly it doesn't matter because I wanted to send that message for her to feel at ease and forget about me. I told her I was fine and told her to take care of her health. I still wished her well at the end. In essence I made up to her and I feel better now. I'm still grieving the lost of our relationship however slowly but surely I'm getting over her. Everyone is telling me that I only knew her for a short time, but who am I fooling? I still love her, I can't deny my personal feelings. However I will overcome this, I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. During my time to grieve I have had time to heal my spirit and I've come closer to God. So I believe that is a good thing that came out of this whole ordeal. I've repented of my sins and started to prioritize my own life priorities too. Such as I finally came around to clean my room, do my homework, and think for myself these past few days which I've neglected for quite some time.

God bless you all and thank you all for the support everyone.

 

[NerdGirl]

You don't love her.

Leave her alone.

You didn't "man up" by contacting her after she stopped contact with you. That was an act of desperation and it may have made her even more uncomfortable.

Respect her wishes and leave her alone.

 

[bèlla]

Jason,

Are you hoping she rekindles the connection? Be honest with yourself. If she wanted to resume the relationship, would you?

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

 

[Jason0009]

I recently just got hired at a job. I'm trying to make new memories/experiences and move forward. Yes, I should leave her alone you are right NerdGirl123. Bella, I do hope that she will come back. And I still want to resume a relationship with her when she does come back. I think time apart will change her maybe? Time will tell, I'm sorry if my threads/posts have become too much emotional baggage. God bless you girls for helping me still. I will definitely update again on how my life is going in this section/or the life stages section. Thank you and good night.

 

[bèlla]

Jason,

Congratulations on the new job. I wish you much success in your position.

“But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.“ —James 1:14-15

If you hope she returns and resumes a relationship you are knowingly sinning and the consequences will be harsher than before. It is one thing to forge a connection in ignorance or naiveté with an unbeliever and another to question the connection and receive counsel against its continuance and resume it down the road.

I think you should spend more time developing your relationship with God. If you’re swayed this easily to transgress your beliefs for the possibility of companionship with someone you barely know you’ll probably do it again.

Satan will accommodate your folly with additional temptations that become increasingly painful over time. You’re spiritually weak and the pontifications are meaningless if you haven’t learned a thing.

“Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly.“ —Proverbs 26:11

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

 

[Jason0009]

Jason,

Congratulations on the new job. I wish you much success in your position.

“But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.“ —James 1:14-15

If you hope she returns and resumes a relationship you are knowingly sinning and the consequences will be harsher than before. It is one thing to forge a connection in ignorance or naiveté with an unbeliever and another to question the connection and receive counsel against its continuance and resume it down the road.

I think you should spend more time developing your relationship with God. If you’re swayed this easily to transgress your beliefs for the possibility of companionship with someone you barely know you’ll probably do it again.

Satan will accommodate your folly with additional temptations that become increasingly painful over time. You’re spiritually weak and the pontifications are meaningless if you haven’t learned a thing.

“Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly.“ —Proverbs 26:11

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

Yes, hopefully I will change from the mindset I have now. Thank you Bella.

 

[bèlla]

Yes, hopefully I will change from the mindset I have now. Thank you Bella.

Jason,

Never lie to yourself. It's a slippery slope. Call the spade what it is whenever possible. Then address the problem. You can't solve a dilemma you refuse to name. You're deluding yourself.

I haven't spent my singleness alone or without prospects. Three of my previous companions desired to marry and another made his intentions clear during our acquaintanceship. Four people wanted to spend their lives with me. But they weren't God's choice. If you allow loneliness to influence your actions you'll choose the wrong person. A lifelong connection in that state isn't pleasant.

It's difficult to discern when your emotions are in the drivers seat and you're not listening to the Lord. Just because someone is physically appealing or looks great on paper doesn't mean they're the one.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

 

[Jason0009]

Thank you all once again. Please pray for me so that I can find another person into my life that will love me for who I am. I have changed my mind and don't want to take her back if she decides to. Because she threw me out (dumped me)/and my feelings. So I really don't want to take her back anymore. Anything is possible through the walk of faith to God. Praise be to our Lord. Forever and ever. Amen.

 

[NerdGirl]

She didn't 'dump' you. You weren't in a relationship. This was a person in another country that you talked to over the internet for a few weeks. You were talking about MARRYING her, for crying out loud. You came on too strong, creeped her out, and she understandably and justifiably backed away and stopped communicating with you.

You're still refusing to see that the problem was YOU. Until you see that, you're just going to continue to prey upon other kind-hearted women.

 

[Jason0009]

She didn't 'dump' you. You weren't in a relationship. This was a person in another country that you talked to over the internet for a few weeks. You were talking about MARRYING her, for crying out loud. You came on too strong, creeped her out, and she understandably and justifiably backed away and stopped communicating with you.

You're still refusing to see that the problem was YOU. Until you see that, you're just going to continue to prey upon other kind-hearted women.

You're right. I decide still to follow and put God above all else. I have faith in Him and will always be grateful to him for whatever happens. God bless you.

 

[bèlla]

Jason,

When you're contemplating a suitor it's ideal to confirm you're on the same page. Especially when marriage is the desired end. But that wouldn't apply to the person in question without time and consideration.

It isn't enough to desire someone. They must reciprocate and demonstrate it in tangible ways you understand. Women often express it through attentiveness, softness and reassuring words. She communicates her want for your presence in a manner that removes uncertainty and ambiguity. If she likes you; you'll know it. If she wants to be your companion you'll know that too. The expressions grow with familiarity.

Relationships aren't one-sided affairs. Pursuing unrequited affections is painful. We yearn to be desired and have someone return our feelings. It can be difficult to realize they feel differently or had a change of heart. Continuing in that vain deepens our hurt. Letting go is best.

When God enters the situation it changes everything. Attractions fueled by Him are world's apart from those we undertake on our own. Sustaining them is harder. He opens your eyes to qualities and opportunities you wouldn't notice on your own.

You'll miss her if you're determined to do things your way. Sometimes you don't get a do over. You're stuck with the choice you've made.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella