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California Dreamin'

Crazy Cat Lady
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Nothing ever seems to go right.
I have been in a long distance relationship, USA and Canada.
I was planning to move there, get married November 16, he has contact immigration lawyers. We both have Asperger's Syndrome, a mild form of autism. We planned all these great trips.

Well he just came here with his father, when they called to say they were here, my phone died, and he didn't try to call me back, immediately changed their flights. I really did ALL the talking with his father when i showed up at the hotel. He had no idea how serious everything was and said he cannot get married, have kids.

They went home the next day...

Then his parents both Facebook messaged me and saying that we could get married...
 

CounselorForChrist

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Your both adults and in the end a parent can't force you not to marry as legal adults. Aside from that obviously make sure you both are ready for marriage. Being disabled I had to make 100% sure my wife was ok with my disabilities getting in the way of some things. I'd also see what the laws are between your countries about moving.

In my case I can't bring my wife from the Philippines here unless I meet many criteria including I have to make at least $35,000 or more a year. But the back up option is someone can sponsor my wife who makes that type of money. In this case my dad. Although I imagine its easy to migrate from canada. Much less hassle.
 
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K9_Trainer

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Yikes, talk about intrusive parents.

I guess my biggest concern would be how much he allows his parents to rule his life. If he can't keep them out of his personal life, you might have a problem. Telling an adult child's partner that they can't get married or have kids is really out of line.

I hope you can work things out with him.
 
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Inkachu

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Bear in mind that if he allows this level of control and interference from his parents now, it's likely to continue. Not sure what to advise here, but... good luck and proceed with caution.
 
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F

fdsfndls

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His obviously didn't tell his parents his plans, to be faced out of the blue with a potential daughter-in-law could be a bit confronting. Especially if they have raised a son with a disability and are looking at that times 2.

They have heaps of money. Does he?

They said yes. I'd cut them some slack if it was me.

Perhaps they're right. He might not be ready for marriage. Their behaviour does sound a little brusque, but they might just be trying to protect their son.
 
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