Ugh - when is it over???

[AirForceTeacher]

Just need to vent. Major drama this weekend because I declined to sign a mortgage modification for the ex. It lowers her payment by about $100, but since it does that by extending the loan a year and lowering the interest to 2%, I will be stuck to her for another 26 years because she will have no incentive to refinance. I already signed one because if I hadn't it would have gone to foreclosure and I'd rather have a line-item that says modification than a foreclosure. But now her had it out again, and then I'll have two modified payment plan line items on my credit. That's not gonna make it easy for me to get another home loan if they can just look and see that I'll try to modify it.

I need like a swimming pool full of Calgon.

Just venting.

 

[FallenPaladin]

You just chose to be with her for another 26 years. You could have let that one go. I would have in a heartbeat. I would have told the banker why I did it. I would then show him my/your income and he would give me the loan. Especially since its a guaranteed VA homeloan. Banks like those because even if you drop the ball they get paid.

 

[dorig59]

Is this one of those deals where she wouldn't be able to get the mortgage in her own name or something? What I mean is why can't your name get off of there completely?

 

[AirForceTeacher]

You just chose to be with her for another 26 years. You could have let that one go. I would have in a heartbeat. I would have told the banker why I did it. I would then show him my/your income and he would give me the loan. Especially since its a guaranteed VA homeloan. Banks like those because even if you drop the ball they get paid.

The loan was already out there for 25 years, so very little difference.

Is this one of those deals where she wouldn't be able to get the mortgage in her own name or something? What I mean is why can't your name get off of there completely?

No she can't she's not working yet - despite having graduated from nursing school in July.

There's just so much drama with this. The more I research, the more I think it won't affect me at all, but I still want her to commit to refinancing so my name isn't on here mortgages. I made the mistake of promising to my fianceee that I wouldn't sign it, and now I'm regretting it - I feel like I'm taking money away from my kids by not helping her lower her payment by $100 a month. However, if she gets this, she will never ever refinance, so those mortgages will always be attached to my name. I have the divorce decree saying I'm not responsible, but that won't help with a lot of credit granting parties.

 

[JanniGirl]

Teach,

My advice? Let your ex-W refinance once she has a job. You do not still want to be "financing" her home years after the kids move out. Not just that, but because the loan is in your name, when you apply for a new home loan, its going to go against your DTI (Debt to Income) ratio and lenders won't want to lend you as much. Also, they may view your new home purchase as a 2nd home, and your rate will not be as good.

I'd make a clean break of it, if I were you.

 

[FaithPrevails]

My question is this - why not just do a quitclaim deed and remove yourself from the equation? Then, it remains only in her name and you are exhonerated of everything. She doesn't have to refinance or have a credit check or do anything to prove she can maintain the mortgage (as far as I am aware).

Quitclaim deed - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[AirForceTeacher]

That's the problem - the house is currently in my name. I had to sign the first mortgage mod because she was behind, and that mod takes the first mortgage to 35 years from now. The second mortgage is also being modded, but only from 25 more years to 26 years. She's got 4.5% on the first mortgage, so there's no way she'll ever refinance unless I can find some leverage. I'm stuck to her that way for a while - although for large loans like cars and homes I can show the loan officer the divorce decree that states that I am not responsible for payments.

 

[FaithPrevails]

Legally, I don't understand how you have to maintain mortgages that she is responsible for if she can't afford them and they would negatively affect your credit if she defaulted. I'm assuming you exhausted all options in the divorce proceedings, though. If not, get thee to a real estate attorney!

Sorry - my situation was pretty cut and dried when it came to the house.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

My question is this - why not just do a quitclaim deed and remove yourself from the equation? Then, it remains only in her name and you are exhonerated of everything. She doesn't have to refinance or have a credit check or do anything to prove she can maintain the mortgage (as far as I am aware).

Quitclaim deed - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

As I've been told, a quitclaim removes my name from the deed, but not the mrtgage. The mortgage company rep and my lawyer specifically told me that the quitclaim deed does not affect the mortgage itself.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

Legally, I don't understand how you have to maintain mortgages that she is responsible for if she can't afford them and they would negatively affect your credit if she defaulted. I'm assuming you exhausted all options in the divorce proceedings, though. If not, get thee to a real estate attorney!

Sorry - my situation was pretty cut and dried when it came to the house.

I tried very hard to get her to agree in mediation to refinance the house. She wouldn't budge. I could not get a judges order to refinance either.

 

[FaithPrevails]

I wouldn't sign the second mod. For the first mod, you should be able to contact the 3 major credit reporting agencies and ask them the remove the mods with the supporting court documentation you have showing you're not responsible.

*re-reads the "just venting" part* I'm a fixer - can't help myself.

FWIW, I don't think you are taking anything away from your kids. You need to keep the perspective that she is the one short-changing them by not being financially responsible for herself and her bills.

I remember a lot of what you shared about what you went through with her. Don't allow her to continue putting you through the ringer - pressure from your fiancee or otherwise.

 

[dorig59]

Teach,

My advice? Let your ex-W refinance once she has a job. You do not still want to be "financing" her home years after the kids move out. Not just that, but because the loan is in your name, when you apply for a new home loan, its going to go against your DTI (Debt to Income) ratio and lenders won't want to lend you as much. Also, they may view your new home purchase as a 2nd home, and your rate will not be as good.

I'd make a clean break of it, if I were you.

That's absolutely right. Even though you can show divorce papers stating you're not responsible, you kinda still are in a way. You'll never get to have your own house with your fiancee, or for yourself, whatever. And don't let her use the thing about taking money away from the kids, please. If you allow her to put that guilt trip on you, she'll use it for many, many things to get her way.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

Update. I ended up having to give in on it because I needed her signature on a document for my own refinance. Hoping for the best, but now my house is fully out of her name, both mortgage and title. As best as I can tell, as long as she's never behind, her mortgage will never affect me. I dearly hope I'm right.

 

[dorig59]

I hope so, too. Enjoy your fiancee.

 

[FaithPrevails]

Update. I ended up having to give in on it because I needed her signature on a document for my own refinance. Hoping for the best, but now my house is fully out of her name, both mortgage and title. As best as I can tell, as long as she's never behind, her mortgage will never affect me. I dearly hope I'm right.

How did your fiancee react?

 

[AirForceTeacher]

How did your fiancee react?

I owe her a Dyson.

 

[dorig59]

Whoa, now that's not very nice!

 

[AirForceTeacher]

A Dyson vacuum cleaner. What did you think I meant??

 

[FaithPrevails]

It's got to be hard on you feeling like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. If you please your ex, you upset your fiancee. If you please your fiancee, you upset your ex.

I hope things ease up for you a bit.

 

[dorig59]

A Dyson vacuum cleaner. What did you think I meant??

I did think you meant a Dyson vacuum cleaner. I guess I shouldn't have said anything because, after all, that's every girl's dream gift, hahaha!!!