ugh... Heroin :(

[rebecca1918]

Im new here, but could really use some advice. I met my current BF in church and everything seemed to be going well, until the disappearing acts... I was suspicious of course and he admitted to being and addict. He decided to enter a 30 day inpatient program, and is now in a soberliving house. Awesome right ? Well he is a total newborn, only at about 40 days. So, having never experienced recovery of this kind, how do I give him the space he needs truly recover? He is so distant from me now. Will he come back? As time goes on? I am trying to take the time to work on me, but I miss his "goodmorning" phone calls and such, which Im not getting anymore

 

[Tigger45]

He's chasing the dragon! Wow that is HUGE! First he has to be good to himself before he can be a good BF. In order for you to think clearly you would have to demote him to a just friend status. That way you could still be there for him but there is nothing wrong with insisting someone prove their commitment to themselves and you. You are worth it!

 

[rebecca1918]

Thanks tigger. hmm that's tough love you send me. I know you're right. It's like an exclusive friend zone at the moment. I sit and wait and pray for God to direct my path. It's hard to clear my head. I pray for wisdom, and hate hoe such a beautiful soul could be so badly damaged, and I wonder... do I wait...

 

[rebecca1918]

*how lol =]

 

[Tigger45]

It would be very pretenious of me to give any specific answers to someone I haven't met and I would hate to stear you wrong. I'm guessing you're seeking imput on an internet site because you feel the people closest to you who love and know you would be very hard to talk to about this. That's probably because you already know what are going to say. Tough love or how the bible states it as truth in love is nothing compared to the reality of life's lessons. I've been on both sides of the fence. I'm a child of the 60's and 70's and have tried drugs. I did it to fit in but what happened was was my self esteem took a dive which then that caused a chain reation that to today at 51 I am still paying for. Trust me I by no means am demonizing your BF. We humans can be weak and foolish I know. But I am demonizing heroin. It will take him out if he doesn't break free from it and I mean fast. The problem is if you stay in a relationship with him it will only cause you heart ache. And if or when you have kids it will affect them also. I care about your BF as much as I do you. I'm sure the Lord has great plans for him if "he" chooses to follow Him. :{)

 

[rebecca1918]

Im glad to say that he has been walking the path of recovery with the Lord. I understand what you mean about demonizing the drug. I've dabbled before, but never with this one. I struggle though because recovery is such a tough road. There are emotions within him that we all are supposed to learn to deal with during our adolescence, something he has never done. I try to step back, give him space and time to deal with his steps and meetings, I just pray and wait, he's only at 45 days.... such a newborn, only 15 of them in the world. My family knows him, and loves him. I can talk to them about all of this, but I suppose I came here because I was hoping that someone could help me understand his point of view... I had a moment with my past that scared me sober, but then again that was another drug so... I just don't know how to be a good friend. Im trying, but today he had a bit of a meltdown because of the returning emotions and the difficulty of the fourth step... not sure what to do, but I know all that I want to do is Gods Will, whatever that may be. thank you for your words. they are very encouraging

 

[RuthD]

I'm praying for your situation.

 

[rebecca1918]

Isaiah 41:10 thank you!!!!!! I needed that scripture!

 

[dabro]

H is really becoming a problem. And I noticed it when my litl brother mover to TX and said he would always go into the lions den and hot rail herion. I'm very concerned for all the ppl becuz I have never seen anything spread like it is. And I have never done nor do I ever want to. But I'm a x meth addict and when I got saved the temptation for that drug slowly disappeard. What I'm truing to say is this has ans is becoming a big epidemic from my point of view. I pray that where ever it's coming from needs to stop.