Twilight- first try at poetry!

[SwordoftheCross]

Twilight
The sun sets and the night takes hold
A cold wind sweeps the clouds across the moon's beauty
Every child, woman, and man adrift in sleep.

Lovers dance merrily,
The darkness as empty as they wish it,
Yet all is seen by our Lord.

Night owl, spector, hunting for a meal
He swoops into the grass, and reappears with his supper
Fear will not sway his aim.

A serenade of grasshoppers
Their happy song calling to our souls:
"Come dance with the moon, children of men!"

Empty, yet full of life
A lovely time, unseen and unheard,
Who may enjoy such beauties?

 

[SwordoftheCross]

anybody have any thoughts?
Is its ok? Good? total poo?
anybody?

 

[SoleOrison]

Say, if this is your first time, you've got a natural talent!

 

[SwordoftheCross]

Say, if this is your first time, you've got a natural talent!

really? I've written a lot of attempts at poetry, but this is the first one I thought would actually be good enough to share! Thanks for dropping by, I appreciate all the criticism and/or help I can get!

 

[SoleOrison]

haha, yes, really. It's pretty good. I've been reading and writing poetry for about 6 years now, and I can tell you, honestly, that's pretty good. I hope you share more of yours.