Turn the Other Cheek?

[desi]

In all seriousness, I go with no. Others can give biblical examples if they want to-- but I find Jesus' days on earth dramatically different than today. Jesus might be a surfer if he were walking earth today-- or a computer nerd sending biblical email blasts to people! I use the bible as a guideline-- not a verbatim of how to live my life.

SC-- Take the high road. (This is not your mother talking-- I just sounds like her).

I guess Jesus was ignorant about how life is today. He just didn't understand how things are today. Men are to tearlessly blow off their marriages if their wives decide its time to quit. Oh well SC, better luck next time.

 

[Southern Cross]

Desi, that was totally out of line and insulting. It's so easy to say something like that over the internet, isn't it? I wonder if you would be that foolish in person. In one thread you tell me to go after her legally and make her pay, and then you tell me I'm blowing off my marriage. The only thing you are consistent in is your tactless, draconian approach in dealing with relationship problems. I'm honestly happy your marriage worked out. Enough said, I'm not the OP and I don't want to hijack the thread.

 

[hidesertrat]

I firmly believe any two people can make a marriage work, if they BOTH want the marriage to work. However, if one decides he/she has had enough than it is a long hard road to change their mind. I have yet to see anyone truely change their mind on a issue by being treated like ****. I have seen folks change their mind/belief by being treated with respect and love.
If someone was to threaten to take my kids away because I was a unfit father, I would let them spend their time/money and energy trying to prove it. Same goes for exposing my "little secrets". It would be their loss not mine.
Don't get me wrong, we all have done things that may or may not be considered unfit or a "little secret". However, someone could prove you unfit or harm your reputation, they would have to provide a history of it being a trend in your life. We may be Christians, but we sure aren't perfect....just forgiven.

If you have done everything in you power to make the marriage work, and the other person has done nothing or doesn't care; let them go. Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side, until you get to the other side.

So no, I don't believe it is right to "save" a marriage by being deceitful, even if the other person is (they must not be working at the marriage being saved).

 

[jenelis]

Desi-- I am equally insulted. I'm not an idiot, you know. Could you please bite a bit less. I, for one, might like you better if you weren't so insulting.

And I still go with no for this thread's question. Play clean, accept what life throws at you.

 

[fluffy_rainbow]

I am equally insulted. I'm not an idiot,

Oh, but don't you know? We're divorced. That means we've not only committed the unpardonable sin, but we're also miserable failures who deserve to be beaten with sticks by our pastors. </end sarcasm>

I believe everyone has a limit as to how far they can go to rescue a marriage. You can't make somebody do something. There are two factors involved:

1. It is not always God's will the marriage works out.
2. The person seeking the divorce may not be walking in the Light. If that's the case, they're going to rebel whether it's God's will or not. We still have free will.

 

[heartnsoul]

Oh, but don't you know? We're divorced. That means we've not only committed the unpardonable sin, but we're also miserable failures who deserve to be beaten with sticks by our pastors. </end sarcasm>

I believe everyone has a limit as to how far they can go to rescue a marriage. You can't make somebody do something. There are two factors involved:

1. It is not always God's will the marriage works out.
2. The person seeking the divorce may not be walking in the Light. If that's the case, they're going to rebel whether it's God's will or not. We still have free will.

Amen Fluffy! A godly marriage is when both parties are living a godly life and both worshipping God. If God gave us free will, then we are to also give each other free will. *Love* should be the glue that bonds people together with each other and to God...not coercion, manipulation or control.

 

[searle29678]

Basically what I'm asking is, would God find it pleasing for us to use spiritual, emotional, or even physical blackmail against a spouse trying to leave you in order to protect the marriage covenant?

I don't think God would want us to use deceitful ways to persuade anyone to stay in a marriage. I think if we have exhausted all possibilities to keep the marriage together and the spouse insists upon leaving, no matter how bad it hurts, let them go. If you pray about it, God will resolve the issue His way. I know that sounds passive, but in reality when you get to the point where you feel there is nothing else you can do just let God handle it.

 

[Yitzchak]

I think that the ideal is to be able to let your spouse make their own decision and not resort to controling or wrong behavior. In the real world though, very few measure up to the ideal. Often times , a spouse leaves and it catches a person completely off guard and takes time to accept it emotionally.

So, yes a person should turn the other cheeek so to speak. But I don't think a person needs to beat themselves up if they fall short of the ideal at times.