Trying to view as a blessing...

[PreachersWife2004]

As most of you know, I have three beautiful boys. As you also know, the timing between them is odd.

Jake is 12.
Aaron is 17 months.
David is 6 months.

Well, this past week we found out we're due with another one, around the end of Feb. 08 (OOH! LEAP YEAR BABY!)

I'm just having a really hard time dealing with/accepting this. Four kids was what I wanted, and I'd really like one girl, but I'll settle for a boy, too. However, I wanted some time off from being pregnant. I've been pregnant now for almost every year that we've been married. (Jake is from my first marriage, in case there was any confusion).

My husband is thrilled. Of course he is. He doesn't have to carry the child for the next nine months. Seriously guys, I was so looking forward to egg nog and Bailey's this year!!!!

I guess I could use some prayers, or something. I know that children are a blessing from God, and I am thrilled that we'll be having another. I'm just in shock right now, I guess.

 

[LilLamb219]

Sometimes it takes a while to get over the initial shock. But, at least you still have baby clothes available for the new arrival

 

[latebloomer]

PW, my husband's older brothers are 11 months apart. My MIL says they were almost like twins. Have you wandered into the parenting or women's discussion parts of CF yet? Probably a few there that have been there, done that. Looks like eggnog without the Bailey's this year, which is yummy too. I don't know what else to say at this point except congratulations and prayers for a healthy baby.

My life story is a bit different from yours--the only chick in my nest at the moment is our adopted 4 year old son, Tiger (a nickname/CF alias). He came to us as a foster child when he was 16 months old. He may yet have brothers or sisters.

 

[Confess]

After 2 years of marriage I became pregnant. My husband and I had a name picked out for our first little girl .... "Elizabeth Marie".

Elizabeth was actually born "Lawrence Tyler".

About 2 years later we had a "Steven", then "David", then "Robby" and then "Timothy" ... and then ... "Tommy".

And theeeeennnnn....

I was pregnant with my 7th child. My Grandmother just passed away shortly after conception to which I decided that IF I had a girl ... I would name her in honor of my Grandmother's 7th child ... "Anne Marie".

No one figured I would ever get a girl, so I thought I was safe.

But in November, Anne Marie was born and my poor husband was frustrated that we didn't get to name our first daughter the name that has been in waiting for 17 years.

Poor hubby.

Anyway, the first 5 children were conceived using birth control. I always wanted to have NO MORE then 5 children who were spaced 5 years apart.

That went well didn't it!!!!!

Well, after my 5th child was conceived, a woman named Andrea Yates in Texas killed her 5 sons to which the country was outraged! My community was so upset over it that they began taking it out on me. One man told my husband that when my husband ends up in trouble as with Andrea, he would testify against him.

It was a horrible time for me. I didn't want to be pregnant. None of the 4 other times did I want to be pregnant because these children were not coming when I wanted them to come, and then on top of it, I was being treated like a villain in my community where having 3 children is considered a large family!

Well, long story short ....

I no longer practice birth control. The year of Andrea Yates taught me a lot about trusting in God and how blessed I am to have my children.

To this day I HATE BEING PREGNANT!!!!!! But I love that day after labor!!!

I tend to be pretty gloomy when I am pregnant, I always initially react with fear and sorrow upon hearing that we are expecting another child. That is my sinful flesh talking. I don't like the inconvenience or the burden of being pregnant. I don't like the idea that one of my children may be born with physical or mental problems, I am always worried that something will go wrong or that I will end up morning the death of one of my children.

All I tend to think about is the negative aspects ... which ARE reality ... but very gloomy.

It is not until I hold that baby in my arms do I get out of the gloominess. I get that sense of relief that all my worries are for nothing (usually).

I know what you are going through. It may not be exactly what I go through, you may have different life experiences or fears and your sinful flesh may drive you to think in different ways, but the stress is still the same as mine.

Your not alone and God's grace will always be with you as has alway been in my case.

 

[porterross]

You are most definitely blessed! I had at least two miscarriages that I am aware of, one being excruciatingly painful and my daughter was born clinically dead, but God in His mercy allowed the medical staff to revive her and she is healthy, intelligent and sweeter than a parent could hope for. For this I am grateful and feel most blessed to have her as obviously, my body was not meant to produce life as some of you can. Be grateful that God sees fit to entrust these lives to your care. It is His will and more of a miracle than we acknowledge most of the time.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

Thank you Confess!

I think you summed up my feelings perfectly.

I'm one of those people who live being pregnant about the time I start showing.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

You are most definitely blessed! I had at least two miscarriages that I am aware of, one being excruciatingly painful and my daughter was born clinically dead, but God in His mercy allowed the medical staff to revive her and she is healthy, intelligent and sweeter than a parent could hope for. For this I am grateful and feel most blessed to have her as obviously, my body was not meant to produce life as some of you can. Be grateful that God sees fit to entrust these lives to your care. It is His will and more of a miracle than we acknowledge most of the time.

I most certainly agree with this, which could probably explain the guilty feelings I've been having.

Unfortunately, too, I get too wrapped up in what other people will think of us having three babies in three years, as if it is any of their business.

 

[porterross]

Unfortunately, too, I get too wrapped up in what other people will think of us having three babies in three years, as if it is any of their business.

No kidding! Perhaps they're just jealous that you are so obviously attracted to one another and not afraid to express it...ahem.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

No kidding! Perhaps they're just jealous that you are so obviously attracted to one another and not afraid to express it...ahem.

LOL.

Usually it's from a financial standpoint: "How are you going to afford four children when you're living on a pastor's salary?"

I hate that question!

 

[QuiltAngel]

PW,
I hate that question! How can I afford _______ on a Pastor's salary. The fact that their salaries are public knowledge and that they are the ones paying it, seems to give them the right to question how we use that money. Grrrrr!!!!!!!! Oh, maybe it is that they are thinking they are going to have to give Pastor a raise since he has so many children.

Smile sweetly and tell them "we'll manage."

 

[dinkime]

from what i have seen, with the WELS pastors i know - including my own, lol, if they have "a lot" of kids, it is FOUR, so come the end of february you should be done, lol

and one by us had 3 girls then a boy! so you may get your girl (that is hubby's side of the "issue" when it comes down to the medical aspect, so have a chat with him, lol)

 

[Confess]

Some of these come-backs are kind of yucky, but it was a fun read ...

Tips on dealing with those who have a hard time comprehending how many children you have:

Mr. or Ms./Mrs. Smith says, "You have your hands full!"
Reply:
*Yes, happily so!
*Yes, and my heart too.
*Better full then half full.
*Better full then empty.
*Full hands, happy life.

Are they all yours?
*No, they are rentals.
*No, this is not all of them, my oldest is at home with the quads.
*((A Mother's reply)) They are all his, but were not sure if they are all mine.
*No, a couple of them starting following us a few minutes ago.
*No, I picked up a couple extra in the produce aisle.
*Of course they're all mine. Do you think I take (fill in your number) kids shopping for fun?
*Are you asking "legally mine"?
*Children seem to be like kittens, they just keep showing up and we just take care of them.
*YES!
*Of course they are..wait..who is that one?
*Yes, they are all ours ... ummmm, excuse me, but I seem to be missing a few.
*Why, does some look familiar to you?
*Why, you want one?
*Yes, at least that's what I tell my husband.

Are you going to have more?
*Why do you want to know?
*Well, not today.
*We are trying to get into the Geniuses Book of World Records of (add whatever here) most kids, largest family living in one house, etc.
*We are shooting to have a family bigger then the one in my favorite movie "Yours, Mine & Ours!" only (add a # here) to beat the 19 they had!!
*Yes, I always want just one more.
*Well, we do have a sixteen passenger van.
*Check back in nine months.

Don't you know what causes that?
*No, please tell me!
*Do you really need me to teach you?
*Yes, we do know what causes that and we like it very much, thank you.
*Oh yes, we finally figured it out and we now keep the tooth brushes in separate glasses!
*Oh yes, I now wash my husband's underwear separately.
*It's in the water.
*It's not a question of how but WHO causes it! God gave us these children!
*Umm ... to many power outages?
*Well, whatever it is, I think we have mastered it!
*Of course, and the Lord has greatly blessed us!
*A strong husband/wife relationship, big hearts, and the Lord's blessing.

Are you going to get fixed?
*But its all working so well!
*Nope, I am not broken!
*Why do you want to know?
*We didn't know anything was broken.
*I like big things.

I can't believe how you do it, I cannot even handle my two!
*Sometimes its all in a woman's attitude.
*Yes, you don't strike me as the type who could handle more kids than that.
*With lots of patience, patience, patience.
*I'm just surprised how well they handle me!
*I carry a rubber mallet.

Are you planning to have any more?
*I've been wondering about this and maybe you can explain it to me: I always thought you had to plan NOT to have more.
*We didn't plan the first six, I don't think we'll plan the next six, either.
*Why plan when you can have more?

Haven't you heard of birth control?
*Yes, I've heard of it, you obviously use it.
*(for dad) Yes, but I just can't find one that will fit me!
*Yes, that's great stuff for ugly couples.
*Oh yes, we do know what birth control is; it's for people who don't like children.

How can you afford having so many?
*Lifestyles are expensive not kids.
*We just budget well.
*It helps not being materialistic.
*When your life is this full, you don't need to spend lots of money on luxuries to fill the void.

I am glad it is you and not me!
*For your sake ... me too!
*Oh me too! I love being a mother! and smile real BIG!
*It helps to love children more then luxuries.

Do you get any time for yourselves?
*Obviously we get a little time to ourselves, or we wouldn't have ____ kids.
*It looks like we get a little tooooo much time.
*No, we do it in between laundry loads.

When people ask if your Catholic.
*No, we're not Catholic.
*No, we're radical Sheite Muslims.
*No, Lutherans do with JUSTIFICATION.

 

[LilLamb219]

I think the "Are they all yours" question can be pretty legitimate. I have one child...but sometimes when I go out someplace, I miraculously have more Friends, cousins, fellow Girl Scouts, etc....seem to join us at times. So, when people ask if they're all mine, I don't feel as if it's a bad question to ask...cuz they're never all mine but some of them are with me a LOT!

 

[PreachersWife2004]

When I was pregnant with David, Aaron was obviously still somewhat of a baby, so I plenty of odd stares and odd questions...like "was this one planned?"

I finally told one busybody lady that because the church pays my husband so poorly, we were surrogating and we were getting paid $10,000 to have this baby for a gay couple.

Unfortunately, I couldn't do it with a straight face, but at least it shut her up.

 

[porterross]

I finally told one busybody lady that because the church pays my husband so poorly, we were surrogating and we were getting paid $10,000 to have this baby for a gay couple.

 

[DaRev]

I finally told one busybody lady that because the church pays my husband so poorly, we were surrogating and we were getting paid $10,000 to have this baby for a gay couple.

 

[latebloomer]

You could always tell the busybodies that you need to complete your basketball team

BTW, the movie Yours, Mine & Ours was based on the mother's book Who Gets the Drumstick. They actually ended up with 21 kids. In the movie, someone asked Lucille Ball (the mom) how she had such an organized home and such happy well adjusted kids. The guy who asked said his wife couldn't cope with two. She said, a lot of love, a little discipline, and a husband who doesn't criticize. I loved the little boy in the movie (1960s version) who had to invent the oatmeal sandwich.

 

[Jim47]

When I was pregnant with David, Aaron was obviously still somewhat of a baby, so I plenty of odd stares and odd questions...like "was this one planned?"

I finally told one busybody lady that because the church pays my husband so poorly, we were surrogating and we were getting paid $10,000 to have this baby for a gay couple.

Unfortunately, I couldn't do it with a straight face, but at least it shut her up.

I enjoy your wit and humor Beckie.

 

[Flipper]

Unfortunately, too, I get too wrapped up in what other people will think of us having three babies in three years, as if it is any of their business.

It's not anyone's business and don't let anyone make you feel guilty. People can be so rude.

You ARE blessed.

 

[Flipper]

I finally told one busybody lady that because the church pays my husband so poorly, we were surrogating and we were getting paid $10,000 to have this baby for a gay couple.

ROFLOL!!! That's classic.

You just have to have a sense of humor.