trust

[shelbygoode]

I'm 17, my boyfriend is 18 almost 19 we've been together for a little over 2 years now, we've grown up together we were each others first for everything which I thought would be cute but not really, its actually hard, because we are also each others first mistakes too, I love him I know I do I've never felt such a strong bond with anyone ever, but he cheated on me before and he has struggled with some addictions, I've been there for him and introduced him to Jesus I taught him all I could to help him believe that was only a month ago though, he still lies though, its so easy for him to lie to me even about the little things, so when something suspicious comes up I just can't bring myself to believing his word, most of the times he does lie though, I've been rating for him to stop lying to help me and himself, but I just want to know how to trust again, its a big problem but I want to work it out together, because I chose to love him.. what do I do? ):

 

[Luther073082]

Stop choosing to be in love with him.

Seriously this guy cheats on you and lies to you and does it again and again and again and still has not changed or stopped.

You can't fix people if they don't want to be helped and by all accounts he doesn't want to be helped. Stop trying to fix him and get the heck away. You are wasting your time with him.

I personally think you are afraid to be alone and you seriously need to get over that fear. But you know this guy isn't good for you, get out of this situation.

 

[singpeace]

I'm 17, my boyfriend is 18 almost 19 we've been together for a little over 2 years now, we've grown up together we were each others first for everything which I thought would be cute but not really, its actually hard, because we are also each others first mistakes too, I love him I know I do I've never felt such a strong bond with anyone ever, but he cheated on me before and he has struggled with some addictions, I've been there for him and introduced him to Jesus I taught him all I could to help him believe that was only a month ago though, he still lies though, its so easy for him to lie to me even about the little things, so when something suspicious comes up I just can't bring myself to believing his word, most of the times he does lie though, I've been rating for him to stop lying to help me and himself, but I just want to know how to trust again, its a big problem but I want to work it out together, because I chose to love him.. what do I do? ):

Shelbygoode,

I have the same problem with my son, and just thinking about it feels like I have a knot in my stomach.

I'm glad you brought this up because I've had good results finding info on a number of emotional, mental, and character issues lately.

I'm going to see what I can find right now and get back to you with whatever I can in a bit.

Hang in there.

 

[singpeace]

Shelbygoode,

There is really not much Christian info out there about this kind of thing - lying for the sake of lying.

So I have some Scriptures here for you, and I suggest you show them to your boyfriend. It may be what he needs to scare him straight. Who knows?

If he really tries to stop, just know he may slip up a little, but if he goes back to constant lying, I would think about making some more serious decisions for myself.


Ye shall not steal, neither deal falsely, neither lie, Lev. 19:11

I hate and abhor lying, Ps. 119:163

Lying lips are abomination to the Lord, Prov. 12:22

They are my people that will not lie, Isa. 63:8

The devil is a liar and the father of lies, John 8:44 (2 Ne. 2:18; Ether 8:25; Moses 4:4).

Thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God, Acts 5:4 (Alma 12:3).

If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar, 1 Jn. 4:20

All liars have part in the second death, Rev. 21:8 (D&C 63:17).

Wo unto the liar, for he shall be thrust down to hell, 2 Ne. 9:34

Many will teach false doctrine, saying: lie a little and there is no harm in it, 2 Ne. 28:8–9

Thou art a God of truth and canst not lie, Ether 3:12 (Num. 23:19; 1 Sam. 15:29; Titus 1:2; Heb 6:18;.

He that lieth and will not repent shall be cast out, Song of Sol 42:21

 

[Beminde]

I don't think it would be a very good idea to throw Bible verses in his face. Actually, I don't think there's anything you should do to change him, because you cannot change someone else, people can only change themselves.

Apart from that, it might be helpful if the cause of his lying behavior becomes known. Because from that point change can happen. Scaring him with Bible verses isn't very helpful. But I think that's not your job, it's a psychologists' job.

For your sake, I would end the relationship if he doesn't want to seek help to change and keeps lying to you.

 

[MrsSeptemberPenguin]

As hard as it is, I think you should end the relationship. There is no way to "fix" this behavior. You can't force him to change. Only he can make that choice. You deserve to be treated better than this. I know how hard this is, especially since he is your first everything, but that doesn't mean that it is the right thing to stay either. You need to think about you, and what you need in your life. Is it someone you can't trust, or someone you can trust, someone who helps pull you closer to God instead of further away? I'm sorry that he's treating you like this, but you deserve better, and he needs to figure out the source of his problems. You can't fix him...