Trust and openness

[tr0utman]

Hello,

I have a friend, let's call him Mike for the sake of keeping him anonymous, who I believe is a Christian, yet has a difficult time trusting others even in the church. He will not open up to anyone in the church. From what I have gathered, it sounds like from past experiences and even from his old church, the normal thing to do for Mike was to was just say to people, "I'm just having faith in God," while at the same time, not telling others problems he had. Mike, like many others in his old church really kept to themselves. He sincerely believes that the problem will be revealed to people whom God has chosen, and somehow God will tell them (but it doesn't sound like it will be coming from Mike.)

Now at my church, we are having a hard time relating to our new friend, Mike. We do know he is having marital issues, and time and again ask him what we can pray for him and we would like to help out in any way, prayers, counseling, etc. All he says is, "pray for guidance," and nothing else. He never really says anything in detail so we really don't know what to pray for or how to help out.

In the end, I am hoping that someone out there can provide some verses or scripture relating to how men and women of the bible had faith in Him, and at the same time "trusted" and were "open" to other Christians about problems, needing help, etc.

Thanks a lot and God Bless!

Troutman

 

[LuckyT]

Hey. I may be young, and I'm not sure how much what I say will mean, but I'm gonna give this a shot. I've had problems in my life that I haven't been able to tell other people, but I needed prayers. And we've been told in youth group that altho we may not know specifically what to pray for, we can still pray to God about them and just say something like, "God, You know the problems so-and-so is facing, and I would like to lift them up to You now so that You can offer them Your guidance and wisdom and love and that You will take care of their needs"...etc, etc. I don't have any help from the way you want it, but I just thought that maybe there is some kind of reason Mike isn't talking about his problems. Give him time. Show him trust, but continue to pray for him. He wants guidance, so definitely emphasize guidance for him in your prayers. Just continue to show that you trust him and maybe in time he will be able to trust you too. Trusting people isn't the easiest thing to do, especially if you've been hurt by trusting someone before. Good luck with your friend, and I hope someone else can help you find some verses that you're looking for.

~Ciao~

 

[desi]

Mike is wise to ask you to pray for guidance. Point out Proverbs to him where it says to use wise advisors to make good plans while praying for God to grant the victory. He may open up, he may not. Pray for him just the same.

 

[tr0utman]

Thank you for your response and thoughtfulness. It's true that if people have been hurt in the past because of betrayal or trust issues, I agree it's difficult for them to open up. I actually had a bad experience in a church once where someone who appeared honest and sincere lied to me about needing money for housing rental and ending up using it for drugs. I felt very betrayed. I know trust can take a while to get back. Although, with Mike, from times I have spoken with him, I haven't gotten the impression there was necessarily mistrust in the past. Mike actually is from another country, and it sounds like where is from, the environment there and culture where he was raised contributed to him not saying much of anything, even to his church friends - that's just the way things were for him as he described it to me.

I know from Romans 8 that the Spirit intercedes on our behalf when we don't know what words to say to the Father on behalf of people we care for. I believe this applies when we don't know what to pray for people and we may not know the complete picture or all the details. I have taken this into account as well.

Christians need God in their lives, and we need each other at the same time. Ultimately, the choice is Mike's for him to make, whatever he wants to say or not.

I don't need to know Mike's deep dark secrets from the past, but I would like to help him out with current challenges that he is facing, but again, he keeps that to himself. What concerns me even more is I don't even see him going to our pastor at church for help. So I asked the pastor to speak with Mike and offer help. Maybe it's not so much a trust issue, but maybe he just doesn't want the help (as strange as it may sound...)

In the mean time, I have and will continue to pray for Mike, and hope to have some type of scripture or verses to say to Mike in some way, "hey... it's ok to rely on other brothers or sisters for help, and they can be trusted" (then show him some examples in the bible).


Thank you and God Bless,

Troutman

 

[Blessed-one]

read 1 Corinthians 12-31 (espeically 21-26)

give it a bit of time, yet do not cease to show concern, and do not push too much...

praying for Mike.